I waited in my room while Mom spoke with Dad when he got back from taking Tina to choir. Boy, had I messed up now. I had blabbed, and things were no longer in my hands. If my parents made the wrong decision, my life could be over \u2013 and they would think they were doing it \u2018for my own good.\u2019<\/p>\n
I called the only person that I thought would understand.<\/p>\n
\u201cHello?\u201d Nikki said.<\/p>\n
\u201cHi, Nikki. Got a few minutes?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cMarsh! You sound terrible! What\u2019s wrong?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI think I just messed up badly,\u201d I admitted. \u201cUm\u2026 I told Mom the truth, and now she\u2019s telling Dad.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAnd\u2026 didn\u2019t we discuss this? I thought you had agreed that you should<\/em> tell them.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n \u201cI suppose\u2026 but Nikki, what if they don\u2019t believe me? When I told Tina, she really freaked out. Chad at least seemed really surprised. Mom seemed to think I was overworked or something. I played something for her, and that<\/em> impressed her, but\u2026 I can\u2019t tell what she\u2019s decided happened. And now she\u2019s talking to Dad, and\u2026 I don\u2019t know what they\u2019re going to do. I\u2019m really worried that they won\u2019t let me go back to Piques.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n \u201cIf they decide you\u2019re overworked and overstressed, you mean?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cExactly.\u201d She\u2019d gone right to the heart of it. \u201cIf Dad thinks this is all the product of stress, he\u2019ll think that a semester off, where the family can keep an eye on me, could be just what I need.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWell\u2026\u201d she said thoughtfully, \u201cthat might not be the worst of things. You\u2019ve got Eric looking for the lab; he\u2019ll still be here. And maybe it will give you a chance to, you know, get used to your new body without the pressure of school.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cBut he found<\/em> the lab!\u201d I exclaimed. I wasn\u2019t explaining this well. \u201cOr rather a grad student did and told him about it. He just called and Mom overheard me, and that\u2019s why I told her. It was either that or lie.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n \u201cHe found it? That\u2019s great!\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYeah, not so great if I\u2019m still here when he gets to see it. And what good would it do me if they can fix things and I\u2019m still here? And this is Jeremy\u2019s last year and I won\u2019t get to see him all year, and \u2013 oh, I forgot to tell you, he took me dancing last night and we\u2019re going to a movie tonight. Or we were supposed to\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWait. Wait. Wait. Jeremy? The boy you were crying about? And why are you\u2026? Marsh, back up a bit. Are you planning to be a boy again or a girl?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2026\u201d It was as though I hadn\u2019t really thought it through. No, I hadn\u2019t at all, actually. This had all happened too fast. \u201cI definitely want to be a boy again. I do<\/em>. Only\u2026\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n \u201cYes?\u201d she prompted when I hesitated?<\/p>\n \u201cJeremy and I got talking and it turned out that he didn’t actually have a girlfriend and he really liked me, and\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cAnd as a boy, that disgusts you and you don\u2019t want to have anything to do with him.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cRight. No! I mean\u2026 I don\u2019t know\u2026 I mean\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYou sound really confused, Marsh. Let\u2019s take this one step at a time. You said he took you dancing?\u201d<\/p>\n So I explained one more time about the arranged date and our soap-opera-like conversation in the car, and the good night kiss, and agreeing to another date tonight.<\/p>\n \u201cSo, you really like this guy?\u201d she observed when I had finished.<\/p>\n \u201cA lot,\u201d I agreed. \u201cLike with weak knees and floating on the ceiling and all. I haven\u2019t felt like this in\u2026 well, a long time.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cMmmHmm. Sounds to me as if somebody\u2019s in love again. From what you\u2019ve told me, that seems to be a pattern with you. Do you think you\u2019re in love with him, or with the idea of being in love?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWhat? It\u2019s not love. We\u2019ve only had one date!\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cAnd now that you think you can be a boy again, you\u2019re going to call the whole thing off, right? Cancel your date tonight?\u201d<\/p>\n I felt my chest constrict. \u201cUm\u2026 I don\u2019t know. Do you think I need to?\u201d<\/p>\n She laughed. \u201cNo, I\u2019m not making that decision for you. I just wanted to see how you would react to the idea. You are one confused little puppy, aren\u2019t you, Marsh?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cSeriously,\u201d I admitted. \u201cI guess what I want is to change back\u2026 but maybe not just quite yet. I mean, I really<\/em> like Jeremy a lot, and I know he likes me, and that will have to end if I\u2026 I mean, <\/span>when<\/em> I change back \u2013 if I can. I\u2019m just not ready to give him up just yet.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n \u201cAnd what happens when you do?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cOh, man. Well, he won\u2019t remember having met me, and\u2026 I guess the best thing for him will be to find another girl\u2026 only I\u2019ll remember and probably still be a little bit in love with him, even though I won\u2019t be attracted to him any more. At least I hope I won\u2019t. So it\u2019ll be almost like with Vicky, where I can remember loving her, but I\u2019m definitely not interested<\/em> in her right now.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n \u201cAnd I think you were jealous of the guy she is<\/em> dating now?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n I sighed \u201cYeah, and I\u2019ll probably be jealous of his new girlfriend, too, only it won\u2019t be quite the same. With Vicky\u2026 I know that she wants me back and I want to be her boyfriend again, and\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cStill? After all the fights you\u2019ve had?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYeah. There\u2019s just something between us. So the real difference will be that if I see him again afterwards, it\u2019ll hurt me, but not him, and I\u2019ll just have to live with it.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cIt\u2019ll hurt even worse if you keep going out with him, you know.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI know. But it\u2019s going to hurt even more if I just stop now, and\u2026 well, I still don\u2019t know<\/em> that I can change back.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n \u201cSo what do you want to do?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI guess\u2026 I want to go out with him again, and see\u2026 and then I\u2019ll worry about it after I change back, if I can<\/em> change back, and that depends on whether Mom and Dad let me go back to school.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n \u201cWhich you don\u2019t think you can control.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI can\u2019t!<\/em> If they decide that I\u2019m inventing the whole thing, they\u2019ll decide that I need to be under a doctor\u2019s care \u2013 Mom already suggested that \u2013 or that I need to stay home and rest.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n \u201cThat would really suck.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYeah. Mom promised that they wouldn\u2019t do anything that made me uncomfortable, so maybe I\u2019m just worrying for nothing.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWill your Dad go along with that?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI have no idea. I don\u2019t remember her saying anything\u2026 Oh, I have to go. I hear them coming.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cTalk to you later, Marsh. Let me know what happens.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI will. Thanks!\u201d And I hung up, about ten seconds before I heard them knock at my door.<\/p>\n \u201cMarsh?\u201d called Dad. \u201cMay we come in?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cCome in!\u201d I called, sitting up on my bed. At some point in the telephone conversation, I seem to have lain down on it.<\/p>\n The door opened and my parents came in, first Dad, looking at me as though I were a stranger, then Mom, looking very worried. I think Dad\u2019s expression hurt more. There was none of the fondness I was used to, and depended on. I had been afraid that this would happen if he ever found out, and now here it was.<\/p>\n Mom took the desk chair, the only chair in the room, and Dad stood halfway from the door to the bed. \u201cSo,\u201d he said. \u201cI assume this is the truth that we weren\u2019t supposed to believe?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI know it\u2019s hard to believe,\u201d I told them quietly, \u201cbut it\u2019s the truth. It\u2019s not a hoax, Daddy. They really did change us.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWell, your mother seemed pretty impressed with your guitar playing, and I admit that I don\u2019t have a good explanation for how you might have learned to play as well as she claims, nor would I be able to judge just how good you are. So I have to admit that there is something going on here. But\u2026 I don\u2019t think I\u2019ve ever heard of a story of people going back in time just to change other people. Usually there\u2019s something else they\u2019re trying to do, and then people wind up changed as a result. Going back in time only to make other people miserable seems gratuitously cruel.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI don\u2019t know, Daddy. I didn\u2019t pay as much attention to the details as I probably should have. They asked a bunch of questions about our family, though, and said that we should imagine how small changes could lead to big changes.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cNow, on Thanksgiving, you made a lot of claims, which you later agreed were lies. How many of them are you now saying are true?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2026 don\u2019t remember everything I said, then. I was pretty upset.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cAbout this cousin.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cTyler. Yes.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cSo that\u2019s one of the things you say was not<\/em> part of the hoax.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n I sighed in frustration. \u201cIt\u2019s not\u2026\u201d I took a breath. \u201cTyler did exist. His disappearance was one of the changes as a result of the experiment.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWhich means that it was not only the volunteers who were changed; supposedly a lot of people were changed.\u201d<\/p>\n I nodded.<\/p>\n \u201cSo why did Bob Peterson say it was a hoax?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cThe Strangers in the Mirror<\/em> say that it\u2019s a cover-up; for some reason the College doesn\u2019t want people to know about it.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n \u201cAnd neither did you, apparently. So if it\u2019s a cover-up, you went along with it.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI did tell you at Thanksgiving,\u201d I pointed out.<\/p>\n \u201cYes, but you also said you were a boy. I saw you last night, Princess. That was not<\/em> the reaction of a boy.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n I turned red. \u201cI\u2026 It was a very nice date.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cAnd you reacted just the way I\u2019d seen you react on dates with your last boyfriend.\u201d He sat next to me on the bed and put his arm around me. \u201cMarsh, I realize that somebody must have happened, and I promise that I\u2019m going to do whatever it takes to fix this and make whoever did this to you, pay. But it seems to me that we have an awful lot of questions and not very many answers. We have a few clues: your claims and those of your friends, this lab that your friend found, and the insistence by Piques College that it\u2019s a hoax.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cHow is that last a clue?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWell, let’s take stipulate that there really was an experiment. It was clearly conducted with school approval, right? I mean, you didn’t hear about it through some back channels?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cNo, they posted an ad on the school\u2019s internal website.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cAnd now they\u2019re denying that it even happened. I don\u2019t suppose the ad\u2019s still around? Or that anybody made a copy of it?\u201d<\/p>\n I shook my head. \u201cThey only usually run for a couple of weeks.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cThe fact that they are claiming it\u2019s a hoax suggests that something went wrong. That it didn\u2019t work the way the College expected. So talking to the people who did it might be useful.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cIf we could find them. We\u2019ve been looking for a long time.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cBut now your friend knows where the lab is, right, Honey?\u201d Mom put in.<\/p>\n \u201cWe think so,\u201d I said, although I wasn\u2019t quite as excited about it as I had been.<\/p>\n \u201cSo we need to see that lab,\u201d Dad concluded. \u201cAnd we need somebody who will understand what we\u2019re seeing. That means that we need a physicist, right? One who is not connected with Piques College. I\u2019m going to have to ask around to see who might owe me a favor.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cIsn\u2019t Sylvia Shimmer\u2019s husband a physicist?\u201d Mom asked.<\/p>\n \u201cI don\u2019t know,\u201d Dad responded. \u201cAsk her. Just don\u2019t get too specific yet about why. We might also need to see if there is a legal angle here; if we can get in touch with the parents of the other victims, maybe a class action lawsuit will work. Marsh, do you have a way to reach the others?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cUm\u2026 I\u2019m not sure. And I\u2019m pretty sure that most of them won\u2019t be willing. They\u2019re pretty frightened of even being found out.\u201d And I had already lost control. I really wasn\u2019t too crazy about the way Dad was taking over. This was<\/em> my <\/span>life we were talking about. I should have just come up with an excuse for Mom.<\/em><\/p>\n \u201cWell, work on them. Call them and try to make them see reason. I\u2019m sure they\u2019ll make the right decision.\u201d I shivered. That was too much like the way Dean Peterson had spoken.<\/p>\n \u201cMarsha, what\u2019s wrong?\u201d Mom asked. It was as though she could read my mind.<\/p>\n \u201cIt\u2019s just\u2026 It feels like Daddy\u2019s trying to bring in all the big guns and it\u2019s going to bring all kinds of attention on us, and\u2026 it makes me wish I hadn\u2019t told you.\u201d<\/p>\n Mom and Dad looked at each other. \u201cOK, Princess,\u201d Dad said after a moment. \u201cWe don\u2019t have<\/em> to do it that way. What did you have in mind?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n \u201cI guess\u2026\u201d I squirmed a bit. \u201cI sort of thought we could start by seeing what\u2019s in the lab and go from there.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cAnd maybe, Art, what she really needs now is support, not solutions,\u201d Mom explained. And then she came over and set on my other side and put her arms around me.<\/p>\n \u201cOK. OK,\u201d Dad said, watching me rest my head on Mom\u2019s shoulder. \u201cI just\u2026 feel like I want to do<\/em> something about this. If what you\u2019re saying is true, Marsh, that means that you and all of your friends\u2026 had their lives violated. I\u2019m your father, Princess. Nobody should be able to do that to my little girl and get away with it.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n \u201cLet us know what you want from us, Honey,\u201d Mom said. \u201cIf you want lawyers, we\u2019ll get lawyers. If you want scientists or commandos, or whatever, we\u2019ll figure out a way.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cCommandos?\u201d I asked, picking up my head.<\/p>\n She grinned. \u201cI\u2019m just being dramatic. The point is, while this is very strange for us, you are<\/em> our daughter and we are on your side.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n I nodded.<\/p>\n \u201cSeriously strange,\u201d Dad agreed. \u201cUm\u2026 I can\u2019t help feeling as though this is just a dream or something.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cIt\u2019s been a nightmare for me,\u201d I said.<\/p>\n \u201cI get that, and I\u2019m going to try not to \u2018take over.\u2019 But I do hate feeling as though I can\u2019t do<\/em> anything.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019ll let you know, Daddy,\u201d I said, and I kissed him on the cheek.<\/p>\n Then he stood up and pulled Mom and me to our feet. \u201cOK. So if we can\u2019t solve this, can we solve something else? Why don\u2019t we all pick up Tina and then go out to lunch? Sort of just to celebrate Marsh being home \u2013 whichever version of her she happens to be.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" I waited in my room while Mom spoke with Dad when he got back from taking Tina to choir. Boy, had I messed up now. I had blabbed, and things were no longer in my hands. If my parents made the wrong decision, my life could be over \u2013 and they would think they were […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[9],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-920","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-section-7-winter-break"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.takealemon.com\/story\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/920","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.takealemon.com\/story\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.takealemon.com\/story\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.takealemon.com\/story\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.takealemon.com\/story\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=920"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/www.takealemon.com\/story\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/920\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1084,"href":"https:\/\/www.takealemon.com\/story\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/920\/revisions\/1084"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.takealemon.com\/story\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=920"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.takealemon.com\/story\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=920"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.takealemon.com\/story\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=920"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}