01 I Love Nothing So Much…

<- Von’s version

[1] In all of Shakespeare’s plays, the role I’d always wanted to play was Beatrice, in Much Ado About Nothing. She’s witty and beautiful and her own woman, although she has a wonderfully equal relationship with Benedick – and despite their constant bickering, finds herself  in love with him.

[2] I’m not saying that I’m looking for a Benedick of my own – not yet, anyway. I’ve had offers, but I’m not ready to tie myself to a partner and babies. Sure, the Cull is a danger, but the odds were in my favor: if I could get safely past the next month, I’d have two solid years to start to accomplish something with my life before people would expect me to start breeding.

[3] So I’d turned down the boys. Even if I had been ready, none was what I’d been willing to take. Two had wanted to be colonists and a third had lacked any ambition. Now many of the boys seem almost to be afraid of me. It was foolish of them, of course. My tongue might be a bit sharp, but only when it was deserved. Besides, if the right one did come along…

[4] So there was no need for Jon, who was playing Benedick opposite me in drama class, to be quite so disdainful when we he spoke his lines in act one. I had just said that I wouldn’t want a man to love me and he retorted, “God keep your ladyship still in that mind! So some gentleman or other shall ‘scape a predestinate scratched face.” It wasn’t my fault that he’d boasted in front of his friends of his deep knowledge of the War and that I’d had to correct him. And it wasn’t as if I’d insulted or mocked him; I’d merely pointed out the truth.

[5] I couldn’t really complain, though – his delivery was a possible interpretation for his character, and he did manage to sound perfectly sincere when he told me, in our scene three acts later, “I do love nothing in the world so well as you. Is that not strange?” To my surprise,  I found myself trying hard to pretend that he meant it.

[6] I looked into his soulful blue eyes and started to give him Beatrice’s response, “As strange as the thing I know not. It were as possible for me to say I loved nothing so well as you–” when the girl playing Margaret shouted from her seat by the window, “The Cull!”

[7] I saw Jon’s eyes widen in shock, and I could hardly blame him for breaking character, as he gasped, “But it’s Wednesday!”

[8] It was a stupid thing to say, which just showed how shaken he was. Sure, the Cull usually came on Mondays – but middle-of-the-week wasn’t unheard of. Why, there had been a Tuesday Cull at our school just eight weeks ago.

[9] Like most girls, I was used to dreading coming to school on Mondays lest I be taken. It didn’t do any good to stay home “sick” of course. The genetic records, interviews and tests had already helped them decide who was wanted, and if it was you, and you didn’t have a partner, they would find you whether you were in school or at home. Still, they could come on any day – even today. Oh, sure, it was an honor to be a Cull. Everybody said so. I just didn’t know too many people who wanted to be honored quite like that.

[10] “Continue the scene,” our drama teacher ordered us. “There are plenty of other classrooms for them to come to.”

[11]That was true, but exactly how was I supposed to keep the mood? I said, “b-but believe not, I mean, believe me not, and yet… and yet…” the lines were there, but it was hard to remember them. “And yet I lie not…” I could see the panic in Jon’s eyes; occasionally they did come for boys, after all. I tried to decide if I would have the courage to save him by claiming we were partners if they did call his name. Could I admit how I felt? And would he even agree to partner just like that, if I did?  ‘Shotgun’ partnerships like that were perfectly legal, but that didn’t stop the jokes. “I confess nothing, nor I deny nothing – I am sorry…” I managed to choke out the last few words, “for my cousin” and it was his turn again. Then the two of us were stumbling through our lines, trying to count the seconds.

[12] We all knew exactly how long it took them to reach the second floor, if they were coming to the second floor. If we didn’t hear the door at the top of the steps open then, we’d be OK. We could relax. We’d be safe.

[13] But no. The door from the stairway opened right on time and I heard the class-wide intake of breath. Of course, we weren’t the only classroom on this floor. We’d already lost two girls and a boy this month;  surely their target would be from a different class this time…?

[14] My ears strained to hear every footstep; had they paused at the classroom down the hall? They came closer, and closer, and now Jon faltered on his line and the room fell silent with fear and then, painfully loud in the silence, the door flew open and I saw them.

[15] There were two of them, of course. First the Reader, easily identified by the crisp blue jacket gleaming with silver buttons; a jacket so tight and knife-edge creased that even if he were of a wont to bend to be merciful, he probably couldn’t. He held his wrist-comp so that none of us could see the name of the poor unfortunate for whom he had come.

[16] Behind him stalked the Binder, whose uniform differed only in being loose enough to allow him to lay hands on his victim, but it was what lay in his hands that drew our attention. We knew perfectly well what it was, and what its purpose. That left only the one question: who?

[17] The Reader cleared his throat. There was no need for him to make that sound to draw our attention. He had it; he had it in spades. Then he spoke. We’d heard the words before; we were just waiting for the name. “In the name of the Government of New Texas, and in accordance with…” It was just noise, just the formality. What mattered was the name. But how could anyone hear it over the pounding of my heart?

[18] Then he paused, and uttered the words I had feared. “Aliya Brendon…” I almost fainted. I knew the rest of his speech; everyone knew this speech. Hundreds of videos had this speech in their beginning, as some hero was chosen, culled: “Aliya Brendon, you have been chosen, for the good of the nation, to serve as our representative in the war against the alien Bnentarri…”

[19] He stopped and the Binder started walking toward me. My eyes sought Jon’s. He could save me! He could claim me as his partner now! He turned away, wouldn’t meet my eyes. I looked frantically around the room. Someone, anyone, please… but all the boys had their eyes focused on the ground, at the teacher, at the reader, anywhere but at me.

[20] Then I felt it. The Binder had taken my hand, held it up, and now cold metal pressed against my wrist. And then I heard a loud snap and, finally, forced myself to look down at my wrist, now encircled by the bright yellow wristband of a cull, an involuntary recruit.

[20] I had always scorned those girls who broke down and screamed; screams you could hear even from downstairs. I had always told myself that, if it happened to me, I would not break down, I would not scream. But I failed, miserably. When the band closed around my wrist, when I looked down and saw the finality of that awful yellow band, I let out a cry I am sure they could hear in the next building, let alone downstairs, “But why? Why me?”

[21] He didn’t answer, of course. They never do. The truth would be… I didn’t want to think about it. I had to think about it. It was all I could think of – the rest of me was just numb. “Good bye!” my friend Marcy said, rising to her feet with the rest of the class in the traditional salute. “Serve well,” Jon said, finally looking at me. “Breed well!” another boy said, in a crude comment that I knew would earn him a whipping by the teacher once I was gone. It would be my job to breed well, but it was considered very crass to speak of it now.

[22] The hallway was filled with boys and girls for the salute. Supposedly they were honoring me but here, at least, they were mostly congratulating themselves that it wasn’t them that was chosen. That had always been my reaction, anyway, until today. ‘God bless you on your trip’ coming loudly out my mouth while ‘Thank God it wasn’t me’ echoed through my heart.

[23] Much of the rest was a blur. I remember getting into the van, the standard cull van. We didn’t pick anyone else up, so I bounced around the back alone as we drove to Victoria, the nearest shuttle base. I spent every one of the forty-five minutes it took us to get there, dreading what I would find. It was my fate to be partnered, of course, probably with some criminal. Some monster.

[24] What a fool I’d been! Why hadn’t I accepted Toby? Was having a plumber as a partner worse than this? Or I could have pushed myself on Jon. I spent much of the trip wishing so hard that I had. I wouldn’t be facing this now. Partnered with a thug, a criminal.

[25] I found myself in a room with two other girls, braceleted as I was, both of them sobbing bitterly. They must have captured an entire gang of scumbags and we were to be the sacrificial offerings. Virgin sacrifices, like some pagan… leave off, Aliya, I chided myself. It’s bad enough as it is. No sense working yourself up even more. The room was stark. Two solid-looking doors and a couple of sterile benches within four plain white walls, unadorned except for what looked like a cashier’s window, and beside it a small hole, about 4” in diameter. I stared at that hole. I didn’t want to watch the girls crying; it was all I could do to keep from crying myself.

[26] The woman on the other side of the window finished up some business with her computer and called out, “Next” and one of the girls moved tentatively toward her. “Faster!” snapped the woman. “The shuttle’s waiting!” The girl flinched, but hastened to the window. “Take off all of your clothes and hand them to me.” I was shocked; the television shows had never mentioned that part! I looked away, not wanting to shame the poor girl by seeing her humiliation.

[27] I almost missed what happened next. After a brief conversation, a light behind me flashed and I turned to see the  girl withdrawing her wrist, now as naked as the rest of her, from the hole. The door opposite to the entrance door opened, and the girl, now beyond tears, strode through.

[28] The last remaining girl and I looked at one another. The woman seemed to be taking her time. “We were going to be partners,” the other girl told me, now just sniffling “We’d promised each other.”

[29]Why are you telling me this? I thought. Dont you know I have my own problems? “I’d had three offers,” I admitted. “But two of the boys wanted us to join up together, so I said no.”

[30] “But we’d agreed,” she insisted, ignoring me. “I shouldn’t be here. I told them! He promised me!” I don’t know whom she was trying to convince – herself, maybe. But nobody was going to spare us. Not now.

[31] “Next,” called the voice from the window. To my surprise, the girl gave me a hug and a brave smile before getting up and walking to her fate.

[32] I shook my head. Stupid girl, I thought. Promises don’t mean anything. If a boy agrees to be your partner, you registered and slept with him right away. That was your only sure safety from the cull. Then I was alone, waiting for my own summons.

[33] I flinched when it came, but took a breath and marched to the window. “Take off all of your clothes and hand them to me,” the woman said.

[34] I was just removing my bra when the entrance door opened and I froze. Covering myself, I turned my head to see a female guard practically dragging in a hysterical girl. Weakling, I thought. At least Im keeping some dignity. I straightened, slightly. Still, I waited until the guard left to finish stripping.

[35] “To whom do you want your exemption to go?” the woman asked. Why couldn’t she have asked that before I was naked?

[36] I didn’t say that aloud. “My oldest sister, Ma’am,” I answered, forcing myself to be polite. “Jill Brendon, Ma’am, Hallettsville, Texas.” Jill was in the class below me, and this would give her a tension free final year. She was a good sister. I hoped she’d miss me. I hoped they all would.

[37] “And your bonus?”

[38] “My parents, please.”

[39] “Place your wrist in the hole and wait until the light flashes. Then exit through the door to your left.”

 

[40] The light flashed, I felt the familiar warmth of a DNA scanner and heard a click. Then I pulled out my wrist, and covering my total nudity with my hands as best I could, walked through the door.

[41] The next room shocked me. It was noticeably warmer than the one I had just left, and the walls were covered with long vertical cylinders, many of which shone with a comforting light. There was no sign of the girl who had preceded me, only a hard-eyed matron in a grey coverall with a baby strapped to her back.

[41b] “Over here, dear,” she said in a voice that sounded almost kind. It would have been kinder if she’d averted her eyes, but my nudity didn’t seem to bother her. Clearly she wasn’t from New Texas, but her accent was vaguely familiar. She was standing next to one of the unlit cylinders, and as I walked toward her, trying to keep my crotch and both breasts covered, she touched something on the wall and the cylinder rotated open. “In here,” she said.

[41d] “What?” I whimpered. “Can’t I just get dr–”

[41f] “No,” she said, firmly. “Get in.”

[41h] “But…” I bit my lip and started to walk in, shifting my hand to cover my naked rear. The inside of the cylinder was padded, with strange machinery near the top.

[41j] “Facing me,” she murmured, patiently. I hesitated and then turned slowly, shifting my hand around to cover my front again. “Now back in. Further.” I backed up until I felt the padding touch my backside.

[41l] “I was so close–” I whined, but she cut me off.

[41n] “Not even a little,” she said and then the cylinder closed, leaving me alone in the dark, wondering what she meant.

[41p] It couldn’t have been more than a moment before it opened again, but I was suddenly weak-kneed and I had to hold on to the sides of the cylinder to keep from falling. Across the room from me, I saw several girls doing the same thing, shaking their heads and clutching the sides of their own cylinders, their nudity temporarily ignored.

[41r] “Get dressed and line up,” snapped a voice and I looked around eagerly for the promised clothing. Lines were beginning to form in the corners and I headed for the nearest, shaking my head to clear it. We were all trying to cover ourselves with our hands, but with people on all sides, I could have used a couple extra.

[41t] When I reached the front of the line, a different gray-suited girl, visibly pregnant, looked me over with insulting care. “Medium,” she stated, and handed me a folded red uniform.

[41v] As I moved to an empty spot and struggled into it, the girl who had hugged me earlier appeared next to me. “I was afraid they were going to keep us naked the whole time,” she whispered and I nodded in agreement.

[41x] “Hurry up,” the first voice said, and this time I saw it was the woman with the baby, only she was now tapping her foot impatiently, so we hurried. It wasn’t long before there were dozens of us girls, now safely clothed, standing at what we hoped was attention. The woman did not look particularly impressed.

[41z] “Well, culls,” she said. “Welcome to the colonization force. It’s about time you did something worthwhile with your lives.” She cut off our protests. “Shut up! You were culled for anti-social behavior. You’ve all seen the news reports. You know about the War. You know how badly we need children, and what did you do? Pampered yourselves in additional and useless classes. Refused to breed. Wasted years when you could have been working to help the war effort. The enemy has us badly outnumbered, and we need every man and woman to do their part.

[42] “Now you’re going to get your chance. As of now, you are part of the CF, and most of you will probably become colonists. As such, your first duty will be survival in primitive conditions. Your second duty – and this applies to all of you – is to reproduce. You will be expected to sleep with and bear children for your assigned partners. They may be criminal scum, but they are better than you deserve. And that means sex, a subject on which you New Texans are notably ignorant. Your Gruden’s barely scratches the surface. Well, I’m going to remedy that deficiency now.” And she began to go into details.

[42b] Several of us, myself included, gasped. You just didn’t talk about it – not with strangers, at any rate. It wasn’t done. My ears turned red as I remembered finding a book on my bed when I turned twelve. Gruden’s Guide to Partnerships. My girlfriends had received the same book, and we used to giggle together over its contents. It was remarkably euphemistic in its descriptions, and related things in spiritual terms, but some of its advice sounded as though it would be useful. If we just understand what it was describing. If we could believe that people would actually do things like that.

[42d] I got some more information when some of my friends actually partnered. For one thing, it turned out that boys got the same book. So all that time, the boys in school had probably been looking at us and thinking those thoughts, all without our knowing. Then, too, my partnered friends explained that they had figured out what the book had been talking about, but refused to elaborate. “You’ll figure it out,” they promised. But they wouldn’t explain.

[42f] The gray woman had no hesitation. She explained. And explained. None of us girls dared to look at one another, but I knew they all had to be as red-faced as I was. It made it worse that she refused to use euphemisms. She named all the parts and quizzed us. We had to stammer out words that we had barely dared think about.

[42h] Finally, she stopped. “That was lesson one. Lesson two comes when you meet your partners. Line up at the windows to get your assignments!”

[42j] This was going to be even worse. Not every one in the CF was a criminal, of course. You could choose a partner and enlist together. But culls didn’t get that choice. We were there to be mates to the criminals who had been forcibly inducted. Not murderers or rapists, thank goodness. Those were summarily executed. But there was still a pretty good range of behavior that got people tossed into jail and then into the CF.

[42l] I got into line behind my new friend. “So, a real live Newtonian,” she commented. She really does sound sort of like that Tri-V character, doesn’t she? Darna Isaacs?”

[42n] Of course. That’s why the accent had sounded familiar. I snuck a glance at the gray woman. Newtonians spoke with sharp vowels and bitten-off consonants. The actress who had portrayed Darna Isaacs had played her as barely feeling any emotion. If that was typical for Newtonians, no wonder this one had had no trouble about speaking about so intimate a subject in public!

[42p] “Fraud.” I looked up. The voice had come from one of the windows.

[45] I snapped to attention. “Fraud”? They were announcing our partners’ crimes! “Breaking and entering.” “Robbery.” I shuddered, terrified of what my assigned partner might have done.

[46] Then the girl behind one of the windows announced a name, and my head snapped up, for her voice and her entire demeanor had changed. “Jessica Clarkson, you are assigned as the replacement partnère for Daniel Huddleton. Officer Huddleton is a third rank soldier. His partnère and one of his children were killed in combat. You will find him and his remaining children in chamber B27, stripe red yellow red. Congratulations,” she added, standing up and saluting Jessica, who looked shocked, and wandered off, followed by envious glances from the rest of us. An officer?

[47] But that assignment seemed to be the exception. I listened nervously as I waited in line at a window. “Embezzlement.” “Forgery.” “Extortion.” “Assault.” Several of us looked pitifully at the girl who’d just gotten that news.

[48] Then it was my turn. Heart pounding, I put my hand in the scanner and the girl read from a screen, “Aliya Brendon, you are assigned as partnère to Andrew Tome, convicted of Reckless Endangerment. Cubicle A18B. Follow the red-green-red stripe until you get to corridor A18, then room B.”

[49] Reckless Endangerment? That could mean almost anything. “Out that door. Stripe red-green-red.”

[50] Dazed, I wandered in the direction she had pointed. Reckless Endangerment. That could be bad. Surely in a primitive colonial environment, I would need a partner who wasn’t reckless? He could get us both killed. I wondered exactly what he might have done.

[51] The floor was covered with dozens of lines, and indeed one of them was a pair of thin red lines bracketing a thin green one. I followed it down a hall, up a ladder, and into another hallway, clearly marked A18. While I hesitated over the door to room B, I heard a noise behind me and saw the girl who’d hugged me come up the ladder I had just climbed and give me a nervous grin. Well, at least I had sort of a friend living near me.

[52] I stared at the door, puzzling how to open it. There was no knob or handle, but there was a large square next to the door. I reached out to push it, but as soon as my hand lay flat against it, it flashed green and the door opened with an audible click.

<- Von’s version

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About Von

Von is a father of six, husband of one, former missionary linguist, former school teacher, and current LVN and EMT. He lives with his family on a very small farm-ish-thing in Texas with a calf (named ‘Chuck’, if you get the point), ducks, chickens, rabbits, dogs, cats, two piglets, pecan trees and a garden. Vaughn loves to write; science fiction, fantasy, theology… Von’s religion informs his writing in many ways; so you might want to know that Von is a Reformed Baptist, Theonomist, Full Quiver, Homeschooler… and odd in many other ways.

4 thoughts on “01 I Love Nothing So Much…

  1. Von Post author

    [8] As the school only lasts a year, eight months is forever. Perhaps ‘They had come on a Tuesday just last month’

    Reply
  2. Randy

    “I’m not ready to tie myself” Typical selfish kid, eh? Two years after graduation is normal for marriage, apparently?

    “afraid of me… My tongue might be a bit sharp” So she’s not a stunning beauty that would make the boys would fight over her, or at least tolerate her sharp tongue to get partnered with. But she has had offers, so not ugly, either.

    “I found myself trying hard to pretend that he meant it.” So it’s not that she’s not interested in boys.

    “The genetic records, interviews and tests” So there’s some science behind the choosing who to cull. I suspect there’s a lot of politics, meaning leeway for bureaucrats to choose who goes, giving them intimidating power, but that’s all just supposition on my part, so far.

    “We all knew exactly how long it took them to reach if the second floor” delete ‘if’

    “class-wide intake of breath” excitement builds!

    “surely their target would be from a different class this time” Rationalization of the dominated class.

    “as some hero was chosen, culled” Cull is usually the bad stuff, but ‘hero’ has been euphemistically applied as propaganda, apparently. “for the good of the nation” yes, definitely propaganda.

    “war against the alien Bnentarri” Ah, so it’s war with aliens! This could be cool. Nothing too 1984-ish like eternal war between Oceania and Eastasia.

    “cull, an involuntary recruit” ah, the exact definition, thanks.

    “my job to breed well” icky!

    “the salute” You don’t go into detail, but my impression is Hitler’s Roman Salute.

    “Virgin sacrifices, like some pagan” That sounds accurate. Especially as she gets herself to shy away from the truth by chiding herself.

    “the television shows had never mentioned that part” I could like New Texas’ conservative, even shy, outlook, if not for the tyranny.

    “I told them! He promised me!” Hmmm, versus earlier: “‘Shotgun’ partnerships like that were perfectly legal.” Does this contradict that, or does it imply that the boy betrayed her and refused to collaborate her claim to partnership?

    “Why couldn’t she have asked that before I was naked” Because she’s a bureaucrat, doesn’t care how you feel, and enjoys having power over helpless people beneath her.

    “And your bonus?” No explanation yet for why the frontier doesn’t use money. At least I assume that’s why they get to take nothing, not even money or credit, with them. What do they use, then? Or is it just more oppression, that is, they take it all because then can?

    “It couldn’t have been more than a moment before it opened again, but I was suddenly weak-kneed” I’m imagining that possibly a long time has passed (a space journey). Pretty neat tech, if she didn’t feel the anesthesia at all, nor any time pass, nor acceleration. Requiring nakedness for the tech to work safely would be a possible explanation for it, but nudity seems to function as a complete subjugation technique socially, so a tech excuse would be just confusing.

    “woman with the baby” No noticeable aging of the baby? Not a terribly long journey, then? Or was the baby and all aging suspended, too?

    “culled for anti-social behavior” Oh really? Is that the justification? No indication of that at all beforehand, so it’s almost definitely a cover story to make the tyranny sound a little bit legitimate.

    “how badly we need children” War as a use for children? That’s harsh.

    “useless classes. Refused to breed” So education is wasting time that could be spent breeding for the State? Oh, joy. What a perspective on the value of a girl’s life.

    “you New Texans are notably ignorant. Your Gruden’s barely scratches the surface” More evidence that, absent war, I’d like New Texas.

    “related things in spiritual terms” Interesting. So is Gruden’s given by New Texas, and Religion is not separated from State, or is it a local custom that just happens to be pretty universal?

    “boys got the same book” Also interesting. Odd that there wouldn’t be specialized books for male and female, but awfully egalitarian of them.

    “We were there to be mates to the criminals who had been forcibly inducted” I guess the single volunteers were too rare to rate a mention? What about the male culls? They aren’t criminals (though treated as such), but should probably be possible mates for them, or are they only taken to match female criminals? (Again, female single volunteers being statistically negligible.)

    “real live Newtonian” Ah, the first non New-Texan people/location mentioned.

    “Officer Huddleton” Just speculating, but it sounds like he may have gotten to choose from among the culls. Perhaps he just got one randomly assigned, but as an officer, he might have had the privilege.

    “They were announcing our partners’ crimes” Oh, great. No names or locations or ages or occupation or other attributes, just known as their crimes. Or, as Aliya gets told Andrew’s name, it’s only the crime that stands out to her?

    “Reckless Endangerment” Not a typical crime, so she might get anyone, so possibly a nice guy, the guy we saw last chapter, no doubt.

    “at least I had sort of a friend living near me” Yay! A reprieve from total devastation.

    [Sorry for the dump, but it’s a longish chapter, filled with new stuff to react to.]

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