<—Russ’ Version

#

The first thing I noticed

Once outside the door (and the view of that Newtonian) I stopped, looked at the ground, and, sure enough, a multitude of stripes.  And one of them was indeed, red green red.  That is a thin red stripe on either side of a thin green stripe, all making up one stripe.  I followed the stripe down a long hall, passing only a couple of ship crew, in their grey uniforms, then up a ladder, and then to a hallway.  Hallway A18.

A door at the far end of the hallway was just closing and, after watching that, I glanced at the doors to either side.  The doors were all labeled, with ‘A18a’ on one side of me and ‘A18t’ on the other.  And then, the next door past A was clearly marked ‘A18b’.  My door.  Our door.  I stared at it.  At first because I was nervous at the thought of this my new home, new life, new partner; and then because it wasn’t obvious how it opened.  There was no handle or anything.

Eventually I realized that there was a square area right next to the door, about eye height.  I had just started to reach out my hand to it, to push it, when I heard a noise.

I turned.  It was the girl, the one with the boy story, whose name I still didn’t know, and she was staring down the same hallway I was in, looking almost as nervous as I felt.  We stared at each other, after a couple of seconds then, swallowing hard, I turned back to the door, and put my hand up against the square, pushing.

I was wrong, though.  It wasn’t a button.  It was some kind of sensor, and it flashed green when I touched it.  It flashed, and the door slid open.

The first thing I noticed was the boy… I suppose in the circumstances I should call him a man.  He had been sitting in the middle of the cell, and, when I came in, leapt to his feet, turning to face me.  He was medium build, for a boy: black hair, darkish skin, not exactly tall but not short.  And very, very nervous.  I looked him in the eye, “Hi.  My name is Aliya Brendon…, and I guess I am your partenere.”

He took my hand, pumping it several times, nervously.  “Yes, yes… I heard you were coming, I mean, the computer told me.  I’m Andrew, Andrew Tome.” I heard a noise behind me and turned to catch the face of the girl that had followed me into the hallway, just as the door slid close between us.  I turned back, looked at him, and the silence stretched out between us.  We both knew what we were supposed to be doing.  After that lecture from the Newtonian I certainly did!

“I guess we better get started,” I said.  He didn’t say anything so it was left to me to say, “Lights out.” hoping the computer had voice controls.  It did, and the lights went out.  All the way out.  Everything was all sealed, this being a spaceship and all, and I couldn’t see a thing.  I stumbled over toward him.  He had been standing on the bed, after all, which was where we needed to…  to end up, anyway.  I kind of reached forward with my hands, trying not to bump into anything, and after a couple of steps, my hands bumped into him and I jerked them back.

“Shall we… do you want to sit to get started?” he asked, nervously, his voice sounding incredibly close, in the dark.

“I guess, OK, if you want,” I said.  I definitely didn’t want to start lying down, and standing seemed awkward already.  I sat down, trying to not bump into him in the dark, and I heard him sit, too.

We just sat there, listening to each other breath for a couple of minutes and then I heard him scrunching over toward me and tensed up.  But instead of touching me, as he was supposed to be doing, as I expected him to do, as I was even, sort of, wanting him to do, he started talking, instead, “I, I’ve never done this,” he said, then, “of course you know I’ve never done this.  I just, I don’t quite know…”

I was already scared enough, and embarrassed enough; I didn’t appreciate him to acting all scared and everything.  He must be just putting it on, he was a boy.  Everything I had ever read or heard, including that Newtonian’s horrible speech, told me that boys didn’t need any particular lessons and were always eager for… for what we were supposed to do.  “You’ve read Gruden’s, I suppose,” I snapped out.  “Everyone has.”

“Yes…” he said.

“Well, then you know what you are supposed to be doing!”

“So, you’re Ok if I…”

“Just do it, will you?!” I snapped.  How could he ask if I was ‘OK’? Of course I was ‘OK’! Did he think I didn’t know what my duty was? Did he think that I was one of those girls the Newtonian had gone about, who failed their country and their race by… by not doing their duty to their partner? Why did he have to make this harder than it already was? I hadn’t asked for this, especially now and with him, but I knew my duty!

Besides which, my dad’s voice kept echoing in my head… “Remember, you chose this…” I had chosen this. I had decided to go to finishing school, and make myself available for the cull. This boy had the right to expect that I would… would be a good, loyal, partner.

Andrew didn’t answer me, at least not verbally.  I suppose he finally felt he had ‘permission’ though as, a few seconds later I felt his groping hand hit my shoulder and trace its way up to my face.  “This might be easier in the light,” he suggested, tentatively, as his hand hit my nose and he pulled it back.

“Keep the lights out!” I snapped, and I felt him stiffen.  “Well, keep going,” I said and reached out his hand again and felt along my face, tentatively, nervously.  I felt his other hand move to my other shoulder and I could hear him shuffling his body even closer and sitting up on his knees.  I closed my eyes (which I suppose you think was silly, since it was pitch dark, but it was what Gruden’s said to do) and his mouth, after stumbling around for a while against my nose, eventually found my mouth, and we kissed. My first ‘real’ kiss.

We practiced kissing for some minutes, and I was just almost getting comfortable, when I felt his hands leave my shoulder.  This was Gruden’s second step, and he was supposed to be doing it but…  but it was too fast for me.

I didn’t object though, and his hands traveled down my back.  All the way down my back.  It felt, well, kind of good.  He liked it too, and didn’t seem in a hurry to move on.  We kept kissing and he kept his hands on my backside for quite a while before moving them lower, toward my legs.

I kind of jumped, and he stopped.  But neither of us said anything and I felt his hands moving back toward me.  He didn’t move them back to my legs, however, moving them instead toward my, well, chest.  He liked that too, very definitely, but it made it very hard to kiss and, eventually, he moved his hands back to my backside, and then to my legs.  More prepared I just let him do it, contenting myself with getting better at kissing and with my hands, you know, around his shoulders and all.

“I think, I think it’s your turn,” he said.  It was, too.  Gruden’s had made it clear that, while the boy could, or even should, start the ‘touching’ phase the girl needed to do it too.  I followed, basically, the same pattern he had set, figuring that that was safe.  He kept up with his own touchings and, after a while, even after the most intimate touchings, I started to get really comfortable, almost wondering if I should suggest we should lay down.  Gruden’s had said that some of these touchings were easier that way.

Suddenly I felt him fumbling with my zipper and my fear, and my anger, which had almost died away, came back.  I wasn’t nearly done, I wasn’t nearly ready for that! But, of course, I couldn’t object, as, according to both Gruden’s and that crazy Newtonian lady, he was just doing what he was supposed to be doing next.

And then my anger was replaced with panic as I realized I didn’t have anything on underneath this jump suit! I was about to say something, to warn him or something, when that Newtonian lady’s lecture came back to me.  My anger returned as I realized that, far from being annoyed, or embarrassed, he would probably enjoy it!

And he did enjoy it, too, or at least it seemed like he did.  He seemed to enjoy everything.  I tried, I really did.  But even the Newtonian had said that, for girls, the first time was often uncomfortable… especially when, like now, their heart wasn’t really in it.  If only he wasn’t so nervous, so tentative… and if he didn’t enjoy it so much! It wasn’t fair!

And then, suddenly, or at least it seemed sudden to me, he was done.

#

“Wow!” he said, “That was great.  Thanks.  Should I turn the lights on now?” he asked, desire evident in his voice.

“No, thank you,” I said, stepping over him and manipulating the controls to the shower in the dark.  After getting myself a faceful of freezing cold water I snapped out, “I can’t see these controls.  Turn around so I can turn the lights on.”

‘OK,” he said, and I heard a rustle, “Lights on,” he added.

I glanced at his back for a second and then turned back toward the shower controls, which were on the far side, hoping that he was at least honest enough to keep his back turned while I had my back turned and wouldn’t steal a peek.  I got the water right and turned back, quickly, but he was still facing away.

The shower felt good, as did the dryer, but I wasn’t really comfortable until, having watched him closely the whole time to see that he stayed turned around, I reached into a closet and pulled out robe.  “OK,” I said, pulling it on, “I’m dressed.”

He got up eagerly and I turned toward the wall as he brushed past me.

“So, what next?” I asked him, while he manipulated the shower controls.  “Sleep?” I suggested, hopefully.  I wasn’t sure how long I had spent in that medical cylinder, but I was exhausted.

“Oh, no,” he said, finally getting the water to the temperature he wanted.  It was actually kind funny to watch him, as he wasn’t at all as blasé about my watching him while he showered as he wanted to be, and he kept glancing at me nervously.  He didn’t ask me to turn around, though, and I figured he deserved this, so I kept staring at him and trying not to grin, or blush.

This was just the end of my sleep period, our sleep period,” he said.  “In an hour or so the computer should light up with today’s assignment.

“So we have an hour, great,” I said to him.  How about if you tell me all about yourself?”  I was going to have to live the rest of my life with this… boy, I might as well learn something about him.

As I waited I picked up the bed… sliding it up one wall of the room and wiping it off with a rag I found in a closet, which I rinsed in the shower, standing right in front of him and causing him to blush furiously.  “Well?” I asked him, grinning freely now.  This part was fun, anyway.  He really was kind of scrawny, but not that bad looking, really.

“I, I’m a recruit from La Grange,” he said, eventually.

“La Grange?” I asked him, “did you induct there?  Is there a station?”

“Umm, no.  In Victoria.  I work in Victoria.  It was a bit of a bus ride, but a decent job, money wise, a half gram a day, which isn’t bad for right out of school.”

Well, that made sense; it explained why I got picked up.  Since I lived in Hallettsville and he lived in La Grange, we would have been in the same cull database.  “And you just decided, in your eleventh month, to induct? Why go through all of that tension?”

“I, um, no.  I have been out of finishing school for almost a year now.”

I stopped.  “What? Why? I mean, you went all the way through school and then… why? Why not wait until you had a partenere and get double bonuses? Get her pregnant and get three times the bonus!”

“Oh, I dunno.  And you, you were culled?”

I flushed.  It seemed a silly question but I guess, theoretically, I could have been a recruit too.  I didn’t know how they worked that. ^[1] “Yes.  I was planning on, well, never mind that.  But how did you know?”

“Your outfit.  Culls wear red, and those who came as partners for a widow or widower wear white.  Life recruits, like me, wear blue, and temps wear green.”

“Both kinds?”

“Yes, five years and ten years both wear green.  They told me about that in that video we had to watch in the center.”

“Video?”

“Didn’t you have a video? It was so annoying.  I came into the center, they asked me a bunch of questions, did a quick medical exam, and then I had to sit and wait like three hours before a van came to get me.  Me, and the others that came in, we just sat there and watched this interminable video.  But you didn’t have that?”

I blushed, thinking about what had happened to me.  “No, no, I guess we didn’t have time.”

“Do you, do you have any siblings?” he asked, breaking into my thoughts.

“Oh, yes,” I said.  “But, did you have some lady… or guy show you some video and… and give you a lecture?” I asked, “When you got on board ship?”

“Oh, yeah,” he said, his face lighting up.  “He was a really nice guy, he and his partner.  From Hallycone.  He welcomed us to the ship, told us all about it.  He talked a lot about partnering, and answered a lot of questions.  Then he showed us this video, and then we got assigned to our quarters.  It was odd, for me, since I was the only one there unpartnered, and I had to wait until everyone else was assigned before he talked to me, and told me about you… not your name and all since they couldn’t be totally sure you hadn’t partnered.  I just found out about that last night, my time.  Then he and his partenere walked me to my room, and showed me around.  It was mid day for our shift so, after looking at it, he walked me down to the training room and I started training right away.”

Well, that was certainly different than what had happened to me! And all because I was a ‘cull’, no doubt, a second class citizen.

“What did you study in school?” I asked, trying to get my mind out of ‘poor pitiful me’ mode.

“Art!” He laughed.  “Oh, yeah.  I’m an artist, or I was hoping to be.  I was hoping to do graphic design or something like that.”

“Wow, that’s kind of a hard field.”

“Yeah, not much call for that kind of thing in New Texas.  That’s why I was working as a delivery driver for some farms in our area.  I even thought of going off-planet, sometimes, but you know how hard that is to arrange.”

He smiled at me.  “I’d love to draw you.  When we get some time, I mean.”

“Oh.  Well.” I guess I blushed a bit at that.

“What about you?” he asked, “What did you want to do?” he asked me.

He shouldn’t have asked that – not if he didn’t want to hear me go on and on.  I’d always fancied myself as a sort of artist, too, but of a literary style.  I’d written stories, and done plays, and… a career as a writer wasn’t all that easy to get, either, but I could have done it while home with my babies, at least once I’d established myself.  He was very patient, listening to me telling him all about my dreams.  I’d imagined myself giving video performances of plays I’d create, dramatic readings of books I was going to write.

I’d planned to find a partner late in my bachelor years, and then if it took me a few months to get pregnant, I could have had almost three years to become known as a writer.  Then people would be waiting eagerly for what I’d write even while raising my family.

My friend Jon had laughed when I’d told him, saying that it was harder than I thought, but Andrew didn’t laugh.  “If you do get a chance, I’d love to illustrate your books,” he said.

“Like I’ll get a chance to write, here,” I said, and his face fell.

“I’m sorry,” I said, reaching forward and patting him on the hand, “it was a nice thought, I’m just not totally reconciled to having been culled.  It was kind of a surprise, you know.”

“I suppose it was…,” he started to say, just as the computer up.  I stared at the screen:

Aliyah: Report to training room a18

Andrew: Report to training room a18

“Ah, same room?” I said.

“No, no, not exactly,” he said and led me out the door and down the hall.  There, at the end, I saw several other girls and boys, the girls vanishing into the right hand and the boys the left.  “You see?” he said, and I nodded and followed a couple of girls into ‘our’ doorway.

#

The door led to a room, about three by five meters, and I joined the line going in.  At the front of the room stood a slightly older woman, older than any of us I judged, who was also dramatically pregnant, and who wore the gray fleet uniform.  “Come, in, come in,” she was saying, “and line up facing that door,” she added, pointing to door to my right.

I got in line, trying to figure out what accent this lady had.  I was pretty sure it was Halycone.  “OK, OK, you will do this every morning, first thing,” the girl said, “until you are pregnant.  Line up, strip off and go into the med cabinet, one at a time of course.  Then when it lets you out, get into a suit over here, she said, pointing to the left side of the room, where a series of cabinets stood open.  Well! Get going.”

The first girls in line started reluctantly getting undressed.  I figured I had a couple of minutes and looked around the room.

It’s only real features were the door beside the crew, which was, well, a door… with a green light on top it; a closet at the other side of the room where another crew girl stood waiting; and a huge computer screen taking up one whole wall.  There was a spreadsheet of some kind on the wall and I was just starting to try to figure out what it was when I noticed the girl in front of me was practically naked.

I had just started taking my ‘shirt’ off, not wanting to go ‘too’ fast, when the door opened again, and three new girls walked in, talking busily.  I hurriedly covered myself but, but these new girls didn’t even glance at any of us.  They didn’t have their uniforms on, but were wearing their robes, which they immediately proceeded to take off and get in line, still talking animatedly to each other.

I reluctantly finished undressing and watched the girls in front of me, one after another, being ushered through the door, which no doubt was a med scan room.  Each girl would go in and then, second later, the door would pop open again, ready for the next girl.

The first girl, when she came out, had been directed across the room where the other crew lady helped her figure out how to get dressed.  I did my best to watch her with one eye, the new girls with the other, and try to not let anyone see how embarrassed I was.  Finally, to my relief, I was able to enter the booth.

I didn’t get at all sleepy this time, but I did get warm.  Seconds later, too quickly for my modesty, the door opened again and the girl behind me stood impatiently waiting for me to get out.

Two of the girls before me were ‘gone’ when I got to the suits.  In their place were two black-coated girl-shaped suits with helmets on hanging from the ceiling, being moved along a track into what I had taken for a closet.  They seemed as if they were standing, which looked weird in midair, and one of the shapes suddenly scratched herself, at her hip, just as she went through the doorway… which looked even weirder.

I stood there awkwardly while the crew lady waited for two more girls to join me.  “I will teach the three of you at once,” she said, once the third girl had arrived.  “You all, find your suit and listen.  These are not hard,” she said as I fumbled through the hanging suits for one with my name on it, “they are just very tight.  They fit you exactly.  At first you will think you can’t get in it,” she said, helping one girl’s suit up her leg, “but, after a few days, you will wonder why you had any problems.”

“OK, you three,” she said to three new, naked, girls, who stood blushing and holding themselves awkwardly, as the girls with me pulled our suits on, “find your suits and let me help you get them on.  That’s right, girls,” she said to my group, “now pull the helmet on and attach it with those straps.”

I felt much better now that this suit covered my body, and worked on my helmet slowly, watching the very embarrassed group around me grow larger and larger.  A couple of girls pushed past me, totally casually, and grabbed suits from the ‘closet’, pulling them on easily, and being pulled up the ceiling.  I had almost never been naked in front of anyone outside my family or girlfriends since I was in diapers, and I was shocked by this casual nudity.  I was sure the door had opened several times while I had stood there (I hadn’t looked, of course!) and I knew the boys door was right outside there.  I guess I had to hope they hadn’t looked.