82 Whispered Secrets
We left Sunday afternoon, with hugs and kisses all around. As we pulled onto the highway, Tina leaned over to me and whispered, “You seemed to getting along with Joey, near the end. Did he seem surprised?”
“What do you mean?” I whispered back.
“Well, maybe I forgot to mention it, but Marsha and he had been feuding for a few years.”
Mom had looked over her shoulder at us, briefly, but I suppose sisters whispering together isn’t unusual, so she turned back to talking with Dad. “I know,” I told Tina. “Joey and I sort of blew up at each other yesterday and cleared the air. I apologized, and I think our little feud is over.”
“Just like that?”
I shrugged. “He had a good point. I’m not saying I don’t wish he hadn’t sold the guitar, but… oh, well.”
“You seem to be… calmer than you were at the start of the weekend,” she observed.
“I don’t know if I’m resigned, or just tired. I hadn’t expected more drama at Grandma’s than we’re going to have on stage this coming weekend.”
Tina giggled at that. “I wish we could come up to see you.”
“Me, too. But Alvin said he was going to have somebody videotape it, so I’ll see if I can send you a DVD or something.”
The trip back to Piques was relatively uneventful. As promised, Mom and Dad didn’t say anything about my meltdown until we got to campus.
“Now, remember, Princess,” Dad reminded me as I kissed him goodbye, “You are to call your mother at least every other day.”
“I’ll remember, Daddy,” I said. I watched the family drive off and walked back to my room.
I called Vicky when I got back to my room, but she told me she was a couple of hours away from getting back, so I promised to call her after rehearsal, and spent the next hour reviewing my script.
“How was your weekend?” Jo greeted me when I saw her, just outside the theater room.
“Fine, thanks. How was yours?” I said automatically, and gave her a hug. Then I noticed her giving me a strange look. “Is something wrong?”
“Well, you must have had a great weekend. I don’t remember you being so huggy.”
“Oh. Yeah…” I answered, surprised. “Great…” I wasn’t conscious of being different, though. Hugging a friend after not seeing her for almost a week just seemed a natural thing to do.
As we walked in together, we could see how the stage had been transformed into the Great Hall of a large old home. Flats at the back and side had been painted in a Victorian style, with fake molding, and two large arched windows, with additional flats behind them to represent the wintry outdoors. Doorways opened on both sides, with curtains behind them. Somehow, the set builders had found an eclectic mix of armchairs and sideboards to place around the walls.
“They did a great job, didn’t they?” I observed. A few of the actors were already on stage, walking around the set, so Jo and I joined them. We tried out some of our blocking, just to see how the set would affect it; the distances were almost certain to be different, and sitting in an armchair wasn’t quite the same as sitting on a folding chair.
We did that for a few minutes before Alvin hurried in, looking a bit flustered. “Sorry, I’m late, folks. Ran into a bit of traffic, getting back. Could the actors please get into costume? We’re going to set up the lighting now, and we’ll want to check light levels and colors.”
So we filed off the sides of the stages into the dressing rooms, where our costumes were waiting. I had two: one for the first scene, and one for the rest of the play, which is supposed to take place the following day; both were my own dresses, which Nikki had altered slightly to make more suitable for the period. Once we were all changed, we returned to the stage.
Some of the stage lighting was on, by then, and some guys I didn’t know, who were presumably the tech crew, were on ladders up the lights, which they had hung the previous week.
“OK, folks, let’s set up for the start of the show. All the props should be in place. See Bill if you can’t find yours. We’re going to walk through the show – we’ll be stopping at every light cue. Nikki will be on book this rehearsal, but by now I don’t expect anybody to need prompting. Just do your scenes until I stop you.”
I started, of course, since I am on stage for about a minute before anybody else. That made me the guinea pig. Alvin stopped me before I said my first line, so that they could adjust a light for my entrance, and then again just before I came back onstage after Jared’s entrance. And then we started again. And stopped. And started. By the time we reached the end of the first act, the actors were definitely starting to get tired.
The one good thing about the rehearsal from my perspective was that my brief times off-stage were much longer. That gave me a chance to talk to Nikki.
“How was your break?” I asked as I dropped into the vacant seat next to her.
“Not bad,” she answered. “I spent Thursday and Friday with my parents, and the weekend at Alvin’s house.”
“Nice. You get along well with his family?”
“Mh hmm. How about you?”
“Well, it was nice seeing the family, and I sort of resolved things with my cousin – you know, the one I blamed for selling Grandpa’s guitar?”
“Mm hmm.”
“But I also had some weird things happen with my memory. Did–” I broke off as Alvin came back and the actions started again, meaning that Nikki had to pay attention in case somebody dropped a line. When Alvin stopped the show again to work on the next lighting cue, I continued. “Has Ben found himself remembering anything from the wrong life? You know, the one where he plays guitar instead of basketball?”
“Not as far as he’s told me,” she replied. “Why?”
“Just wondering. I remembered something over break, and I’m just worried that it was Marsha’s memory, not mine.”
“Is that possible?”
“I have no idea. I don’t even know why I am in her life with my memories. I guess, my worry is that I might wind up losing my own memories.”
She looked at me, very concerned. “That’s scary.”
“I know.”
“Um… I don’t even know what to say about something like that.”
“Yeah.”
Then I really wished I hadn’t said anything, as I seemed to have killed the conversation. I guess it can be a real downer to tell somebody that you thought you could be… what? Dying? Going insane? Was there even an equivalent for what I might be facing? I needed to change the subject.
“I found … um, Marsha’s vibrator,” I said, lowering my voice in case Alvin came back in mid-conversation.
“Oh?”
“It, um, worked,” I told her, suddenly a bit embarrassed. “But my sister walked in on my me.”
That made her laugh, although she stifled it as quickly as she could. And then we looked at each other and we both giggled. Then Alvin came back again and we had to stop. I was due back on stage again, soon, anyway.
We finished close to eleven o’clock, and I called Vicky as I left.
“Marsh!” she said. “I’m so sorry I wasn’t back before. The traffic…”
“Yeah, Alvin told us there was a lot of traffic. Is it OK to come over now?”
“Sure! How was your break?”
“Oh, you know,” I started, intending to answer the same non-committal way I had always answered such questions, when I remembered that “it’s fine” wasn’t going to be close to correct. So I changed mid-thought to, “Actually, not all that well. I mean, it’s been great to see the family and all, but I sort of told Mom and Dad about the experiment.”
I could hear the tension flow back into her voice. “Uh huh… and it didn’t go well, I take it?”
“I sort of freaked out. Did I ever mention my cousin Tyler?”
“I… don’t remember.”
I nodded to myself. I had hoped I had, but didn’t expect it. If I had done so, at least somebody else would have remembered him. “Well, he was younger than Tina, and he loved my guitar playing, and…” I stopped. It was still hard to say.
“Yes…?” she prompted me after a few seconds.
I took a deep breath and let it out. “In this new timeline, he doesn’t exist. He was never born.”
“Oh my gosh,” she said softly.
“Yeah, anyway, I didn’t find out until just before dinner, and I had been thinking about him a lot, and I really reacted badly when things seemed so normal even though he wasn’t there, and I freaked out, and told Mom about the experiment. Then she made me tell Dad, and neither of them believed me.”
“You can hardly blame them, can you?”
“No, I guess not. Anyway, Dad called somebody he knows in the Dean’s office and asked him about the Strangers and the guy told him it was all a hoax, and –”
“Wait,” she broke in, “you told somebody in the Dean’s office about Strangers in the Mirror?”
“Well, my Dad did, actually.”
“Marsh, as far we know, nobody associated with the college knows about the Strangers, or at least they don’t know any names. Now somebody knows your name and that you know the group.”
I felt my chest tighten. Not that I really believed any of Ian and Luke’s paranoia, but Vicky sure sounded as though she might, and was now about to blame me for something going wrong. “Well, they probably don’t know what the group name means,” I suggested, maybe a bit defensively. “I mean, it’s just something you guys called yourself in private, right?”
“Marsh, you’re not thinking. To somebody who knows about the experiment, the name is pretty much a dead giveaway. Obviously it has to mean the people who volunteered.”
“But wait…” I tried to think this out quickly. I didn’t want Vicky thinking badly of me, not when we had just made up after our fight. “Wouldn’t they already know who the volunteers are? I mean, couldn’t they get a list from the experimenters?”
“I… I don’t know,” she said, hesitantly. “I don’t think I’ve heard that point discussed, but you’re right, they ought to know… unless maybe Professor Davis wouldn’t give them the list? I mean, we don’t know if he cooperated with them.”
“Oh… right. You know, we also don’t know if the school did a cover up, or if they honestly think this is a hoax. If they think it’s a hoax, maybe they won’t care to find the group.”
“So we could figure out whether there was a cover up by how they react!” Now she sounded excited. “Marsh, this could be either really good or really bad.”
“So we need to go back to the group and tell them about it, right?”
“Um, actually, probably you shouldn’t. I think you need to stay clear of anybody in the Strangers for now. Just until we know if somebody actually might be following you.”
“Anybody?” I echoed, feeling chilled. “Does that mean you, too?”
“I don’t know,” she admitted.
“Well, I’m, like, just outside your dorm now. Do you want me to come in now or not?”
I heard her hesitate.
“You don’t seriously think anybody’s following me tonight, do you?” I said, after a moment.
“Um… probably not… but…”
I sighed. “Vix, I really hope this isn’t going to mean we can’t see each other.”
“No…”
“Look, it’s kind of late anyway. Why don’t you think about it and call me, OK?”
“OK?”
I turned and walked back to my room, suddenly feeling more alone than I had in a long while.
Called it! 😀
Great chapter, I really felt bad for Marsh in this one. No one wants to be erased…
Sorry I am a nazi with the spelling & grammar, I blame my teacher-slash-mother.
…two of them _help_ large arched…
folder chair <– May be a regional thing, but I've always heard them called 'folding chairs'
supposed to take place the _follow_ day;
Once we _are_ all changed.. I admit I am personally weak on past/present tense, but instinct tells me 'were' would fit better in that sentence?
…the one _were_ he plays guitar…
..but _Vicky’s_ sure sounded as though… Don't need the _'s_ there.
Keep up the great work, I'm really loving it.
Yawn.
Next?
Seriously, did anything happen in this chapter… anything that we haven’t already dealt with or should’ve been dealt with earlier?
>> “Um… I don’t even know what to say about something like that.”
My reaction, too. And not just about the memory problems.
>> And then we looked at each other and we both giggled.
THERE’S a shred of plot. Can’t imagine a guy giggling about a masturbation aid.
>> Marsh, you’re not thinking.
Plot summary, “Take a Lemon”
Yeah, virtually all of it is fluff. Virtually the only meat on the bone is Marsh retaining her firm grip on the idiot stick by shooting her mouth off about the Strangers. But in an odd way it makes sense. A rational person wouldn’t have told either of her parents anything; but once they did, they’d likely fill in as many details as possible trying to make their case. Similarly, most parent’s wouldn’t immediately ring up the dean, not wanting to make their child sound idiotic or mentally unsound. So, given the familial mental challenges, I can see how this would happen. The question will be, does this become a MAJOR turning point in the plot, (as well it might) or fizzle?
Russ, far be it from me to criticize someone else’s verbose writing style, but the mechanics of set dressing and lighting are far from interesting for those of us who weren’t Drama majors. Also:
>> I’m not saying I wish he hadn’t sold the guitar, but… oh, well.”
Don’t you mean “I’m not saying I DON’T wish he hadn’t sold the guitar”?
I kinda liked that chapter and while it would have been nice to have some meat to chew over not all of the chapters can be full meat, sometimes you have to eat those pesky veggies as well. I certainly don’t think this chapter was completely empty of good stuff 🙂
I’d hoped that the tension at the end of the chapter would come up, as this was one of the first things I thought off when Art got off the phone to his friend.
Looking forward, as always, to the next chapter.
>>I certainly don’t think this chapter was completely empty of good stuff
Well, then, enlighten us. I think the chapter was relatively well written, it just didn’t say anything that shouldn’t have been dealt with earlier.
I agree with Scott re. Dad’s behavior, and add that I am appalled at Tina’s behavior. How is Marsh making it through life with so few faux pas’s if his primary briefer falls down so on the job? How is it that he didn’t know that he had been abusing Joey all these years, or that Tyler didn’t exist.
Will he now wake up and realize the seriousness of his position? Including the fact that maybe other people died as a result of this experiment (if it was such)? and that there might be other enourmous changes?
Waiting for the next chapter… and hoping it is completely devoid of vibrators (the mechanical kind).
Yes, Teen did drop the ball with the feud between Marsha and Joey. But, that can be forgiven due to the sheer amount of things Teen knows that Marsh doesn’t, and not knowing what Marsh doesn’t know is the problem.
As for things significant, that may have come out earlier but didn’t necessarily have to:
1) Finding the vibrator lets us know that Marsha wasn’t repressed in terms of sexual exploration.
2) Marsh is getting more out of the role of Marsha and into his/her own – hugging Jo is a good example
3) Moving forward with the play is good.
4) The whole ‘oh know! they know that Marsh is part of ‘Strangers in the Mirror’ and that they can use her to find the others – I’d like to think the Administrator, rather than try to hide it, will actually listen and try to help.
But, hey, you might not have found those things are not particularly ‘good stuff’ for a chapter. Each to his/her own.
As for your comment ‘and hoping it is completely devoid of vibrators (the mechanical kind)’ I think Russ is handling that particular topic, which would be part of Marsh’s life, with a great deal of skill – most people would have centered on that topic and ended up ruining the story/character.
>>1) Finding the vibrator lets us know that Marsha wasn’t repressed in terms of sexual exploration.
>>As for your comment ‘and hoping it is completely devoid of vibrators (the mechanical kind)’ I think Russ is handling that particular topic, which would be part of Marsh’s life, with a great deal of skill – most people would have centered on that topic and ended up ruining the story/character.
Oh, my. First of all, no, most people would not have centered on that topic. I have read, in my life, thousands of books, and don’t recall one which has centered on that topic.
And as for ‘not being repressed in terms of sexual exploration’… words fail me. First of all, outside of marriage, being ‘repressed in terms of sexual exploration’ is a good thing. But, leaving aside that monumentally true fact that modern society despises, it is hardly ‘sexual exploration’ to focus on self-pleasuring while simultaneously ignoring the obvious issues of true sexuality. In fact, it is one of the grave issues of Marsh’s character faults. Anyone, boy or girl, who focuses on masturbation while ignoring their necessary sexual role is, precisely, someone who is sexually ‘repressed’.
Leaving morality aside for a minute, the issue is a tremendous distraction to the actual story, a ‘putting’ off of the necessary and natural sexual tension. As an aside in the first few chapters it could have been funny or tragic, or a development of his relationship with Chad, Tina, his mother, etc.. However, having waited till now, it is just a distraction.
on 2010/03/08 at 2:47am Trax wrote:
Thanks for catching all of those – I must have been really tired when I typed this up.
>>unusual, so she
I think this should be ‘because’ she. You are writing from the first person, so all of the ‘because of this’ kind of thing needs to be done from that perspective.
>>my teacher-slash-mother.
As in ‘and’ or as in homeschooled? We homeschool our six.
You call it a distraction, I call it story telling /shrug I like the way the story is going. I’m not expecting everything to wrap up nice and neatly here, or even close to it, especially things like the relationship with Chad. I think we are both expecting different things from the story, which is fine. I also think we have differing outlooks on life as well, which is fine – you probably think I’m a Cotton-headed-ninny-muggins anyway 🙂
>>I think we are both expecting different things from the story, which is fine. I also think we have differing outlooks on life as well,
Obviously. Russ’s job, like all authors, is to speak to whatever audience he has chosen, with whatever message he wants to deliver, or whatever story he wants to tell. He has, in this instance, picked a hard job for himself. This story has some science fiction elements, but fails to deliver on them. There are (as I point out in my review) no aliens, no nasty security types wandering around trying to arrest anyone, no technobabble, etc.
He starts out with a typical *secret known only to a few* story, in which we have Tina and Chad as the ‘Lois Lane’ type figures, the sidekicks that know what is going on with the hero and help him. But then he moves away from them… literally and figuratively. The book has great issues of character development with the various plot elements of gender transformation, who did I used to be, etc., but Marsh’s character stubbornly refuses to develop (or even, in my eyes or perhaps Scott’s, even to exist!).
Thus, a hard job, and I am not really sure where Russ is going with it. He is very readable, and has raised some fascinating questions. That is why I keep reading. But if the plot were to develop, and the characters to develop, and someone were to rise above the pack in terms of moral courage and intelligence then I, personally, would be even more interesting.
What books do you consider good, and can you think of one that this book resembles?
(and I have never heard of a Cotton-headed-ninny-muggins, so I really can’t answer that comment)
>>2) Marsh is getting more out of the role of Marsha and into his/her own – hugging Jo is a good example
Huh? I beg to differ. Hugging Joey, once he was done being mad at him, was a very girl thing to do, which fits with his continuing transformation, but… what is ‘his role’?? Who is he anyway?
I, personally, haven’t seen him really decide to do or be anyone. Not on his own, against opposition. He seems the ultimate in ‘going with the flow’.
Not Joey, Jo!
***“How was your weekend?” Jo greeted me when I saw her, just outside the theater room.
“Fine, thanks. How was yours?” I said automatically, and gave her a hug. Then I noticed her giving me a strange look. “Is something wrong?”***
I mostly read Sci-Fi & Fantasy books, with the occasional spy/drama/thriller thrown into the mix. And no, this is not like any of the books I’ve ever read – I’ve read quite a few as well that raise a character into the story and then leave them incomplete, so it is of no mind to me that Russ may be doing that.
Cotton-headed-ninny-muggin’s come from the movie Elf – starring Wil Ferrel probably one of his best movies http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Elf_(film) and Zoey Deschanel.
>>***“How was your weekend?” Jo greeted me when I saw her, just outside the theater room.
“Fine, thanks. How was yours?” I said automatically, and gave her a hug. Then I noticed her giving me a strange look. “Is something wrong?”***
Oh, missed that. And I read this differently than you did. I took this as Marsh acting differntly… than Marsh. IE when he was first transformed he acted un-girl like, and didn’t give hugs. Now that he is further transformed, he is acting more appropriately.
To me that read that this wasn’t something Marsha would do either.
Could be, we’ll see, I suppose. Or Russ could fix it in such a way as to make it clear.
Something above edited to add:
I count more than two regular readers and commentors, now.
I’ve been a regular reader since the low 50’s in terms of chapters, I just never took the time to speak up. I probably check the RSS feed every few hours despite knowing Russ tends to update at 1am EST.
Mother/Teacher only because she is my mother, and is also a Special Ed Elementary School teacher. I never had her ‘teach me’, though I sure was schooled!
Now to get myself on Von’s shit list, I agree with Hoopla about Russ’s actual LACK of focus on things like vibrators and whatnot. A lot of stories I have read like this that have comparably interesting premises degrade quickly into the main character being a total bimbo/slut, triggers of such behavior being loss of male mind, and/or rampant sexual exploration. Russ has only touched on these topics in several chapters and has (I think) made a point to avoid going into fetish territory.
I think of this story as a naive guy in a real world, thrust into a fantastical scenario. As such, sexual exploration is often a given, as it can be considered part of ones identity.
All that said, I have to take issue with what von said about sexual exploration before marriage. I respect your opinion, as that is what it is, an opinion. You state it as pretty much fact as I read it though. My personal opinion is that multiple sexual partners at once(adultery and/or threesomes) isn’t good, nor is sex without love, or under the age of 18. Sex before marriage I think to be an important part of many peoples lives and usually not immoral(a relative term in itself). It lets people find out what they like and don’t like, and if there is chemistry worth buying a ring over. My first girlfriend? If we’d married, I’d of divorced her damn quick after.
Also, I hope your kids do have social lives outside the family/home schooling, as the 2 friends I have that were home schooled have had a really really hard time (comparatively speaking) with life in their 20’s.
>>>I respect your opinion, as that is what it is, an opinion.
Nope. This is wrong on a couple of levels:
1) First of all, it vitiates our vocabulary. If we use the same word ‘opinion’ for everything from whether I like your tie to whether murder is morally wrong; for everything from one mans stray thoughts to the collective wisdom of millions of people over the ages… then the word simply becomes meaningless.
2) It begs the question of whether there are actual moral right’s and wrong’s. If there are, then speaking about them is as ‘factual’ as speaking about whether a given bridge is solid. The primary difference between the new morality, post-modernism, is precisely whether objective morality exists. I hold that your view is factually incorrect.. as incorrect as saying that two plus two equals one hundred and two.
>>A lot of stories I have read like this that have comparably interesting premises
Hmmm. I wonder if Russ is interested in doing a story ‘like this’ with ‘comparably interesting premises’. I thought his premise was interesting in a completely different way. Indeed almost an opposite way.
>> First of all, outside of marriage, being ‘repressed in terms of sexual exploration’ is a good thing. But, leaving aside that monumentally true fact that modern society despises,
>> It begs the question of whether there are actual moral right’s and wrong’s. If there are, then speaking about them is as ‘factual’ as speaking about whether a given bridge is solid. The primary difference between the new morality, post-modernism, is precisely whether objective morality exists. I hold that your view is factually incorrect.. as incorrect as saying that two plus two equals one hundred and two.
Unless you can give me a scientific, multi pronged analysis showing that every single person on earth (and I do mean each and every individual) is better off marrying before having sex (and you’d have to define what marriage is), I implore that you not go so far with your definition of a “fact”, which can be as easily overused as the term “opinion”. There are very, very few things in this world that can even be potentially assumed as absolute truths. Rather, there are truths under specific situations with predefined assumptions (this is as true for science as it is for morality). Ignoring potential exceptions is a grave problem.
>> Ignoring potential exceptions is a grave problem.
There are no exceptions. And I do not worship at the God of Science, so you will search long and hard for your multi pronged analysis. Morality comes from a higher source than science.
Hmm, I don’t think we need an ideology discussion/argument/disagreement here. Everyone has opinions/beliefs/know the way the world is, and each is different from everyone else. I just ask that none of us, myself included, push a particular point of view onto the story. The only person that can do that is Russ – who I think is doing so very well. We ALL are opinionated and can get hostile when our opinion is challenged, but this isn’t the place for it.
Ooo, the next chapter is when? I can’t wait!
I agree Hoopla, the only point I wished to make was that it was opinion and not fact. As I said before, I respect his opinion even though I do not live by it. I said what I wanted to say and I don’t intend to pursue the matter any further, as indeed this isn’t the place to do so.
I’m also looking forward to the next chapter, as always!
>the only point I wished to make was that it was opinion and not fact.
And I disagreed. Scott and I and Russ pursued the matter some more by private email.
I am always interested in what people think is, and isn’t, appropriate in comments. I love long comment trails about all sorts of things, others prefer a much tighter niche. Not sure why they do, but tis Russ’s book 🙂
Private email is cheating! 🙂
Hey, if you want to join in, get Scott and Russ’s permission and email me at von@vonsbooks.com and I will copy you on the emails.
HEY YOU GUYS!
Did ya miss me?
Couple of things:
“So we filed off the sides of the stages”
I’m not an English “major” but I think that might be supposed to say “filed off OF the sides”…
“But my sister walked in on _my_ me.”
(I stealed someone’s correction style there, sorry!)
And I am DEEPLY disgusted with myself that I missed such an interesting topic for discussion. *cries*
In terms of whether Marsh isn’t really being herself/hisself/her previous self, I’m afraid I have to get back into the story again to comment. What I will say is that I have noticed some inconsistencies between what Marshall believes in his mind and what Marsh does in person (ie thinking about whether something is girly or not but then instinctively hugging someone, which by the way I do not hold to be innately girly and Marshall might also have hugged a friend when he returned from break, be it a male or female friend).