Author Archives: Von

About Von

Von is a father of six, husband of one, former missionary linguist, former school teacher, and current LVN and EMT. He lives with his family on a very small farm-ish-thing in Texas with a calf (named ‘Chuck’, if you get the point), ducks, chickens, rabbits, dogs, cats, two piglets, pecan trees and a garden. Vaughn loves to write; science fiction, fantasy, theology… Von’s religion informs his writing in many ways; so you might want to know that Von is a Reformed Baptist, Theonomist, Full Quiver, Homeschooler… and odd in many other ways.

13: Interlude

Chapter 13: Interlude

I stood staring at the screen, waiting for my roommate to come in. With these tiny cubicles, which opened onto the hallway, I hated to get undressed for my shower before there was no chance of the door openening. I wondered how Aliyah was doing. And my new partner, ‘Carl’. What were they doing, for that matter. Carl was a soldier, they’d made that clear. Or, at least, a son of a soldier. I don’t know if we could be assigned before we were successful partners. What if I was incompetent.

I didn’t know whether to be glad or sad for our diversion. Our little courier ship had been very busy, passing back and forth between the various ships, ferrying down supplies and all. They kept promising me, and the others like me, that ‘soon’ we would go back to where we were supposed to be, and deliver the letters, supplies, and new partners and partnéres.

My roommate was a partnére as well, assigned to a pathfinder! I couldn’t imagine being assigned to a pathfinder, but I supposed their partnéres must die, too, occasionally. We had gotten assigned this room together but spent most of our time training or working. I had even gotten to help fly shuttle missions… not the dangerous ones near the coast, but some boring resupply missions in the mountains. Not that I had been bored, of course, even as co-pilot.

How was Aliyah doing with her partner? I pitied the poor boy, at least at first. Aliyah had never really wanted to partner, turning down boys right and left, or so it had seemed. She had never come out and said anthing, but we shared a room, back home, and I had learned to read her. The first time she had come home glowing but determined, and I had almost expected her to announce that she had partnered. But when day after day went by without it, well, I had understood. She had been proud to be asked, and even prouder to have turned him down.

She and I weren’t at all alike in that. I wouldn’t have turned any boy down, I don’t think, unless he was truly horrible. True, I had kept YYY a bit hanging, but he had never actually asked.

The door opened and I saw Guestina come in, hurrying. “Sorry I’m late,” she said, as the door opened and she turned around so I could change and shower. “My sim ran long.”

“Oh, that’s OK,” I said, stepping gratefully into the hot water. “I had a kind of boring day anyway, so I won’t be able to get to sleep for a while. What did you sim about today…?”

12: Up again

 

Despite my words, coming back together in the ship was a bit of a shock. For one thing, I was now much more pregnant, which made me feel like I was standing out, and awkward. And my natural modesty had had a small chance to come back on the planet, where I spent most of my time with just Andrew, and some time with Carl’s family… but now I was back 24/7 surrounded by people. Even sleeping, which had become harder being pregnant, got harder with the noise, the movement, the babies crying and nursing… all of it.

But I loved it, everyone loved it, except poor Carl. I saw his eyes when they came in the shuttle for us, he looked at me and looked disappointed, almost angry. “She’s not there?” I asked him, guessing from his look.

“No. they say it will be another three months, at least. There was some kind of battle or something, and her flight was diverted to take new colonists to a new planet.” He brightened up, “She is coming, though, I mean, I got that. And it’s not like she was killed in the battle or anything, they weren’t anywhere near the battle. They just got diverted. I think there’s a message for you on the ship.”

There was, too. I made sure that I was private when I watched it. “Hey, Aliya,” Bethany said. I could tell that she was sitting in a room in a transport. “It seems you can’t make up your mind. First you give me an exemption and then you call me out on a special induction.” She sighed, “You made a boy back home very unhappy, I think. You remember Drenden? I think he was working up his courage to ask me to partner with him, which I’m sure I would have accepted after what happened to you in finishing school. That is, if you hadn’t given me an exception, which he didn’t know about. I might have accepted him anyway, he was a nice boy, and you know I want to partner early and start having kids; unlike you, my brilliant if anti-social sister.” She grinned.

“I can’t figure out if I am mad at you or thrilled. Obviously this is a nice boy and all, or you wouldn’t have done it. And we were all exstatic when the news reached us that you had been assigned a pathfinder unit. No one, quite frankly, could believe it. We were forbidden from telling anyone, too, which made it freaky. Can you imagine, all my girl friends asking me, “how’s your sister” and my having to say, “oh, she’s fine, colonizing some boring planet somewhere. That’s what they told us we had to say, you know. In a couple years we will be able to tell them that you are then a pathfinder but.”

“But I had just gotten up my hopes for a sort of normal life when the military arrived. You should have seen it. The kids and all the neighbors were absolutely freaked, and mother was sure that it meant you were dead, even tho it was totally the wrong kind of military. I was actually at Jenny’s house, you remember Jenny, and the kids came belting over for me. Jenny offered to hide me and smuggle me over to Jenners, but I just couldn’t. I mean, a special induction… not a prisoner, not a regular recruit… someone important, or so I thought.”

There was a long pause, “Which he is, I suppose. Being part of your unit and all, even if I will be his first partnére. Well, I’ll see you soon, I doubt this message will get to you much before I will myself, you might even get it after we have partnered. Wouldn’t that be a joke!”

The joke was on her, I thought, thinking of how frustrated she must be going off to that colony instead of coming straight here. She would get a lot of training in, anyway.

Our next stop was only a month away, so I only barely got partially used to living together again when it was time to land on our next planet. We were all awake together, and standing watching a screen. If there was anything that could be more different from our last planet, this was it.

“It’s a jungle, ladies and gentlemen, YYY said, “from coast to coast on this mainland it is one solid jungle. Similar to large parts of South America, back on Earth, this entire mainland only rises, at its highest point, three hundred feet above sea level. The rain here is almost constant, so basically everything is wet, all the time.”

“I don’t  understand the reasoning,” Grant said. “How can we possibly settle here? It seems to me that the aliens can settle that entire jungle.”

“they can, and they can’t,” YYY said. “There is almost no metal on this planet, and there is almost no real areable land. Everywhere on the plant floods. So while they can live everywhere, their actual adult settlements are few and far between and not very successful. We are going to land and see if we can be more successful with our ability to work together as a group.”

The boys all discussed this for a good amount of time, but I, and I think most of the women and children, all just stared at the screen, at the jungle rolling out underneath the screen. It was a fascinating jungle, with enormous trees, and in incredible amount of vines. The livestock was incredible as well. Just in our little fly over I saw about a dozen different types of lizard like squirrel things. And in the water below there were hundreds of crocodiles, or the local equivelant.

“So we’ll be settling where, exactly?” Grant asked, and YYY turned the film off, put the map back on, and showed areas in red.

“These areas are reasonably far from any of the adult settlements we have been able to find. As you see the settlements will be in a circle, so that, when the colonists come, they will be able to enclose the circle against the Enemy, assuming we can figure out how to do that.”

“But how will we live?” someone else asked.

“Well, in a word, treehouses,” YYY said, and everyone laughed. “No, seriously. We have plans from several primitive groups back on earth for houses in trees, and we are going to be giving those to you, and each partnership can choose which type of house they would like to build.”

“What will the colonists eat?” I asked. We had our own food, of course, but we needed to set things up for the colonists that would come after us.

YYY looked almost embarrassed. “Well, there are a large number of fruits that are edible, and some vines that can be used as we would use vegetables. But mostly, well, meat: bugs and lizards.”

I flushed, and I was sure I wasn’t the only one. I had eaten lots of strange things, but most of them I hadn’t really know what it was. And I had eaten reptiles, of course. But these poor people would have to live on nothing but reptiles, lizards, for meat. And, of course, for the next few months, so would we!

“Come  love,” Andrew said, breaking into my reverie. “We need to choose our plan for our house.”

We looked them over and it didn’t take me long to decide on my favorite: a nice, light, airy house, all one room. Deciding how to cook was very awkward, but there was a kind of large bamboo that we could actually make a fire in, assuming we were careful. So we decided to put one of these in, literally, a hole in the very center of the room, in such a way that, if the bottom burnt through, the fire would just drop to the jungle floor… the soaking wet jungle floor.

“It’s going to be smoky!” I said. Always before, or almost always, even in the sims, I had managed to get at least a chimney. But that wouldn’t work here. I would have to keep the fire down or the house would be filled with smoke all day. Andrew probably wouldn’t care so much, but I would be stuck in the house pretty much all day.

“So, we’re ready to go?” Andrew asked, when I got done sketching a couple of cabinets and things. Very primitive cabinets.

“Yeah, sure,” I said.

“Great, I’ll tell the shuttle pilot.”

“See if we can go with Carl’s family, will you?”

“Sure.”

<emphasize dense jungle, rain, etc.>

It took us another twenty four hours before it came our turn to go down. And we did get to go with Carl and his family. And Carl was very excited. “It is cool, Adlephe,” he said. “We build the house from the slings! You’ll be the third I’ve gotten to help with!”

He wasn’t the only person to get to help, either. A half an hour after we got in the shuttle we were hovering over what seemed to be a spot of the jungle that looked like everywhere else. We had a dozen soldiers with  us, and they, along with Carl and his father, got out their sling  lines and began rappelling down.

Most of the soldiers went off into the nearby jungle to start cutting off various branches. Carl, his father, and Andrew, on the other hand, had long ropes on their shoulders and, going off to various nearby trees, began making a kind of web. Carl was actually best at it, scurrying along the ropes and branches, swinging wildly along with his sling propellant.

Soon they had a part of the web woven and I rappelled down. Andrew wouldn’t let me come down before. I stood, hesitantly, on the web and watched them work and then, as the soldiers started to bring up branches, I started to weave them into place, according to the plan. It was actually kind of fun.

“Wow,” I said, several hours later, looking at our house from where I stood, on what remained of the web, a few feet in front of our new house. It was tiny, of course, only about ten feet across. And rough, of course, as befitted a house put together with branches and vines in a day. But it was done, and it was ours, and I, quite frankly, was ready to get into it and lay down and go to sleep.

“Totally cool!” Carl said.

“Hopefully it will be dry inside,” Andrew said. True to form, it had been raining all day, although, luckily, just a light drizzle, almost light enough to ignore when you were working, but now that we were just standing here.

“Do you want to spend the night?” I asked Carl.

“Nah, I can’t,” he said. We have deliveries to make, tomorrow. We’ll deliver to you, what, third I think.

His father nodded, and then waved his hand, and the rappelling ropes pulled him and the others back up to the shuttle where, one by one, they grabbed handholds and pulled themselves inside. Carl was last and waved at us after he had climbed in.

“Come,” my love, Andrew said, as he took me by the waist as the shuttle roared off into the sky, “Let us enter our abode.”

I had started a fire earlier, and we both gratefully stripped off and towled ourselves dry in front of it. I laid down some blankets on the floor, more for protection against the roughness of the sticks than any need for warmth. In spite of the rain the temperature was much warmer than we kept the inside of the ship, and we hardly used covers there.

“Happy?” Andrew asked me, as we lay together, a half an hour or so later.

“Well, I can’t say I’m happy with the diet,” I said. “And I don’t know how I’m going to handle the  humidity. But the rain on the roof is kind of nice.”

“Those leaves do make a wonderful sound, don’t they?” He asked me.

I took his hand, and laid  it on my stomach. “Really?” he asked.

“I think so, but I’m not sure,” I said. We had been waiting for movement and, so far, the couple times I had thought I had felt something, I hadn’t been able to get Andrew there in time to…

“I felt it!” he exclaimed and I lay back, content, his hand on my stomach, listened to the rain, and fell asleep.

“Wake up, love, the shuttle is coming,” Andrew said. I woke with a start, how long had I slept? I threw on my dress and ran outside. Sure enough, the shuttle was here and Andrew was there, dangling outside the shuttle.

“They must have started early,” Andrew said. Like me he was dressed in about the minimum  he could be, just a loose pair of shorts. I looked and the sun was hardly up. “Carl looks happy, getting to bring down the guide line.”

He did. He was grinning and, with his free hand, waving. We watched him as he got lower and lower, till he was about twenty feet above us.

Suddenly there was a bright flash from off to my right. I had no time to turn, however, because it moved from the right to directly above me… a bright streak that went directly into the shuttle, and was followed by a tremendous explosion from the inside of the shuttle.

I screamed but, before I could even really register what had happened, two things happened. The first was that the shuttle began to move, off to my right, erratically. The second, seconds later, was that Carl began to fall, his rapelling rope shooting out of the shuttle.

“Aaah,” Carl screamed, adding his voice to my voice and the high pitched roar of the shuttle. The motion of the shuttle was horribly worrying, but Carl, almost directly above us, took up all of my attention. The movement of the shuttle meant that he wasn’t falling directly downward but to my right, toward the house.

“Andrew!” I shouted, having no idea whatsoever what he could do. He moved, however, and my heart stood still. Down and down Carl plunged, seeming to take forever. And then, to my mixed horror and relief, he hit… hitting the house almost at its very top. I watched, trying to decide which way to move, as the house bent, and bent… and then snapped back into place, shooting Carl off the house and… directly into Andrews arms who, catching him, fell to the ground with him.

I had a few seconds release to watch the shuttle which, to my horror, continued to fly erratically off to my right, and downwards, until it hit a tree, spun wildly, and plunged to the jungle floor.

“Here!” Andrew said, shoving Carl into my arms and yelling into my face, “Take him and hit the panic button!”

I looked, dazedly, into my arms and saw that Carl was truly in a bad way. He was unconscious and his right arm hung at a horrible angle. His clothes were ripped in several places, and he was all over blood. My medical training kicked in and I raced into the house with him, putting him on the blankets that I had so recently, and so happily, quitted. Then I raced to the locker and pulled out the emergency communicator, pushing the emergency button, designed for just this sort of situation.

Then I got out my medical kit and went over to Carl. In seconds I had his clothes off and was examining him. He had three deep puncture wounds and had  lost a lot of blood. Two them needed only a quick application of anti-bleed, but the third needed a quick surgical intervention to pull out a three inch long splinter, about an inch wide, from out of his thigh.

The sky overhead filled with noise, first the roaring of a combat shuttle, and then some deep crumping sounds. All around me I heard the snapping and crash of trees and parts of trees crashing down. I put all of that out of my mind, and went back to my surgery.

It took me a half an hour to stop all of the bleeding, and I had to give him three separate boluses of fluids to keep his blood pressure up.

“Come on, Carl, come back to me,” I kept mumbling. His pulse eventually came down, and his blood pressure stayed up. His face was strained so I gave him a dose of pain-down, and forget-me… two pain drugs that worked very well together, the one slowing the transmission of pain, and the other basically making the brain not care.

I had some time so I got out a rag, and water, and began washing him off, looking for other punctures and contusions and the like. The wand had showed me considerable brusing along the lungs, but nothing that looked like it would cause bleeding there, but I kept looking back every few minutes.

Finally I had him completely evaluated and began a replacement bolus. I hoped I had enough for any other patients they brought me. I hoped, desperately that there would be other patients.

After an hour or so I couldn’t stand the suspense and went outside. The shuttle noise had calmed down, at least as far as the weapons. The roar of the engines were still there and, the second I came out, a combat repel hole opened and a soldier came down a fast-rappel line. “Are you OK, ma’am?” he asked me, hitting the ground and bouncing slightly.

“I’m fine,” I said. “The shuttle crashed over there, and my partner went down to find out if they are all right. What happened?”

“We’re still working on that, ma’am. He glanced at my hands, “Are you sure your OK?”

I looked down at the blood and said, “I’m fine. Their son, Carl, he was injured in the accident.”

“It wasn’t an accident, ma’am,” he contradicted. “Do we need to evac the boy?”

“No, the young man will be fine here, I think, at least until we get his parents up.”

“We have sent several soldiers down to the crash site, ma’am, we should have news soon.”

“Thank you,” I said, and went back in the house, while he stood, scanning the jungle warily, his rifle in hand.

“They’re coming up, ma’am,” he said, “and they have a patient.”

A patient? I prayed that there would be more than that and rushed outside, peering over the balcony.

“It’s Julina!” Andrew yelled at me, from forty feet or so below me. He was coming up the line rapidly, obviously with a line shuttle, and he had a pack on his back.

“How is she?” I asked, as he made it the last few feet and I helped him over the edge.

“We gave her a shot of calm,” he said. “I think she’s just badly bruised, but there might be a break somewhere, especially in the ribs.”

I took her into the hut and, opening the pack slowly, I laid her besides Carl. They had field stripped her, of course, and cleaned her. I ran my wand over her. Sure enough she had a broken rib, not a bad one though. And she was badly bruised.

I examined her head carefully. My little wand was not the best for finding head bleeds, but I didn’t see any, and she didn’t have any symptoms of a head injury. I moved down the kidneys, and the suddenly became aware of my partner, watching me with worried eyes.

“Where are the rest of them?” I asked, scanning the kidneys. I heard nothing, looked up, and saw the answer in his eyes. “All of them?” I screamed, “They’re all dead?”

He came and hugged me, holding me until, guilty, I went back to my scanning. The left kidney showed a small amount of damage. “How?!” I asked, pleaded, “What happened?”

“We have no idea how they did it, but somehow the enemy managed to get an eplosive device into the shuttle. It killed everyone instantly,” he said. To this day I think he lied to me, but, if so, it was a lie out of kindness. “Everyone except Carl, who was outside, and Julina, who was in the bathroom. As she ship went down she must have been banged about rather badly.”

I spent the next hour watching over them, adding medication lightly to their dose to keep them under while they healed, and crying. Andrew stayed with me off and on, and went outside the rest of the time. They were all dead?

The noise of the shuttle, which had been fairly dull, now opened up so I could hardly hear myself think. “What are they doing?!” I asked Andrew, when he came in a few minutes into the noise.

“Pulling the other shuttle out of there,” he said. “It was so wedged in that they couldn’t run it.”

“It would run?” I asked, incredulously.

“Oh, yes, they’re incredibly tough. If they hadn’t had the door open to let the explosive in, it wouldn’t have done anything at all. But the explosive killed the people, so the shuttle, which was on manual, crashed into the trees, and then the autopilot tried to move it, and couldn’t, so it shut down and locked down, as they are supposed to do.

The noise changed just after he said, that, and we heard one shuttle leave and the other come hovering over. I didn’t want to be bothered with the shuttle, and stayed with my patients. A few seconds later the colonel, himself, came into our hut with Andrew. “How are they?” he asked, coming right to the issue.

“Not great,” I said.

“Will they be OK staying with you?” he asked.

“Yes, they should be fine, but I will need a restock of my medical supplies.

“That’s no problem, the boys are bringing down a full restock of everything, the stuff that was on Carl’s shuttle, your regular supply. So you’ll be OK with them?” he asked, looking at Andrew as well.

“Yes, Sir,” Andrew said.

“Well, good. You two are their closest family. Let us know if you need any special help. We are going to make some changes to our shuttle procedures, I can tell you that!” he finished, and stomped out.

I looked at Andrew, only now realizing what we had agreed to. “That’s OK, isn’t it?” I asked him.

“Of course,” he said. “They’re family, after all.”

 

11: Are we there yet?

Are we there yet?

Day 360, evening

The soldier ship, when it came, brought us no news, no letters, as it had come from the front. But the crew told us that, when we got to the enormous station that served this entire area of the front, and where we would all be disembarking, we would get letters from home; brought by courier ships that constantly flew back and forth. And were all dismissed from training to get our letters. It was awkward because, of course, there were several people in each room, but the computer speakers could focus very tightly, as could the picture on the screen, so it was only the partners talking together that we would have to be careful about.

But nothing on earth could have stopped me from crying out when the screen lit up and I saw my mother sitting, along with my father and Andrew’s parents. The look on her face was such that I knew some catastrophe had happened. “Dear,” Mother said, and broke down. “I…” she tried again, and broke down, looking helplessly at my father, who stepped forward.

“I suppose you have already heard of the attack on New Texas… the invasion.” I was crying freely now, and missed the next few words… “I suppose Andrew is with you, and we have very bad news. We were together, the two families, during the attack. We have been doing more and more together, and we were at this resteraunt. We were sitting at a table near the window. You understand, there was no warning at all. Anyway, one of the meteors took out a building a block or so away and…” he stopped as Mother’s crying got louder. Andrew’s parents were sitting stone faced behind her. “…and Susan was killed, along with two of Andrew’s brothers, James and Jon.”

Andrew let out a cry himself. I would have worried about the other two couples, but they were just as obviously grief stricken and taken up with their own letters. He reached forward and paused the letter, and we hugged for a while. Then he turned it back on…

There were actually three separate attacks. It was totally unlike anything the aliens had ever done before. The first attack was the one that killed your siblings. They vectored in several small meteoroids toward a dozen or so cities on the coast. Our population is rather dispersed, so the actual damage from these was light, but the casualties were, for us, horrendous.

The second attack was on the space fleet. This was much less successful, as the fleet was, of course, always looking out for such a thing and able to defend itself, unlike the cities. The two sides gave as good as they got, if I understand, with one ship killed on each side.

That second attack was just a cover for the third one, however. Several large colony ships ‘snuck’ down to the surface and dumped their loads into the oceans; with dozens of shuttles from each one landing in the ocean and, basically, sinking with their load. From the couple of the shuttles we managed to destroy before they landed we estimate several thousand Juvies or packs were landed, along with whatever adults were piloting the shuttles.

The end result is that we are now an occupied planet. Your group will be one of the last we will send to the war. Indeed their was a group just about to leave, which thankfully was spared in the attack, which turned around and re-landed their inductees.

We are all praying for you, of course…”

“Kill them!” Mother broke in, in a harsh voice. “Kill them all!”

Father broke off at her interruption, not seeming to know how to go on and, after a few seconds, he just reached forward and ended the letter.

Andrew and I looked at each other, hugged, and then watched the rest of our letters. Some of them had been sent before the attack and were oddly incongruous. I kept thinking back to what Mother had said and, after we watched the last letter from his brother (not the one that was killed, luckily, I don’t think I could have handled that even though I didn’t know him) I turned to him. “Do you think we could become soldiers?” I asked.

He looked at me for a minute and then said, “I don’t think we need to. Our job as colonists is equally important. It isn’t like we won’t get to kill the enemy. Mostly Juvies and packs of course, but still. And every planet we colonize is another way for us to attack them.”

I knew all that, of course, but it was nice hearing it. It was actually our sleep shift so the other two families left right after they watched their letters, and Andrew and I fell asleep in each other’s arms (I mean, even more than usual) after I had cried for quite a while. It wasn’t too long before we had to get up and begin our morning routine. But then,

Day 361 morning

“What?” Andrew said, looking at our schedule. Every once in a while we had a slightly different assignement so we did make it a habit of looking each day. But today… “Shuttle bay Alpha? I thought we weren’t going over to the station till tomorrow.”

I joined him looking and, just then, JJJ and KKK walked in with a wailing LLL so, after Andrew gave one last look, we went off to the shuttle bay. “I guess they changed the schedule,” Andrew said, “But that is really weird. I saw the overall schedule yesterday and all of the colony ships will be picking people up tomorrow… soldiers, colonists, and even new ship handlers. Why on Earth do they want us here today?”

“I don’t know love, but I’m sure they’ll tell us.”

“But it will be a madhouse over there! Five thousand people all milling around on the space station. There isn’t room to house us overnight. I know, I’ve seen the specs.”

“Well, maybe it isn’t five thousand people,” I said. I don’t think I’d ever seen him this worked up. He hated things to be out of order… not that that was much of a problem for us, of course. With our little room there was hardly a way to get things out of order, and we each were careful to leave it nice for the others.

“But why do they need…” he stopped in mid-sentence as we came into the room. It was full of people, of course, but that wouldn’t have stopped him. They were all quiet themselves, which, of course made him shush instinctively. But what really shushed him was the site of three men, standing on top of a shuttle. Three men in green and black uniforms. Not the gray of the ship handlers, not the dull tan of colonists, not the very-colored green of soldiers… but the green and black of… “Pathfinders?!” Andrew whispered, shocked. “But I thought they recruited pathfinders from the soldiers!”

We walked, not that we had far to walk, to the edge of the group and stood still, waiting. I looked around. Almost all of our group was here… all three shifts! I saw Grant standing with Jane a little way off, a huge smile on his face and standing tall. Could it really be…?

“Greetings,” the head pathfinder, a colonel by his stripes, said, a couple of minutes later when the trickle of recruits came to a halt. “and welcome to the pathfinders!”

<change so they can write home, family can join pathfinder support group, etc.>

There was a burst of noise from the crowd at this, which quickly subsided. “No insult to the other branches, but the pathfinders are, of course, the best branch of the forces.”

“Huuurah!” the two men standing next to him said, echoed, awkwardly, by a couple of the boys. Not Andrew, I don’t think he could have opened his mouth to save his life.

“I know there are rumors about how pathfinders are chosen… and we encourage them. I personally like the rumor that you get to be a pathfinder when you have killed one hundred adult enemy in hand to hand combat.”

“Huuurah!” shouted the men next to him, and the audience laughed.

“However, that is not, exactly, true. In point of fact pathfinders are chosen because we aren’t good at anything.”

The men didn’t hurrah at this, but they did grin, and I felt Andrew’s hand tighten convulsively in mine. “You see,” the colonel continued, “Pathfinders have to be able to do it all. We have to fly our own ships, fight our own battles, and find the best place to plant colonies… clearing the land and living on it until colonists come live on it. Then we move on and do it again!”

“Huuurah!” the men said and, this time, many of the boys joined in.

“So we don’t need the best ship handlers, but we need good ones. We don’t need the best fighters, but we need good ones. We don’t need fantastic colonists, but we need people who can find, and plant, good land; build good houses, clear good roads.” <insert hurrahs, or state afterwards>

“Over the last year you have been tested, rigourously, and your group sorted down until you, the people in this room, were fixed on as the people we want as pathfinders. You have formed this group, and worked together in dozens of different sims. I will be one of your leaders, my brothers here two others, but, other than that, you are the 501st pathfinder group!”

“Huuurah!” all the boys said together. The cry was familiar, it was on all the movies. Movies had all of the forces, of course, and honored them all. But the most exciting movies, the one’s that showed us taking the battle to the enemy’s heartland, always starred the pathfinders.

“OK, no more time to waste. Board shuttles by your shifts. ‘A shift with me, ‘B’ shift with Andrew here,” he said, pointing at the man to his left, “And ‘C’ shift with Jesse.”

<fix shifts>

We followed Jesse into the far shuttle. “Take your seats,” he said then, when we were seated, he, standing at the front, said, “My name is Jesse, obviously. We are the 501st C group. We will be splitting into three shifts within the group.”

He looked around, “We will do a bunch of training on our way to the front, it is another three months to our first assignment. I will need to learn about each of you. I know your names, and some things, but you all know each other better than anything. So, we’re going to play a little game. I want you to look at the person on your right, and tell me one thing about them, not work related, that the person next to you can do better than you can. Not work related. We will be spending lot of time together, living right on top of each other, and we will need to get along. So, let’s see, let’s start with you…” he said, pointing right at me.

“I…” I said, panicked. “I’m Aliya, Aliya…” I panicked again. I had never said this but I knew I needed to, “Aliya Tome’, and this is my partner Andrew and he… he draws just wonderfully.”

“An artist, eh?” said Jesse. “That’s great. I’m sure that we will all look forward to seeing what he can do. We have a painter… or, in my last group we had a painter, and he was always making us paintings. It was fascinating some of the materials he used on some primitive planets. I’m sure you’ll find drawing easier. My oldest son, Adam, would like to take lessons from you, I’m sure. Next?”

Grant was sitting next to Andrew, and Andrew sat silently for a few seconds. Then he grinned, “This is probably cheating, but he is really great at wrestling. I doubt it will go over too well on ship, but on planet I think he will go unbeaten.”

“You’ll be surprised what we can do on ship; they say necessity is the mother of invention and living on top of each other on ship is necessity squared. That should be great. Next?”

Grant stared at him, a confused look on his face. “Well, this is my wife Jane and she is the best wife in all the world, but that probably doesn’t count.” He thought for a minute. “I think I have something, something she is really good at. She’s a great story teller. She doesn’t do it often, she’s kind of shy, but she can tell a great story.”

I stared at Jane, and I wasn’t alone, and she blushed furiously. I had no idea she could tell a story, and I thought she was a good friend of mine. She stammered for a couple of minutes and then came out with what the rest of us knew, that June was a motherly type who always made you feel good.

“Well, that is certainly useful…” Jesse was saying, when we heard a clang and I realized, we all realized, that we had landed. And I realized that I had no idea where we had landed. “Welcome home,” Jesse said, walking to the front of the shuttle and working the latch. “Come on down,” he added, bowing and waving us out.

If you could call it ‘out’. We left the shuttle all right, but it was parked mere inches from the wall, and we walked, single file, through a door just outside of the shuttle door and into the ship proper… and into Bedlam. Men, women, children, babies crying… even a couple of women in crew uniform. “Fresh meat!” one of the soldiers yelled, and, grinning, everyone gathered round with a bedlam of greetings. I clutched Andrew’s arm, and we were kind of toward the back so it was a couple of minutes before a woman made her way through the others to us.

She looked to be a very nice woman, wearing soldier red and nursing a child, which she held confidently as she shook Andrew’s hand and hugged me. The child seemed used to the confusion and kept nursing busily even when it was squished between us. “Andrew and Aliya, no?” she asked. “My name is Beth-any. I studied the portfolios. We are bunkmates,” she said and, at my confused look, said, “We have the bunk, floor space really, next to you two. You will find that a very important relationship on board ship.”

She took me by the arm and led me, Andrew following, over to a spot on the floor. “This will be your bunk,” she said, indicating an area about one meter by two, if that,” and my partner and I sleep here with our little ones.”

Little one*s*?! I thought to myself. She sat down so I sat next to her, Andrew busy being greeted by some man. “I don’t understand,” I said, “You are soldiers?”

“Oh, yes,” she said. “Silly videos, they really don’t tell you much about pathfinders do they? Each pathfinder team consists of pathfinders proper, like you’ll be; a team of soldiers; and crew for the ship.”

“I thought they said we would need to be crewing our own ships and fighting our own battles.”

“Oh, you will dear, you will. We have dozens of ships of all sizes on this ship. We are really very well equipped. The crew run the main ship, not the shuttles. Well, except for the shuttle that brought you in, that kind of thing. And everybody does fighting, of course, but we soldiers, our men mostly, do their fighting pretty continuously at the front lines, keeping the enemy back from you all, hunting and all that. Your men, and you yourself when needed, will do most of your fighting near your colonies and roads and all that.”

“Oh, I see,” I said. Just then she popped the baby off her breast,

“Would you like to burp it?” she asked. “I can see you like children.”

Well I did, although I had never thought myself good with them. The child came to me willingly enough, however, and gave a simply enourmous burp which sent breast milk simply cascading down my back. Beth-any laughed, and handed me a rag. Then, seeing I couldn’t reach she turned me around and plyed the rag all up and down my back. “Well, you’ve been baptized,” she said. “He does that, my Caleb.”

It seems odd but somehow I liked Caleb from then on. I was just picking him up again when Jesse called out, “Ok, that was fun, but some of us need to sleep. Time to call off for shifts. Andrew and Aliya Tome’, this will be your sleep shift. Grant and Jane Seymor, Day shift, downstairs please…”

He read everyone off and I watched as most everyone went downstairs. Beth-any still sat next to me and, seconds later, her husband, John came over with Andrew and, after quickly introducing himself to me turned back to Beth-any.

Day 361 evening

The next hour was the hardest hour of my entire life. The lights were dimmed, very dimmed, and that helped. And Andrew was everything I could have asked. But being bedded in a room full of people, even ones that were strenuously ignoreing us as much as we were trying to ignore them. Although Beth-any and John were fairly blasé, no doubt having lived through this for the last who knows how long.

Andrew held me, afterwards, while I cried, and then he dropped off to sleep. I couldn’t, not yet, and sat up after he was off. As I did so I noticed two eyes peering at me. I hadn’t noticed them putting her to bed, but right next to us, at our feet, was evidently their little girl. And she, evidently, wasn’t sleepy… no doubt because of all of the newness. We stared at each other for a minute or so and then, slowly, carefully, I reversed my position in bed and put my head down by hers. “What’s your name?” I asked.

“Gillian,” she answered. “What’s yours?”

“Miss Aliya,” I said… forgetting that I wasn’t ‘miss’ anymore. She looked confused, looking at me, and then at Andrew. “Aren’t you sleeping here?” she asked. “Aren’t you an Aunt?”

“A what?” I asked.

“Mommy says that anyone that sleeps with us is ‘Aunt’ Something.”

“Oh,” I said, “Well, then, call me ‘Aunt Aliya’.”

“OK,” she said. Then, “Don’t you have any kids?”

“Just the one inside,” I said, patting my tummy. She reached out her hand.

“I can’t feel it,” she complained.

“Not yet,” I said. “Not for a few more months.”

She seemed assuaged by this and looked at where Andrew lay, snoring quietly. “Is that your partner?” she asked, sounding as if Andrew was a poor substitute for children.

“Yes,” I said, “his name is Uncle Andrew.”

She nodded her head. I had obviously gotten it right this time. “I have a brother,” she said, “His name is Caleb.”

That I knew, but I asked her all sorts of questions about Caleb, and Gillian, and her mommy and daddy. She had scooshed over next to me and I was in the middle of telling her a story about one of my brothers when I suddenly realized she was asleep. It was kind of awkward, without a pillow and all, but I didn’t want to wake her, so I lay back and closed my own eyes.

Day 362 morning

And woke to nausea. I sat up, bolt upright, looking frantically around for the bathroom. It wasn’t hard, one end of the room had two doors on it, and the proverbial picture of a girl in skirts on one wall. I hurried off, almost running over a small child coming out. I went to the first hole I came to and lost… lost whatever meal it was I had eaten last. The child, a girl, had come in after me and was watching me, wide eyed. “Aunt Aliya?” she said, and I finally recognized her as the child I had fallen asleep with last night. She had probably had to get up to go, and that had woken me up, and… I threw up again.

“Are you OK, Aunt Aliya?” the child insisted, coming over and pulling my hair back from my face.

“Yes, yes dear,” I said, trying to play the part of an ‘Aunt’ when what I wanted was to be a little girl and have my mommy come and hold me. “Yes, it is just being pregnant.”

At least, that is what I figured. I got up, showered and, leading Gillian by the hand, went back to bed. My arrival woke Andrew, with predictable results. I struggled to be cheerful, and not to bother him with my condition but, when he was finished, he seemed to notice that something was wrong. As we got up to shower he said, “Are you OK?”

“My morning sickness has finally started,” I said, holding my stomach… which was still threatening revolt and slaughter.

“Oh, I’m so sorry. Hopefully it will be over quickly.”

I hope so too, I thought, as I got back in the shower for a quick rinse. Certainly several other girls had only had short and easy sickness. Jane, for example, had only been mildly sick for a week or two.

I went back to bed, but couldn’t sleep. Every time I tried to lay down my stomach threatened to rise up. So I grabbed a comp from the cabinet beside the bed and tried to read. Then I decided I might as well dress, and rummaged through the cabinet for clothes. My new ‘pathfinder’ uniform looked like just so much grey in the dim light, and I went back to my book. It wasn’t like it had been my sleep cycle anyway. But I was going to be tired by tonight!

It turned out I had only gotten up about an hour early. Soon people began stirring all over the room. Most of them were our people, the ones that had come with us, the ones I knew. Young couples, the occasional baby, the less occasional pregnant partner. Besides us there was Beth-any and her husband and, down the line, an entire family. I watched them out of the corner of my eye as they got up and there were three older boys and three younger girls. And the mother was grossly pregnant. I wondered if that would be a girl or a boy.

“You’d better get up,” I said, poking Andrew, after most of the others had come back from their showers.

“Huh,” he said, waking and stretching. He really had changed from the boy I had partnered with. The training had been good for him, and he had muscles popping out all over. He stretched, again, and got up, rummaging through the cabinet for clothes and pulling them on. Suddenly I thought of my own duties and got up and started folding up the blankets and putting them away, along with the pillows and all.

“Work time Aunt Aliya!” a small voice piped up from my waist and I looked down to see Gillian. With her mother and Andrew both staring at us in surprise I bent down to her.

“Where do we go for work time?” I asked her.

“Down the ladder!” she squealed, sounding excited to tell me… or perhaps excited to go down the ladder, I couldn’t tell. She grabbed my hand, “Come on Uncle Andrew!” she said, imperiously and Andrew, grinning, came over and took her other hand.

“Have we met?” he asked Gillian, as she led us across the room, followed by most of the eyes in the room.

“You were asleep!” Gillian said, accusingly.

“I suppose I was,” Andrew said, as we came to the ladder. I thought, for a second, about helping Gillian down, but before I could even decide how she let go of our hands, leapt forward and, with a squeal, slid all the way down the ladder to the floor below. Andrew, grinning, followed more sedately, and I followed him.

Into bedlam, again. If anything this was worse. There was only one ladder and about fifty people, including about twenty kids, were standing around the ladder waiting for us to get down.

“Wow,” I whispered, yelled practically, into Andrew’s ear.

“Yeh,” he said, pulling me through the crowd. It took fifteen minutes for all of the upstairs crowd to come down, and all of the downstairs crowd to go up the ladder. Then, finally, there were a few minutes of almost silence as we all turned to look at Jesse. There were about sixty of us in the room right now, and Jesse stood in front with the another man, a crew.

“Good morning,” Jesse said. “I hope those of you that were off shift were able to sleep, and I’m sure you are all hungry. Eddon, here, had his crew prepare a breakfast for us. That’s not usual, I want you to understand, usually each shift’s women make their own meals for their families, but given the circumstances he thought it would be a fine welcoming present. And, he tells me, that we had some frozen Juvie left so you freshies will get to taste real Juvie for the first time. I guarantee you it tastes even better than in sim. So, let’s get out the tables.”

Which I had no idea how to do but the other crew obviously did, even those that had come over with us. Seconds later several of the walls were folded down to make tables, seats were pulled up out of the floor, and the women were bringing bowls to the tables. I felt something on my arm and turned. It was Beth-any. “Would you like to eat with us?” she said. “We really didn’t get to know each other last night.”

“Sure,” I said, knowing Andrew would approve. He liked me to take charge for ‘social stuff’. We followed her over to a table and I was soon seated between Gillian and Beth-any, and Andrew sat down between Caleb and John. <check for ‘of course’>

“You will like this Juvie,” Beth-any said. “Pretty much everyone does. This is our favorite way to cook it for breakfast.”

I looked into the food she was busy spooning onto her plate, before passing it to me with instructions as to how much Gillian should start with. It smelled great, although it was nothing like any kind of breakfast food we would have on New Texas. It was all sliced vegetables and meat… “Steamed?” I asked.

“On ship,” Beth-any said. “On planet we usually have to boil or fry it. But steamed is really best.

I took some. I truly was hungry. And it turned out to be excellent, too. “What are these vegetables?” I asked.

“I don’t remember their name. We grew them, what, three planets ago? No, two planets ago. They are delicious, aren’t they?”

“Yes. Kind of crunchy sweet.”

“There is another one, in the same family, that is hot and spicy. But we usually don’t eat it for breakfast.”

No one was eating quickly, so I took my time as well. The room was filled with babble but, about a half an hour into the meal, my ears caught a question Andrew was asking John, “So, you are her second husband? And Gillian isn’t yours?”

“Yes. Beth-any’s first husband died on their first assignment, and I was brought out as a bachelor soldier. There are always some in the pipeline.” Beth-any, sitting beside me, paled, and I put my arm on her shoulder.

“I’m so sorry,” I said.

“He was very nice,” she said. “John is nice, too, of course, and he has been just wonderful with Gillian, raising her absolutely as his own. Of course, her first father never even got to see her, the poor boy.”

“Ok, folks, time for us to get started working. We’re all going to be busy over the next three months. Partners, while your women clear the tables and all, I’ll get you started simming.”

The men and boys all trooped off downstairs, and I got up with Beth-any (and Gillian) to help clear the tables. “what do the boys do?” I asked. “What kind of sims?”

“The same as the men,” Beth-any said. “Boys, unless their gifts are very different, tend to follow in their father’s force. They are partnered right at what we called eligibility, and they start work right away. Actually, most of them start even before then.”

“They partner right at eligibility? How do they manage that?”

“They are assigned,” Beth-any said.

“Really? All of them? Kind of like a final choice?”

“Oh, no. They are assigned well before then. The doctor and the parents assign them. Genetically, you know. You’re a doctor, you understand these things. Oh, speaking of which. I completely forgot.” She looked out at the room, and spotted a boy standing in the corner who, when he saw her looking at him, blushed. “That’s Carl, he needs you to certify him as in puberty and take the standard tests and things.”

Poor boy. Back home you went to the doctors very privately. I had only told my girlfriends a couple of weeks later. “You’re Carl?” I said to him, as he came up to me in response to my wave.

“Yes, yes ma`am.”

“So, Carl, you’ve started puberty?”

“Yes ma`am, that is, my mom says I have.”

“Well, we’ll just check you real quick and then get your blood test and all. Let me figure out where we can do that.”

“Oh, I know that, ma`am.”

“Yes?”

“Right in here,” he said, pointing to the boy’s room. “I’ll make sure there’s nobody in there.”

He went in and, a few seconds later, a boy came out, then Carl came to the door. “The kit for the blood test is right here, ma`am,” he said. “There is one in the girl’s room as well. Would you rather go there?” he asked, sounding concerned.

“No, this is fine,” I said. Let me find the tests I’ll need.

The kits were standard and I had the blood test and the physical exam done a few minutes later. One boy came in while I was doing the blood test and backed hurriedly out. “Well?” he asked me, when I had finished and was running his genetic test.

“Well, what, Carl?”

“Am I, ma`am? Am I in puberty now?”

“Yes, yes of course, Carl, your mother was quite right.” His face lit up, and I suddenly realized that he hadn’t been worried about the exam so much as whether this strange new doctor would agree with his mother and pass him into his next phase of life. He thanked me and then ran off, “Mom, mom, the doctor says I am!”

I emerged from the boy’s room to the grins of the other women, and the relief of that one boy, who hurried in behind me. “Thank you,” Beth-any said. “You have made his day. He was actually changing?”

“Oh, yes,” I said. “He was just at the very beginning, but enough along I could certify him.” I tried to sound confident, as if this wasn’t the first puberty I had certified outside of a sim. “I take it that the boys here are proud to pass that step in life?”

“Oh, extremely proud, but they are especially eager because it means that they will get to fight soon. Carl is a soldiers son and, except for some turret work, has never been in ‘real’ combat; you know, against adults. Now that you have certified him he can take his final few sims and be cleared for ground work.”

I blanched, appalled at what I had done. “But he’s so young!”

“We start out young out here,” she said. “We have no choice. But, don’t worry, it won’t be front line stuff. He’ll fight in towers and all. And we pathfinders, that is pathfinder units, have some excellent body armor. I’m sure you’re training will include that. And with his genetic information we can regrow practically anything that doesn’t kill him, even germ tissue, so unless the battle really goes south he should be OK.”

“But I don’t envy you your next task, however.”

“Oh?”

“Once his father is back from simming you will have to sit down with his parents and go over who Carl can partner with. Hopefully his code will leave him rather open, but we have such a small group that we often have to send our eligibles back to the station for partnering, and parents hate that.”

“What’s the genetic variability required?” I asked. Usually partnering wasn’t that hard!

“Oh, I wouldn’t know about that,” she said, “you’ll have to look it up. But it worse for pathfinders than for anyone else, because we are such a small group.”

“Oh, oh, that makes sense,” I said, thinking myself pretty stupid for not thinking of that myself.

“Well, time to sim,” Beth-any said, and I looked around, confused. “Where are the circles?” I asked, watching people, women and children, settling themselves in front of various walls, and donning gloves and goggles. I wasn’t surprised to see them sitting down but…

“Oh, we can’t do those, unfortunately. There simply isn’t space to install them in the floors. You have no idea how tight these quarters are. But you will, that is the first sim.”

Indeed, the second I put on the goggles my world vanished completely into a starfield and a spaceship. Startled I reached up and removed them, rejoicing to see the world return to our day cabin. I put them back on, and the starfield came back.

This is the pathfinder ship Terrier, the new home of Pathfinder force 501st C. Except for certain command and control functions she is identical to the wolfhound and the Beagle, the home of the 501st B and A. These ships use the latest in our stealth technology, the picture you are seeing is not something the human eyes could actually perceive. Observe.

At that the ship all but disappeared, replaced by a black patch that still radiated the view of the various stars ‘behind’ it. Ironically only where the stars weren’t could I notice a slight change in the background ‘color’.

This stealth is reflected in all wavelengths and it is estimate that the enemies technology will not be able to perceive this ship at a distance of more than 100 km, and even then only with difficulty.

One hundred kilometers? That was practically spit—in-your-face distance. No space warfare ever occurred that close.

She is lightly armed, with only a few hundred long range missiles and a few thousand air to ground missiles on board. The Grendor, the 501st supply ship, has a reasonable re-supply capacity. However the force will need to meet up with supply colliers from time to time to resupply for most circumstances.

The interior of the Terrier consists of three living compartments, one piloting compartment, several storage facilities, and bays for the shuttles, ground ships, and assault ships. The most interesting of the ground ships is a new ship appropriately called ‘the spider’.

The screen had been zooming in and showing me the various compartments and things as the voice spoke. I recognized the sleeping compartment where I had spent the night, and the ‘day cabin’ where I was now. The third compartment, below us, was a sim compartment and had suits dangling from the ceiling everywhere. But now I was suddenly inside of one of the bays, staring at a bizarre apparition.

The spider is best shown in use, the voice said, and I was suddenly faced with a jungle scene. The ‘spider’ was literally dangling between several trees, with long metallic tentacles reaching out to grab them. As I watched it moved a tentacle over its ‘head’ and grabbed a new tree, moving itself forward, slowly, between the trees. As I watched it came to a space that was too small the two tentacles reached forward and removed the tree. As you can see it is designed for an environment rich in plant growth where standard ground transportation would be difficult. It can also… The view shifted to a swam… walk on water, in the sense that the tentacles have the capacity for buoyancy and, along with the main compartment are, in the aggregate, lighter than water.

This was totally awesome, with the spider literally skating across the water.

The inside of the spider normally carries up to eight personnel. Four can be housed in the piloting compartments…

There were four of these around the circumference of the spider. Kind of like for flitters, except the ‘windows’ were black one way vision durasteel.

Four more can be housed in the interior compartement, with two more in the turrets. Given normal staffing, some of these positions are usually unoccupied.

Well, of course. One had to sleep sometimes. But the way it was built it looked like there was little room to do anything more than sleep. You would have to eat sitting on the floor or laying down, there couldn’t be room for a table in that ‘interior compartement’. The computer droned on about armaments and storage and the like and I was almost asleep by the time it said,

The next ship is a standard ground vehicle. Capable of powered flight at heights of over two hundred meters it normally cruises at two meters or less.

This craft looked very normal, almost like a shuttle. One interior compartment, like the one I was sitting in, except a little smaller.

Attention: The parents of Carl Jensen would like to set up an interview time for discussing his partnering.

Oh, bother, I had forgotten about that. I clicked, “Message acknowledged” and started digging through the relavent files. Wow, they did have a much tighter genetic allowance than I had read about before. I set the computer up to search… oh, bother, I had pulled up the wrong file… this was every female in our group, not just those not yet partnered. Bother! No one not yet partnered was a good match for him. Poor Carl.

As I thought about how to tell his parents that he was going to have to search for a partner from outside the group, with all of the problems that that must entail, I scrolled idly through the list. He could have partnered with some of the rest of us. Escpecially me. Our patterns were very different.

Suddenly I had an idea and started doing some research. It was a bizarre idea. A truly and fundamentally bizarre idea. My research confirmed it but…

I stared at the screen, and considered… but I was the doctor. I hit the ‘override’ button and Andrew’s face, looking very confused, suddenly appeared before me. “Aliya?” he said.

“I need to talk to Jesse,” I said. “Doctor stuff.”

“Oh,” he said, “Oh, ok. Boy, that surprised me. I was in the middle of slaughtering a group of aliens.”

I played with the controls a little more and gave Jesse a few seconds to respond, but he showed up right away. “Yes?” he said.

“As you may know, I certified Carl this morning,” I said. “Unfortunately I’m having a problem with his genetic pattern.”

“I was worried about that,” Jesse said, supposedly to Andrew. “We have been having that problem recently, although we have always managed. You will have to search farther out, perhaps a nearby soldier unit? Not that any of them are that close.”

“Yes, well, I had another idea,” I said, and proceeded to explain it.

“Are you sure she will be a match?” Jesse asked.

“Yes, actually, the markers are quite clear.”

“Well, I don’t object, then. It seems a nice solution. Go ahead.”

“Thanks,” I said, and closed the connection, and then signaled the parents that I would be ready to meet as soon as they were. Seconds later the ‘connection’ button came up, and I duly pressed it.

“Hello,” I said to the partenaire, whose name, I hastily looked up, was Cynthia. “I have completed your son’s partner assignment. It is a little unusual, but I checked it out with Jesse and he approved it.”

Unusual?” the partner said.

“Yes,” I answered, as if Cynthia had spoken. “You see, there was no one in our group he could partner with. So I had to choose, for his partenaire, someone a little further afield.”

“Oh, we were afraid of that,” she said. “Who did you get?”

“Well, as I said, it was a bit unusual. I have a sister, back on New Texas, that isn’t partnered. And so, again with Jesse’s approval, I sent for her to be his partenaire.”

“Oh!?” Cynthia said. “Oh, well, that is wonderful. We are such a close group, you see, and we hate to partner very far out. That will be…”

“I’m going to go back now,” the Partner said. When he dropped out of the call I looked at Cynthia. “Is he upset?”

“Oh, no. He is just very businesslike and hates to ‘waste time’. They are very busy training all of your new partners, you know. But, really, I’m so excited by your news. We were so worried that we would have to get some total stranger. Tell me about your sister…”

“How was your morning?” Andrew asked, coming up to me at ‘lunch time’ and kissing me and cuddling at the same time. “It sure is great to get to see you at noon, or whatever time it is.”

“Well, our shift time we woke up at eight and it’s now four o’clock,” I said. “Hungry?”

“Starving. Training was hard. Unit stuff.”

I looked at him as I served him. Roast meat: these pathfinders ate well. And potatoes. The first meal I actually cooked for him, with real food, and I wanted some New Texas food. The meat was some strange animal, but the potatoes were regular enough. “Unit stuff?”

“You know,” he said, “learning to fight together as a team. I can’t believe this. I can’t believe we are pathfinders. My parents are going to go ballistic.

“You’ve certainly come a long way,” I said and then seeing his look and realizing how he might have taken that I said, “I mean it. I still remember that first day I saw you.” I reached out to grab his arm, squeezing his bicep, which hardly budged. “Look at you.”

He blushed, ate, and then said, “I heard you certified a boy today. You made his day! He worked with me on a combat exercise and he was grinning like the Chesire cat. Puffing out his chest. And when he found out who I was he was all over buzzing about how nice you were.”

“Were you like that, when you changed?”

“Well, I was happy enough. But I was much more embarrassed about it. I changed shirts though.”

“What?”

“It was our tradition, I don’t know if they did it in your town. But in our town, when boys first changed, he would start wearing a different kind of shirt. In our town it was dark blue. No ‘little boy’ was allowed to wear dark blue. You had to wait until you changed. I think I wore the same shirt for three straight weeks, until my mother threatened to throw me in the wash with it. Then I put on another one.” He grinned and piled in again.

“How are you?” he asked, some minutes later, when we had retired to a busy corner to cuddle. “You don’t look great.”

“Oh, it’s just the morning sickness,” I said. “I’m sure it will pass.”

“And then we’ll get a baby!” he said, “Do you want a boy or a girl?”

The next three months were incredibly hard. Andrew did well, enjoying his training. And I made friends and all. But I was with people constantly. Constantly. I never was in the shower without at least three other girls, and usually twice that many and several children.

And I was mortally ill. I wasn’t just morning sick I was noon sick and evening sick as well. I drank Nausease, which tasted awful but helped some women, and it did nothing for me. I didn’t throw up often, usually just once a day, but I felt sick all day!

Ironically the first morning I really felt good was the morning that we were due to arrive at our first planet. “Baby!” Gillian said to me in the shower that morning, patting my stomach which was, just a bit, showing. Just the slightest bit but everyone made a big deal about it, especially in the morning showers. Not just for me, either, all the pregnant women came in for the same thing from Gillian.

“Yes, Gillian, Baby,” I said, trying to keep the shampoo out of my eyes. “Are you excited, Beth-any? To be going to a planet?”

She laughed, “It’s not quite the same for me, Aliya. I’ve done this before, and, besides, our job is different from yours. But I guess I’m still excited.”

I stood in the dryer and she grinned at me. “I hope it goes well for you. Your first assignment can be hard, you know.”

“I know,” I said, but I had no idea what she meant. This assignment seemed easy enough

The shuttle flared to a stop, literally in the middle of nowhere. An enourmous stretch of sand, stretching for miles in either direction, with nothing breaking it anywhere. “Are you sure this is the right spot?” I asked Andrew, looking over his shoulder at the screen.

“You can see it as well as I do,” he said, pointing. Sure enough the underground water was closest to the surface right here.

“This is so bizarre,” I said, as the shuttle door opened. “All this water, and all of it under the surface.

“Bye Aunt Aliya,” I heard as I got to the door. I looked up to the turret where he sat, poking his head down and grinning at me.

“Bye Carl,” I said, waving back.

“Help them unload, Carl,” the father’s voice came from the front of the shuttle, where he was shutting everything down. Carl raced down the ladder and ran over with Andrew to the cargo bay. I walked out into the desert and stared at the sand. How could there be water here?

“Aliya?” Andrew yelled, “they have to go, could you help?”

I went over and helped pull out the rest of our stuff; pull it far enough so that the shuttle wouldn’t squish it with it’s thrusters when it took off.

“Bye Aunt Aliya,” Carl yelled, at the door of the shuttle. Seconds later I saw him back at his turret, waving again. I waved back at him as the shuttle took off, flaring away from us on it’s way to drop off the next couple… or family rather, I remembered, as they had had their baby a month ago.

“What do we do first?” I asked Andrew, more to hear my self talk than anything.

“Well, if you’re OK with setting up the tent I’ll get started on the well.”

“I still can’t believe we’re having to dig this with shovels!” I said, as I pulled at the cases until I had the tent case out.

He walked over to another case and got a shovel. Then he stripped off his shirt and started off into the desert. “Andrew!” I said, “Put your shirt back on. You’ll get sunburn.”

Andrew sighed and walked back. “You know why we have to do it by hand. We don’t have room: not on the shuttle, not on the ship. Besides, the water is only five feet down through sand. It shouldn’t be that hard to dig out.”

Two hours later I had done everything I could think of with the tent. I even had a dinner cooking. So I went over to Andrew.

“Don’t say anything!” he said, from where he stood in the middle of a very, very small hole in the sand.

“How can I help,” I said, doing my best not to laugh.

“Get me some water,” he said, starting again with his shovel.

I got him water and then, a few hours later, convinced him to stop.

The next morning went better. We got up early in the morning, really early, so it was cool. He had me make sandbags, to hold the edges of the sand back and somehow just filling them and piling them around the edge made the hole look deeper. And then I switched with him for a while. He let me dig for a half an hour or so and then came back. By then I fully appreciated the difference between the muscle mass of a male versus a female. I thought I was going to die.

I went back and took a nap. Hey, I was pregnant, I was allowed! And when I got up…

“You took your shirt off again,” I accused. He had taken off more than that, he was shoveling in his briefs.

“It’s still early morning, and the sun can’t even reach me here,” he said. It was true, too, so I came down off my high horse and said, “So, what can I do?”

“Rig up a pail, will you?” he asked. That way I don’t have to throw it so far.”

That was an idea. I went out to to look. Since we were building a well, they had given us some pails, and I tied a rope to one and went back.

“Great,” Andrew said, as I threw it down to him. A few shovels and it was full. He stood there while I pulled it up and out, and then threw it back. We reapeated this a couple of times and then he started, in between my pails, to continue to throw stuff out over the walls.

“This isn’t helping,” I said, discouraged.

“No, it is,” he said. It’s easier when I throw it in the pail. But we’ll get done faster this way, with me doing both.”

And so I hauled on the pail for the next couple of hours. “How deep are we?” I asked, collapsing exhausted by the side of the well.

I think about three feet,” Andrew said, and then, “What’s that?”

I looked up, hearing the noise myself. There, about three miles away, was the shuttle, obviously coming toward us.

“I wonder what’s up?” Andrew asked, climbing out of our ‘well’ and getting his clothes on.

“they didn’t radio us or anything,”I said, arranging my hair, which had gotten kind of out of order as I pulled on the pail, and when I flopped on the ground.

“Well, let’s go see,” he said, his shirt in place.

We walked over to where the shuttle had landed, and got to the door just before it opened, revealing a grinning Carl. “We brought you some fish!” he said. “For a barbecue!”

I looked behind him at his mother. “We went fishing,” she said, “and thought you would enjoy some.”

Carl and his father went out with Andrew to see our well, and I went with his mother… their little one’s tagging along. “We’ve finished dropping everyone off, and so we decided to go fishing, after strafing the enemy some. We’ve got this cool harpoon and…” She opened the door to the fridge and I gasped. “Yes, it is rather large,” she said, laughing. “Let’s get a fire started and then we’ll cut some off.”

Large? I thought to myself as she closed the fridge, that fish was bigger than me!

We, that is the kids mostly, got a fire started with our fire sticks… Long tubes that gave off gas and imitated a real fire. We supervised them as they did that, set up the grilling rack over the fire, and then we, indeed, cut off a large section of the fish, leaving the children with the grill to ‘watch’ it. It was only then that I noticed that Carl and his father had joined Andrew in our well.

“What are you doing?” I asked as I came to the edge and saw the three of them, stripped to the waist, shoveling sand on some tarp or something that was all tied up with ropes.

“Grant invented this,” Carl’s father said, still shoveling. “We’ll show you how it works in a minute.”

It was only a minute too, as they had it relatively full. Then they came out and Carl’s father took up the ropes, tied them together, and tied a longer rope to them. Then he tied the other end of that to our ‘come along’, a winch thing that operated by hand. He attatched the come along to the shuttle and handed the handle to Carl who, with a grin, started winching. “You can put a stake in here when we leave,” Carl’s father said, as we watched the tarp tighten up. “But I think you’ll find this quicker.”

It wasn’t very quick, with each winch of Carl’s arms moving the tarp only an inch or so, but it was moving a great deal of sand. The tarp sort of crept over the wall, with the ropes only moving the far end and the rest kind of rolling up and over until the sand dumped out. We all went forward and pulled the tarp out from under the sand.

“You can move the stakes around while Andrew shovels,” Carl’s father said, “so the sand doesn’t get too piled up in any one place. I think it’s only faster because it is easier, really. All of that throwing overhead…”

The boys went back to their work, and we went and turned the fish, and prepared some other food. “So, we were your first stop?” I asked Carl’s mother.

“Yes, Carl insisted. I think you made a hit with him, first certifying him and then giving him your sister. That makes him your Brother-in-Law.”

I laughed, “I hadn’t thought of it that way, but that’s right. We didn’t usually have any time, back on New Texas, where the couple would be planning on coming together but not yet partners in flesh. So, I have another brother. Interesting.”

“You come in for a new name, that way,” she said. “Among us. You are now his ‘Adelphe’, or ‘Sister in Law’. If he had several sisters in law he might not use it so much but, being the only one, the only one here, anyway, he has said he will start calling you that, if it is OK with you. It is our tradition for Sisters-in-law, a special form of respect.”

“Sure,” I said, shrugging my shoulders, and we concentrated on the fish. “I guess that’s what I get for marrying myself into a another culture by proxy.”

“Dinner!” Carl’s mom shouted a few minutes later. The fish looked really good, and smelled great. Carl, his father, and Andrew, came climbing out of their hole a minute or two later, and washed themselves with water from the shuttle before putting their shirts back on.

“Shall we pray?” Carl’s father asked, and we all bowed our heads.

“Well, brother, thank you so much for helping us with our well,” I said, to Carl, coming over and putting my hand on his shoulder. He blushed furiously, and stammered out something about my being welcome. The other children, slightly confused, grinned at him. Andrew looked at me curiously, and then with dawning comprehension. Soon he was joining in with the ‘brother’ comments, causing Carl to look as if he wanted to crawl in the well and pull the sand in after himself. But I crowned the issue as, after we had eaten and we girls had cleaned up (while the boys dug) I stopped him from getting away with a mere handshake for me as he said goodbye.

“As my new brother, you really need to kiss me now,” I said, presenting my cheek. Face aflame he complied, and then almost ran back into the shuttle while everyone laughed.

“Oh,” you are so cruel,” his mother said, while his father grinned and kissed me himself.

“As your brother’s father, you understand,” he said, as I blushed myself.

“Will he survive?” I asked Carl’s mother, when she came up, indicating Carl with a wave of my head.

“Oh, he was thrilled, just embarrassed,” she said, kissing me herself much more naturally, and then repeating the gesture for Andrew. “He’s growing up, and is thrilled by it. We’ll see you two around.”

The new device worked marvelously, as did getting up early, staying up late, and napping in the middle of the day to avoid the sun. It was only two days later when a shout from Andrew sent me running. “Water!” he yelled and I looked down. It was so dark in the hold I could hardly see anything, but I certainly didn’t see any water. “At my feet,” he said. “They are a couple of inches into the sand and I can feel water with my toes. We’re getting there!”

“That’s great!” I said, climbing down beside him and grabbing a shovel.

It only took us a few minutes to get a faint seep of water, but it took us another whole day before Andrew was willing to stop shoveling. He was standing in the middle of the huge hole he had dug, ankle deep in water at the time, and water was still seeping in. “We’ll need to sandbag, now,” he said, and, with a sigh, handed him some sandbags and began filling some myself. It was, finally, two days after that before we stood, at sunset, at the side of the well, looking down at our ‘finished’ product.

“Shall we start the plants tomorrow?” he asked.

“Oh, I’d really like to start now,” I said. “At least with a couple of plants.”

He looked at me and grinned, “Eager for some green?” he asked, and I nodded. These last few days had been very hard. I only had Andrew to talk to, and he had wanted to do very little talking. He had worked, eaten, spent time in bed with me, and slept, and then gone back to working. I had worked with him, done what I could around ‘the house’, taken care of the seedlings… but I was mostly bored. So I was, indeed, eager for a little green. “Well, let’s get started then.”

The system was fairly simply. Each plant was being held in a kind of ‘suspended animation’ chemically. I didn’t remember the chemicals, but I knew I wasn’t allowed to touch the plants until it had been all washed off, being pregnant and all. So I hauled some water over to where we kept the plants, and stood back as he carefully poured out all of the liquid they were in, and poured cup after cup of water into the plant trays, rinsing out everything that had been in there.

We were going to start with the ‘deep root’ bamboo, we had decided. It was a little more straightforward and the end plant would be useful, even if it gave a little less green. The plants rinsed, and Andrew’s hands washed, together we carried the plants over to the edge of the well.

Each individual plant came with a ten foot ‘wick’, which I carefully handed down to Andrew, who being still undressed, was the one to go into the well. He put each wick into the water, and I, at the top, put the plant, in its little plastic pot, into the ground. The plastic was rather fragile, and full of holes, so the bamboo roots, once they started to grow, would rip it to shreds and give the plant room. But, meanwhile, it was filled with little chemical balls which would hold the water, so the plant wouldn’t dry out. (The balls were specially designed not to hold any chemical except water, so the suspension chemical wouldn’t stick to them. Still, I washed my hands well after I was done. )

We planted, in all, fifty plants that evening but, when we got done and stood holding hands looking at them, “It doesn’t look like anything,” I complained.

“It will though,” he said, squeezing my hand. “You know what the books said.”

I did, and I had seen the video too. Content, we walked back to our tent and I was just getting undressed, and Andrew was taking what shower he could (we would hook up the water from the well tomorrow, first thing) when our com rang. It was Carl’s mother. “Aliya,” she said, and the tone in her voice caused me immediate concern, “we’re bringing Jane in. She’s bleeding. I’m afraid it is a miscarriage.”

I hurried out to tell Andrew, who dressed. It was a full ten minutes later when the shuttle landed. Grant was right at the door, practically carrying a white faced Jane. “Lay her down over here,” I said to him and he did… and then abruptly left. I stared at him for a second, and then Jane said,

“He’s scared. He keeps talking about me dying. Somebody tell him I’m not going to die, will you?”

“Well, let me examine you first,” I said, “so I can speak authoritatively.”

I got out my equipment, and it only took me a few seconds to realize… “Jane, I’m sorry…”

“I’ve lost the baby. I know. But please tell my husband I will be all right.”

I looked at Carl’s mother who had sat with me and helped me during the exam. “Do you think you could break the news to him? And reassure him about Jane? And then come right back? I’m going to be rather busy here.”

She nodded and hurried out, and I administered the ‘forget me’ drug to Jane, who lay back, a bemused smile on her face. And then I laid out my other equipment.

“So, she’ll be OK?” Grant said, hurrying up to me. “Carl’s mother she said she would be, but you took so long…”

“It took a long time because she was hemmoraghing from several spots,” I said, not willing to tell him that those spots were where his latest son had died in the womb. “I got her all cleared out, though. She will need to sleep for a day or so, though, after the drugs I gave her.”

“Oh, oh, well could I see her?”

“Yes, just don’t be long, and with the drugs, she won’t really recognize you.”

Grant and them eventually went off to sleep in the shuttle, and Andrew and I finally got to lay down in our tent, in our ‘bed’ on the floor, with Jane a few feet away in her cot. She was still zonked, and so Andrew and I were able to talk, and I was able to cry: both for Jane’s baby, and in fear for mine. Andrew did his best, poor dear, to console me and, eventually, we fell asleep.

“You’re finally up!” I heard as I came out of our tent the next morning. We had slept in a bit, the sun was almost up. The voice was Grant who, along with Carl (who duly came and greeted me) were duly planting along the edge of the well.

“The plants are growing,” Carl said, taking me by the hand and leading me over. “Just since yesterday they’ve grown a little.”

I looked at them. They had been about an inch tall, and several were approaching two inches. I knew that that was slow for this kind of bamboo… they were probably still shaking off the suspension affects.

“How… how’s Jane,” Grant asked.

“She’s doing much better,” I said. “I got her up, helped her use the toilet, and fed her some light soup. It is mostly the medicine that she is shaking off now,” I added, “along with some loss of blood. But she should be ready to go with you later today.”

“Great, great,” he said, and turned back to work. I turned to Carl,

“So, you’ve started installing the creeper vines?”

“Yes,” he said, pulling me closer to look, “Look at their roots! They’re already creeping down the wick!”

I had seen the genetic engineering that they had done on these plants to speed up their growth. The bamboo hadn’t needed that much ‘encouragement’ and it was mostly bamboo genes they had used to help the vine along. You couldn’t quite see the roots growing, but they were a half inch along the wick already, and that was with the suspension chemical still working some. I knew that the rate of growth would increase soon. “Yep, they’ll be down to the water by the next time you’re here.”

Carl looked down into the well. “Do you want to go swimming?” I asked him.

“I can’t swim,” he said, his face falling. “We’ve never visited a planet where I could learn, and you know I just started real sims.”

“Well, do you want to learn? Not that a well is the best place…”

“I’d love to,” he said. I thought quickly. “Grant,” I said, “Would you mind…?”

An hour later I watched the two them, Grant holding up Carl who was splashing away happily. As I watched Grant let him go (again) and Carl, plunging into the water, splashed more frantically and then, triumphantly, lifted his head out of the water and gasped out a breath. Grant let him do this a couple of more times and then lifted him out again, “Good job!” he said, “Now, breathe!”

I laughed, and left them alone.

“How’s Grant?” Jane asked. I had finally allowed her to have her infant back, and he was nursing busily.

“He’s doing great,” I said. “He’s teaching to Carl to swim… in a well!”

Jane laughed, weakly. “Is he OK with my losing the baby?”

“He was upset, but he was mostly worried about you. He was so nervous, you should have seen him.”

“Oh, I’ve seen him nervous before. You should have seen him at my birth. You remember, you were busy with some sim and Angela came over to deliver me. And poor Grant just paced back and forth. I think if my labor hadn’t been as quick as it was he would have had a heart attack.”

“Well, this wasn’t that bad! But he was awfully worried, so he’s been working night and day, practically.”

“Why don’t you have him come in,” she said, “maybe seeing me will calm him down.” She took my hand as I went to turn away, “He’s really a good partner, you know. I know you know we had some problems at first. He had a very hard time growing up, you know. He… he’s not like other boys. He has a temper. He really cares about things. But he’s good at this job,” she said, almost pleading with me to believe her.

“He’s great at this job,” I said to her, patting her on the wrist, “He was born for this job.”

“Do you, do you really think that?”

“Yes, dear,” I said, wondering what it would have been like if Grant had gotten a different partner, one like me. Would he have simply killed me? Or ended up even stronger? I shook my head, it was a foolish question. The Creator had given Grant the partner that The Creator wanted him to have, and had given me to Andrew. “I’ll go and tell him you want to see him.”

“Well, it is good to be finally alone!” Andrew said, that evening, after we had watched the shuttle take off and decided to go and have a rather chilly ‘hot tub’ experience in our new well.

“I have to admit, I kind of enjoyed it,” I said.

“Oh, of course, silly me,” Andrew said. “Here you go and get all of that medical training and then hardly ever get to use it.”

I didn’t say anything, but it wasn’t that. How many months ago had it been that I had been culled, and that I had been absolutely appalled at my new quarters, my new partner, the total lack of privacy, the living on top of one another… and now… now I was lonely. I had been devastated for Grant and Jane but I had been thrilled to have company. I lived for the day when Carl and his family would come by again with another fish…

“I have an idea,” Andrew said, interrupting my reverie. “You should do a tour.”

“A what?” I asked.

“A tour, you know, a medical thing. We could visit the families. Come on, there has to be something medical you can do, check on their pregnancies and all.”

“Do you think?”

“Yeh, sure, why not? You’re the doctor person, right? And it’s not like the plants can’t grow by themselves. We’ve got them all well started.”

“Really?!”

“You’re the doctor, surely you can come up with a plan, something to do with everyone.”

I thought. I had to do routine cancer screening, of course. And with living on a new planet there were tox screens to carry out. I think one girl was getting near puberty. And of course all of the pregnant women needed checking… including myself, but Beth could handle that…”

“Wow!” Carl said, “The plants have really grown!”

Indeed, the bamboo was now taller than he was, and the vines were a good six feet out from the well already. “Are you ready for your exam?” I asked him, “You’re first on my tour. Then your mom.”

Sure, he said, and I led him off to my tent.

“So, how am I doing?” he asked, a bit nervously, while getting dressed after the exam.

“Good. You’ll definitely be ready by the time your partenaire is here. You need to get more exercise though, and take your vitamins. I’ll talk to your mom, and maybe you can do a stretch with a family that is still digging, and need help with the kids and all.”

His face fell. “Hey, you’re probably going to have your own kids soon, you need to get used to dealing with it.”

His face then lit up a bright red, but it was true. “Send your mom in, will you?” I asked, and he darted out.

“What’s got into him?” his mom asked, coming in and taking her clothes off.

“I told him he needed more exercise, more vitamins, and I suggested that he spend some time with a family digging and taking care of kids. When he quibbled at that… lie back please… I reminded him that he would be having his own kids soon.”

She laughed as I played my wand over her just beginning to bulge belly. “No wonder he looked like a ghost. I’ll talk to my husband, I think I’ve got a good placement for him. What do you think of Jones’s?”

I laughed. Jones’s were older pathfinders, not our induction, and they had four little girls: four hyperactive little girls under four, including two red headed two year old twins who were the dictionary models for the ‘terrible two’s’.

“Well, how am I doing?” she asked, some minutes later, as I packed away my tools.

“You, and your baby, are fine. Or, I should say, babies.”

“What?” she squealed.

“Twins,” I answered. “One boy, one girl, growing well. I’ll need to check you more often, twins are a bit more dangerous.”

“Well, Carl will enjoy that, coming to see his sister. Are you ready to go?”

“Yep, all packed. As soon as I get done the rest of your kids and your partner. Let’s do him next, while you are still here.”

Our first ‘stop’, although we had had no idea it was coming, was at the beach. Not like you think, though. “You ready, Aliya?” Carl yelled down at me from his turret. “We’ll be there in a minute, you need to get to a window.”

“A window?”

“On the starboard!” he said, and I heard his hatch slam shut, as regulations demanded before firing, so I sat down and pulled up a ‘window’. Not a real window, of course, no one was dumb enough to put one of those on a shuttle. A screen, that showed the outside. And I had just pulled it up when I heard the turret guns begin to fire. And I saw… enemy. Adult enemy. Farms and things down by the seashore. Farms that were, now, being shot up. Primitive farms. The enemy here were still at their primitive stage, and our troops were dedicated to keeping it that way. The huge desert was bad for them, making it almost impossible for Juvies to survive.

We coasted down the coast for quite a ways, and then headed out to sea. “Did you see, Adelphe?” Carl asked, opening the hatch again and poking his head down.

“Yes, Carl,” I said. It had seemed horrible to me even knowing what I did about the aliens it was awful to see them all running all over the place getting shot and all. I looked at his grinning face, his hands still gripping and relaxing as if he was still firing. I wondered if it was the testosterone that made them so cavalier about all of that killing. Of course, I was medically trained, perhaps that made a difference.

“We’re going to Mr Grant’s place next, you know,” he said. “Did you know that?”

“No, I didn’t, but I’m glad,” I said. “She needs checking after losing her baby.”

Carl’s face fell and he climbed back into his turret. Three hours later we had visited Jane and her family, another family with three small children (which was a bit wild doing their exams, let me assure you) and were coming up to Jones’s.

“Carl!” his mother called, and Carl came sliding down his ladder. “Carl, get yourself some stuff together, you will be staying with Jones’ to help them…”

“Mom!” Carl said, looking at me, appalled, as if he knew this was my fault.

“Carl!” his mom said, and he subsided, going to a closet and pulling out some spare uniforms and underclothes, then a package which I assumed contained his toiletries. Then he sat, glumly, in a corner. I let him sit for a minute, and then went up to him.

“Hey, Brother.”

“Hey,” he said.

“I wonder how your partener, my sister is doing right now.”

He looked at me, slightly wide eyed. “Can you imagine? She would have been sitting in her house, my old house, and then there would have been a knock on the door. It’s very rare, pre-cull, you know. There would have been two people, a seargent and an officer, standing there, and they would have read out her cull. It’s not a real cull, in her case, I think they call it ‘required induction’, and she gets a double bonus and exemption and all.”

His eyes got wider.

“She had an exemption, you know. I gave her one. She will get to pass on that exemption, and her two, on to my other sisters. Still, I wonder how she is feeling, having to travel across all that way to come and partner with you. I told her your name and all, and I told her a lot about you.”

“What…?” he asked, “What is she like?” he finally managed, his voice husky.

I spent the next few minutes telling him about Beth-any until, suddenly, “Carl, we’re about there, are you ready?” his mother asked.

Carl looked up, looked at me, grabbed his pack, “I’m ready mom.” He looked back at me, “I get it. If she can come all that way, I can spend a couple of weeks with the Jones’s.”

I winked at him, and he went to the door, just as if he was all eager for the treat.

“Well?” asked Andrew, late that night as we lay in bed together. “Did that make you feel better, Dr. Aliya.”

I rolled over and looked at him, his body glistening with sweat in the heat. In a few minutes it would be chilly, but the sand was still losing its days heat and we were both covered with sweat. “My love,” I said, “It wasn’t that I needed to play doctor, I needed to see people. It was good that I got to do my doctoring, given our lifestyle. One set of twins, one early skin cancer. But…”

I flopped back on my sheet. “It is truly bizarre. Just a few months ago I could hardly stand being with all those people. I was mad at you, I hated you; and I was totally freaked out by living with all of those people, being naked in front of people, bed play in the same room as other people.”

I rolled over again and looked at him. “But now I can hardly imagine living without you, and I feel isolated and alone living without all those other people.”

“You… you like me now?” he asked, quavering.

“I love you, silly,” I said, writing my name on his belly in his sweat.

“I was so scared of you,” he said.

“What?” I said, moving myself over till I was looking into his eyes directly in the dim light that the moons provided through our tent wall.

“I was terribly scared of you. I knew that our coming together was totally my fault; and… and I felt like I had to lie to you about it. I couldn’t even decently apologize, like most of our friends were doing. I mean, Grant was horrible, but he knew it, and he told Jane. He would get mad, and beat her, and get whipped, and apologize, and try again.”

“But I couldn’t do that. I had to try to pretend I was this noble recruit. And then you found out, and I felt just awful. You punished me, and that was good…. But then you stopped, and I didn’t know how to feel. I mean, I loved it, but I felt… and you’re so smart! I mean, a doctor and all!”

“Oh, my love,” I said. “I may be doctor smart, but I’m not very partenaire smart. Jane’s better at me at that, even if she isn’t ‘doctor smart’.”

He started to say something, but I kissed him, and then showed him how much I loved him in a way that, I had been told, was very meaningful for boys. He was very surprised, and almost resisted, but then (he was a boy) we came joyfully together. When we were done, I said to him, “I love you! Remember that. And you are smarter than I am in lots of ways. Your art is great!”

“But I…” he started, and I kissed him again, and he didn’t say anything else for the rest of the night.

“Carl?!” I said, to the glowing and grinning boy standing in front of me. The shuttle had landed when I was at the far side of our enormous oasis and by the time I had gotten back to our tent (which we had had to move several times already) he was in our tent and stripped down for his exam. He was a rather different boy after his six weeks with the Joneses. Except for a small strip of white at his waist he was a solid mass of tan. And where he had been reasonably muscled before, his muscles were practically bulging, for his age. And his age was increasing, as was evident by his naked status.

He seemed to almost glow during his exam, being sure, very sure, that I was going to congratulate him on his increased maturity; which I did. As he put his shorts back on he stammered a bit and asked, “Do you know when Beth-any is coming?”

“No, I don’t know any more than you do. I guess we’ll find out when the ship comes back for us in a few days.”

“You’ve done incredible here!” he said. “We measured more than nine square miles of greenery, just at your station.”

“The plants have done really well tapping the underground water,” I said. “We have measured plants a mile away from the hole that have gotten their roots down into the underground water. But you have to remember, these are our super-plants. They grow super-fast, but they wouldn’t do at all well in a real situation. There are no bugs here that attack these plants. Once there are, they will die off like crazy.”

“So why do we plant them?”

“Because they will cover the ground, and the animals will eat them, and then we’ll have something resembling real soil for the other plants to grown on. And they won’t all die off.”

“Did you want to go swimming?” I asked him. “Andrew or your dad could take you. I have to examine your mother.”

“Yeh, sure,” he said, darting off in his shorts and yelling for ‘Uncle Andrew’, which had replaced the awkward ‘brother’ which he had tried for a while.

“Wow, you’re looking pregnant,” I said to his mother as she came in and undressed. “Of course, twins make you grow quicker. Your uterine wall seems to be holding up well, you are using the muscle stimulator?”

“Just like you prescribed. It is very annoying.”

“Well, I’m sure it is, but it will really help when it comes time for birth, and for holding those twins the last few weeks.”

“I know. How are the twins doing?”

“Oh, they are doing great!” I said, looking at the readouts, and then looking at the twins themselves, who were wrapped in each other’s arms. “Heart rates are find, growth pattern is good. They are a trifle undernourished, but that is kind of natural with twins, and they’re handling it fine. I expect them to be born a bit early, but well developed.”

“Oh, good. My husband, I know he seems very distant to you, but he is very excited. I think somehow he thinks it affirms his masculinity to have seeded twins.”

I laughed, “Well, perhaps it does. But they’re fraternal twins, so if you want to get back at him you can remind him that that is because you threw two eggs.”

“No,” she said, getting up and getting dressed. “I’ll let him have his little joy. I wouldn’t trade his grin for anything. Besides, he is oh so solicitous now that I am carrying twins.”

I laughed again, and called her oldest daughter in. She watched as I examined her. “How long, do you think?” she asked me after I finished and she went out to find her brother, or some other child for me to examine.

“A year or so yet, I think,” I said, answering her half asked question. “She’s developing a bit slowly, but I think that is probably good. By the way, I check already, and she should have no problems partnering. I count at least four boys who are getting close to changing who she would be able to partner with.”

“Oh, good. She is going a little slow, but she isn’t worried about it. I guess I’m just being a bit of a mother hen. Besides which, I keep wondering when your sister will arrive.”

10: Forting up

Day 298 or so, check

I had been doing most of my days doing my ‘doctoring’ but I still spent some with Andrew, so I wasn’t too surprised when we showed up together. But what I was surprised by was… June! I said, and ran over and hugged her.

She reached out, with an amused look on her face, “Thank you for the thought, dear, but I’m not really here so I can’t feel you hug. It is nice to see you again, though.

I looked around and saw more and more of my old shift… and my new shift… appearing. Andrew came over next to me and, together, we watched until basically everyone was there. One of the ship crew appeared almost last and we gathered around him. We knew he was the instructor because he was the only one in a uniform.

“Good afternoon,” he said. “You all will be doing a long range sim over the next few days, leaving it only for sleep time. It is a combat sim, against the enemy; but one that is a much more strategic sim than most of you have done before.”

“The ladies,” he said, his gaze still fixed on the boys, “Will be preparing meals and things over there, in those huts. They can get going now.”

We were used to being addressed in the third person like that, and all trooped off. As we went I heard him say, “Now, as for the men, here is what you will be doing…”

“Hey love,” Andrew said, some minutes later. “I have the first hour or so off, so I thought I would come cuddle.”

“Can we?” I asked, “I mean I have work…”

“Go with your partner!” June commanded. “That is the way we work it. When he has time off, you have time off. Take advantage, there won’t be much of it.”

I didn’t exactly want to spend time with Andrew, but, then, I didn’t exactly want to spend time cooking, either, so I let him take my hand (it was important everyone see we were dong our ‘together’ thing). “Where can we go?” I asked.

“Well, not that way,” he said, pointing. “There is a river that way, and that is where the Enemy are. We need to be careful here, too, but just juvies and packs. The others who are off should be coming this way too.”

I looked and, sure enough, there were others coming our way. Or close to our way. It was a nice enough walk, even if I did have to share it with Andrew. “So, what are we doing here?” I asked him.

“We are fighting The Enemy, or practicing anyway. It is a real cool plan. And good for me, too. It uses archers and that is my best skill, you know that. I’ll be up in one of the towers, getting to shoot at The Enemy. Real Enemy!”

“Adults?” I asked.

“Yes! We have this whole big plan. We’re building these towers…”

“Here?” I asked, “I thought you said there were no adult Enemy here?”

“Not quite here,” he said. “We are making the bricks here… you want to see?”

I could see that it was what he wanted, so I agreed, and, pulling my by the hand, he took me back to the work area. “Look at this,” he said.

There were a bunch of boys, stripped to their shorts, all digging up dirt and putting it in these skid barrows. Other boys were dragging these barrows over to this great big machine, which was where Andrew had taken me. There other boys were shoveling the dirt in.

“What does it do?” I asked.

“It is really cool. It is high tech way of doing low tech. It takes the dirt in, mixes it really well with water, and the squishes them really good.”

“Them?”

“The bricks. Look.”

We went to the far end of the machine where other boys, including Martin, were taking a bunch of bricks, big bricks, about as big as my head, out of the end of the machine and taking them over to a field they had cleared. “You see, the machine squishes almost all of the water out, so they dry pretty quickly. In a couple of days we should have enough to make the first tower.”

“We’ll take them over to near where the adults actually live, and build these towers, where the archers, like me, will start killing adults.”

“Ok, but why? Just to kill them?”

“No, no. We are going to build a whole bunch of towers and then we will build this big wall to block off The Enemy here from The Enemy downstream.”

“OK, but why?”

“Well, we’re going to kill all the Enemy upstream, and then we are going to put something in the water that will keep The Enemy from using the water to breed.”

“What?” I asked, blushing but interested in the same time. How could you prevent…?

“It is some chemical, and if we put it in the water so the boy enemy can’t tell boy enemy from girl enemy, so they won’t be able to breed.

I stared at him in amazement. “Really?”

“Yes, apparently they only tell by smell, or something. So, anyway, the boys will all get frustrated and go further downstream, since they will think there are no girls here, and then we can go downstream and do the whole thing over again. Except we won’t, this is just a sim. But they are thinking this is something that will work on an enemy planet, so we are kind of testing it, the combat part.”

“So… not much fighting, then? Just archery?”

“Oh, no,” he said, looking at me with a very concerned look. “The archery is just the beginning. Once we start building the wall I’m sure that there will be plenty of hand to hand combat; and plenty for you to do with your surgery. You should get plenty of practice.”

“I don’t want that kind of practice!” I said, thinking of all of the poor boys. He turned and looked at me, very seriously,

“You need all of the practice you can get,” he said. “Just think, one day it might be me, one of our offspring, or any of our team that you might be saving.”

I walked alongside him in stunned silence. This was hardly the Andrew I knew. I wondered if this was part of his depression about his lack of skills; and he was trying to make it up by pushing me forward. I hugged him, which he returned… and I think I was successful at getting his mind off his depression, as he turned us back into the woods and we cuddled for the rest of his hour off.

“Food, anyone?” I asked, coming up into Andrew’s tower a few days later.

“Thanks, Aliya,” Greg said, keeping his eye on the window. “Just put it down there. Andrew, you can take a few minutes off to cuddle with your wife. Seth, you can eat. Then Aliya will have to go back and we can rotate around.

“How’s it going?” I asked Andrew, a few minutes later, as we sat in a corner of the stairs, as far away from the others as we could get. I didn’t feel at all bad having this time with Andrew, as all of the other partners had already visited and, from what I heard, had their time to cuddle as well.

“Good,” Andrew said, his mind not really on my question. “I killed one today. It was kind of gross.”

“Gross?” I asked.

“Yeh, we have packs and Juvy’s coming around and waiting and every time we kill an adult, they move in and eat the body. How are you doing?” He asked.

“Oh, fine,” I said. “Mostly boring. But I’ve got my surgery pretty well set up, and I have been allowed some sub-sim time to work on my techniques.”

“Great, he said. “We start the wall tomorrow.”

“I know,” I said, and subsided into silence and some serious cuddling. I knew. Tomorrow would be my first day as a ‘real’ surgeon, in charge of other people and people’s lives, at least in simulation. Tomorrow I would move from short simulations to long, and ugly, surgery… blood, guts, screaming, nakedness… tomorrow it would all start.

Greg, as leader, needed to talk to us: me as surgeon, and the other girls, who would be acting as medics, nurses, that kind of thing, but, of course, since we were girls, he had all of our partners present so he could honor, at least in image, the rule that he wasn’t supposed to be talking to other boy’s partners. “We are almost ready to begin our attack. Aliya has set up the surgery here, under the shadow of this tower. And no,” he said, to the laughs of several of the girls, “Not just so she can cuddle with her partner. We figure this is the safest location for the surgery.”

“I will be assigning two groups of boys to the surgery. The first, commanded by Adam, here, will be foot soldiers, dedicated to protecting the surgery tents. The second, commanded by Allen, will be runners and stretcher bearers, taking injured boys back here from the front line.”

“I will be in charge of the overall operation here, and I will be up in the tower for the most part, where I can see everything going on. One warning that I have is, if I order an evacuation, everyone will have to leave right away, and not try to evacuate all of the wounded, the ones that can’t walk. Remember if we get the girls away, we can bring them back to do more surgery. But if you all get killed, then we will have no one to bring the boys to.”

I quailed at that thought. “Are there any questions?”

I could have spoken at that point, since Andrew was right there, but I didn’t have any questions. I looked at my team, but none of them seemed to have questions either. So I just shook my head and he dismissed us.

The boys, except for a couple of runners, left. Some of the girls had partners among the runners or guards and so I dismissed them to cuddle. I would find Andrew myself in a moment. I looked at the girls I had left. They were all trained largely in first aid, except for a couple with more advanced skills. “I know you know this,” I said, “so this is as much for my benefit as for yours, but a reminder. I only get the red cases, or yellow cases if I have time. Green and black have to wait until after the battle, or get dealt with by a first aider or advanced aider.”

They nodded, they all knew that.

“OK,” I said, “If you can’t cuddle, nap or whatever. The runners,” I said, not speaking to them directly, “will give us a warning if there are wounded coming in, and the fort will warn us if there are Enemy anywhere near.

Andrew appreciated my coming, and we got in a good half an hour of cuddling before I heard a cry, from the tower actually (we were cuddling next to three other couples on the stairs), “Wounded coming in,” the boy said, and with a sigh and a last, long, kiss, Andrew left me.

“What is it?” I asked, as I came into the tent.

“Oh, oh, it’s horrible!” Jane said. “It’s Julie’s husband and it is just horrible.”

I sighed, and, using my best voice, tried again. “Report!” I snapped out.

She straightened up a bit, slowed her breathing, and tried again. “We have a patient ma`am who is badly injured.”

I sighed. I loved Jane, and she did wonderful with Grant, but this was not her strong suit. “What type of injury?” I asked. “What class?”

She screwed up her eyes. We had gone over and over our surgery classifications, but they were still tricky at times. I knew that Beth, my advanced aid, was already stabilizing the patient, so I wasn’t in a rush. Finally Jane, with a horrified look on her face, said, “Black class, ma`am.”

“Very well, then,” I said, turning to go back to Andrew.

“But Aliya,” she said, grabbing me by the arm, “It’s Julie’s husband. You have to do something for him.”

I sighed, and went to look. It was, indeed, horrible. An Enemy had obviously gotten close enough to bite him and his entire right shoulder was gone. “Can you help him?” Jane asked, clinging to my arm.

“Not now,” I said. “That is hours of surgery. Beth and the others will stabilize him and, if he lives, I will work on him after the battle.”

I turned to go again but she caught my arm again, “But that will be hours!” she said.

“Yes, probably,” I said. I sighed and went back to the stretcher. Julie, her face all over tears, looked up…

“Oh, Aliya, can you do something?”

“Not now, Julie, you know that.”

“Ooooh, oooh,” she said, and turned back to her partner and gave him another drink from our ‘strong liquor’ bag. He gagged it down and looked at me.

“Good thing this isn’t real, eh?” he asked. “Or my cuddling would be definitely handicapped.”

He laughed, but I could hear the pain in his voice. “Keep drinking,” I said. “If you live you will need it for all of my sewing, later.”

I turned away to go, and Jane wasn’t the only one who looked at me with a hurt look. Embarrassed I fled off to my ‘office’ and spent a few useless minutes re-arranging my supplies. Finally I could waste no more time and went back to Andrew.

“Easy case?” he asked me, as we settled back down into the stairway.

“It wasn’t a case for me,” I said, avoiding the subject. He wasn’t really interested anyway and returned to his cuddling.

As time went on, and on, however, I felt worse and worse. No other injuries came in. I could have been… no, I couldn’t, I told myself. You wouldn’t have been near done by now, and then, when the real work came in, you wouldn’t have been ready. Beth will do all that needs done. She probably isn’t even working on him anymore. Finally Andrew noticed my nervousness. “What’s up?” he asked.

“Oh, nothing,” I said. I actually probably wouldn’t have minded telling him, but not with the others around. He squeezed me and looked into my face. “Nothing,” I repeated, looking around at the others.

“Later?” he whispered into my ear.

“Yeah, later,” I whispered back.

“Everybody up!” Greg said, suddenly. “Looks like we have a bit of an attack coming in.”

I hurried downstairs, arriving with a dozen other girls, some of them out of breath and disheveled. Since no patients seemed to be arriving just at that second I went off to see how Julies husband was doing. Beth met me at the door, “He died a few minutes ago,” she said. “He’s already resurrected and on his way back to the front lines. I let he and Julie spend a couple of minutes together, but he left when the alert was called.”

“Was it bad?” I asked.

“Pretty bad. Pretty painful, and we just couldn’t stop the blood loss.”

“I should’ve…”

“You should’ve done exactly what you did, and you know it,” Beth said. “Now pull yourself together, we should be getting casualties soon.”

“I…”

“You’re the doctor. Cool, calm, collected, impersonal… that’s your job. Don’t worry, you get bloody enough.”

“I…”

“Doctor,” a girl said, hurrying up. I knew her name, too, if only I could think of it. “We have our first case, and he has a slashed artery.”

I hurried off and, The Creator be blessed, it was a ‘red’ case. Indeed it was a simple one. The enemy had gotten a good bit on his left arm, up above the elbow and, in spite of my nurses best efforts, the blood was still spurting out. “Clamp,” I yelled, and some girl handed me one. Seconds later I had had the artery clamped. “Scalpel,” I said, and soon was busy getting the flesh cut back enough to allow me to work at the artery…

“There,” I said, ten minutes later, “I think that will hold. Keep an eye on it though.”

“Can someone else close,” Jane asked, from my elbow. “Beth is calling for you in the next room.”

This was a good job for Jane, I thought. Right up her alley… running messages. Jane wasn’t really here, of course, not in full sim. She was just doing glasses and gloves. But it worked well enough. “What do you have, Beth?”

“Bowel,” she said to me, and I cursed. Not out loud, of course. We were trying hard to attempt to keep someone alive with a bowel wound, given the very basic equipment we would have to work with in the field. But it needed to be tried, and we had some nice new techniques… new primitive techniques. “I have it resected,” she said, holding it out to me. The wound itself, in the flesh, wasn’t that bad. And it wasn’t that bad a bowel nick.

I took the bowel, after washing my hands in our feverwash, and Beth, beside me, started barking orders for the abdominal wash. As I cleaned and closed the bowel I washed them. This was the technique… basically filling and emptying the abdomen with feverwash over and over again, hoping to both rinse out all of the bowel contents lost inside there and to prevent bugs from growing from what was left.

It was powerful stuff, the feverwash and, as we all knew, not exactly pleasant stuff. The boy, at his other end, was moaning and vomiting powerfully. Vomiting was good, actually, as it meant he would have less stomach contents to move down into the bowel. Who knows, we might save him. Although he himself would probably rather die quickly than live through this.

The bowel finished I put it back in, rearranging the contents a bit to fit in in, and checking to see that nothing was kinked or anything. The other girls finished their washing, and I began cleaning and sewing the outside wound. I had just gotten started when Jane, clearing her throat, said, “When you’re done Julie really needs you…”

I looked at Beth, sighed, and she took over…

“Ooooh,” I said, letting the hot water play over me that night. “I don’t think I have ever been so tired.”

“And yet all you did was stand there,” Andrew said, watching me. It was one of ‘those nights’. I still can’t tell you how he knew, but it was ‘OK’ for him to watch me tonight. He wasn’t even all that ‘interested’ either. I think he was exhausted as well.

“Stand there working frantically, and then move to the next room and do it all over again. I don’t think I finished a single patient all day!”

He came in the shower and started rubbing my shoulders and then my back, while I moaned in pain and pleasure… my shoulders hurt abominably. “Tension, my love, tension,” he said. “This was good practice for you, but you need to remember it is all simulation.”

“All too real simulations. And the emotions of the other girls aren’t simulated. Higher, please,” I said. His hands had been straying lower and, while I knew we were going to go there, I really wanted his hands back on my shoulders. He really was strong, this my partner. “Oh, yes!” I said, almost screamed, when he got back to my shoulder. My right shoulder was almost on fire.

“Well, that’s true,” he said. One thing I really liked about him is he could keep working even while talking. I tended to forget what I was doing with my hands (annoying him mightily) whenever I got interested in what I was saying. “we boys don’t tend to do the whole ‘relationship’ thing much.”

“Higher, please,” I said again…

Day 300, morning

I had been expecting it since forever, but the beep and the red light still took me by surprise. So much by surprise that I just stood there, staring in shock as the door opened. “Oh, Aliya!!” June said, coming over to me and pulling me out of the booth by main force. “Oh, Aliya, I am so glad for you!”

I cried. It was too much. It was just way too much. Yesterday, last night, I had almost been able to forget who I was partnered with, but now… now I was carrying his baby! Someone who had signed up just to force me to partner with him and now… oh, I cried. How could I…?

“Come here, dear,” June said, pulling at me. I thought she was taking me to the separate room where all of the pregnant women simmed, but instead she pulled me over to a corner, forcing me to sit and then sitting right next to me. The girl in charge of the booth, a bit bemused, sent a girl over with my robe and, when I was decently attired, June started in.

“You really need to talk to me, dear,” she said, in a voice that brooked no opposition. “What has happened between Andrew and you? It has been horrible to watch. The two of you were doing so well, and then that one morning…”

“He isn’t who you think he is,” I said, trying, and failing, to keep my voice down. “He… he…” I shut up, appalled. He was my partner, how could I betray his confidence like this. He was the father of my…. I broke down crying again.

“I know exactly who he is,” June said, her voice harsh. “But all I would need to know is that he is the partner The Creator assigned you.”

“The Creator?” I said, “The Creator didn’t assign us. Some computer back on New Texas…”

“Don’t blaspheme, dear, no matter how upset you are. Of course The Creator picked him. The Creator is in charge of everything, and He certainly took care to give Andrew exactly the helpmeet he needed. So you can be sure that’s who you are.”

“But what about me?” I wailed, getting glances from other girls…but I was beyond caring.

“What do you mean?”

“What about me? Does The Creator care who I get for my partner?”

“Of course He cares, didn’t I just say that?”

“No, you said that I was the right help-meet for him. But is he right for me?”

June looked at me as if I had suddenly started speaking Greek. “But dear, The Creator… He… He made you to be Andrew’s help-meet. How can there be anything more right for you than that?”

“I…. it isn’t fair, I said, petulantly.

“Fair? Who said anything about fair? The Creator isn’t ‘fair’. If He was, we would all be dead. But He is just, and merciful. And you need to pull yourself together and start being obedient, or you are going to have a horrible pregnancy. Pregnancy is hard enough without fighting against The Creator the entire time.”

“I….” I hiccuped several times, “but how can I?! You don’t know who he is!”

“Yes, yes I do, dear,” she said, very quietly. “He told Martin the whole story right after his letter. And Martin yelled at him, I can assure you. Not telling you all that time! But he is your partner, and your lord. And you need to act like it.”

I stared at her, my eyes wide. “You knew?!”

“Yes, dear, Martin told me, of course. We have been hoping that you two would reconcile. Is that really all you are upset about?”

“Well, yes,” I said. How could she accept this so casually?

“Well, that was silly of you,” she said. “Here you are with a group where half the men have committed quite deliberate crimes, a couple of them even rape, and you are worried about a partner who, stupidly and foolishly, perhaps, joined the Colonization Force just to avoid the humiliation of final choice… and then lied about it? You work with Jane and… well, I know you know some of what she goes through. Now, tell me honestly, does Andrew ever do things like that?”

“No!” I said, appalled, thinking of how patiently he had rubbed my back last night. Well, sort of patiently. But he rubbed it for an hour or so before we had moved on to bed play, and he had even started that by rubbing my legs!

“Well, then, stop complaining and stop whining and start being a good partner. If nothing else, for your child. It will soak up all of the emotions between you like a sponge.”

“I… I never thought….”

“No, you didn’t,” she said. “So start now. And stop using your old name, it is just an insult to him. Haven’t you noticed how everyone else has changed?”

I stared at her. This wasn’t what partnering was all about! Sure my parents had loved each other, but they had always kept to the rules. My dad had never insisted that my mom…

But this wasn’t Andrew insisting. He had insisted on some things, some spiritual things. Praying together, headcoverings… but he had never insisted I take his name. He had always turned his back when I wanted him to. He had never… but this wasn’t Andrew. This was June, and she was just talking to me. This was my spiritual ‘mother’ and she was telling me that I was sinning, big time. But how could I…?

“I need to get you in sim,” she said, probably taking my silence for rejection. “You are late already. A good reason, but you’re late.”

Finally she took me into the room, the room where the pregnant women were. They looked odd, with their gloves and goggles, all moving around oddly. Of course, the girls in sim suits always looked odd as well, but this was, well, different… since they were mostly wearing their robes or uniforms. “Ok, get up here,” June said, taking me over to one spot on the floor. I didn’t really have to get ‘up’, it was just a circle on the floor… kind of a dull grey. I stood on it gingerly, but it didn’t move… despite the fact I saw it rolling freely under the feet of the other girls as they ‘moved’ about. Once I was there she handed me the gloves dangling from the ceiling, and helped me put on the left hand one… once my right hand was already encased. “This will be very odd for you,” she said. “You’ve probably gotten very used to regular simming. You won’t be able to feel anything except with your hands, and you will be able to see this room as well as the sim. We do that because the moving circles aren’t omniscient… every once in a while someone steps off one. Ready?” she asked, and handed me the goggles.

“Aliya!” Andrew said, spotting me where I stood, blinking in confusion. This was odd! And I felt unsteady on my feet, although that was probably an illusion. “What took you so long?” he asked, hugging me… which I did my best to return. I could at least feel him with my hands… it was bizarre not to feel him against my chest. “Are you OK?”

“Yes,” I said, “very, very OK,” I said… and he looked confused but Beth, who had been standing nearby listening and, truth be told had probably seen me come in the sim room ‘through a glass darkly’ came up and hugged me,

“Oh, Aliya!” she screamed and, my poor partner still looking confused, a dozen other girls came over and hugged me. “She’s pregnant, you silly,” Beth said, and, finally, his face lit up.

“Really?” he asked and then a shadow of fear crossed his face.

“Yes, really!” I said. “Isn’t it wonderful?” I asked, hugging him again.

“Yes… yes,” he said, fear still evident in his face. I changed my hug into a kiss, doing my best to make it a very, very intimate kiss (which was very hard without any feedback) and I moved my hands into a ‘cuddle’… yes, right in front of everyone. I certainly wouldn’t be the first person to do it, although he and I never did. I did my best to watch his face (not easy with that kind of kiss) and I saw him relax. I assumed he moved his hands, too, but I couldn’t really tell. This new sim was annoying!

Once everyone one left us (which our cuddle definitely helped with, it was kind of a standing rule that you ignored people who were cuddling or ‘otherwise engaged’) he whispered in my ear, “Are you OK with it?”

“Of course,” I said, “haven’t we been trying?”

“Yes, but…”

“That’s over,” I said, decisively. “Forget about that.”

“But…”

“I said forget about it. I think I have the right to make that request. If you don’t think so we could ask Martin.”

“Ask Martin?” he said, his face paling, “but…”

“He already knows,” I said. “June gave me a big lecture about it, and how I was behaving. So, I’m sorry already and if you could, please, stop talking about it and kiss me again.”

He did, and he did, but of course I couldn’t feel any of it. “How’s the battle going?” I asked, as he walked me over to my surgeons tent after our kiss and cuddle (none of which I felt! This new sim was annoying!!)

“Well, it’s a lot harder than we thought it would be,” he said. “They, the enemy, seem to have some kind of territorial instinct thing, so whenever we kill some of them, more move into that territory to take their place. So we’re basically having to just build the wall through constant battle.”

And we didn’t know about this territorial thing? How did the computer know?”

“We don’t quite know. It could be it is just a testing thing, or it could be that the computer knows how to model the enemy behavior but not how to tell us about it. Anyway, it is what we have to deal with.”

This was a sim, of course, so time could have basically stood still during our absence. But we were working with three separate shifts so the battle was always raging. “Aliya,” Jane said, from where she stood by the door of my tent, “congratulations and we need you…”

Andrew laughed, then turned and whispered in my ear, “I need you too, never forget that. And I love you.”

“I love you too,” I said, willing my heart to mean what I said, and to act on my will. With one last kiss (and, I think, he did something intimate with his hands, but I couldn’t feel it, he left for his tower, and I left for my tent.

I felt really guilty when I saw him next. I had missed two whole break sessions, due to an absolute overload of patients. Cuddling was sure not to be fun for me, even if I did manage to scrape together the desire for it, but I knew Andrew would miss it. And, coming right after the announcement, I was sure he would worry that I was doing it on purpose.

“Andrew?” Greg said, “I finally gave him a break, since you didn’t come. But it’s OK, you two can still have time.”

I looked around, “But where is he?” I asked. Greg laughed,

“He’s over the edge,” he said, and pointed. I looked and, sure enough, there was a rope dangling over the edge. “What on earth is he doing there?” I asked, going and looking down. “Andrew?!” I called.

He looked up from where he dangled, several feet below me. “Oh, hello love, coming,” he said, and putting something in his pocket, he climbed up the rope.

“Whatever were you doing?” I asked, helping him over the edge.

“Come, and I’ll show you he said, taking me by the hand (which I could feel) and running me down the stairs. “Come, come look…” he said, dragging me outside.

“What, what am I looking at?” I asked.

“Look!” he said, sounding triumphant and turning me around. I stared. At the tower. At… “The New Texas Flag?” I said.

“I couldn’t think of what else to draw, but I plan on doing more. Do you like it?”

I could hear the excitement in his voice, so I would have said I liked it anyway, but I did like it, actually. The tower, before, had been all boring stone, and now it was… I dunno how to say it. It was more alive, more personal, more like something in the middle of a war should be.

It’s great,” I said. He admired it for another few seconds, and then began admiring me. I still couldn’t feel any of it!! After a few minutes he stopped, “Are you OK?” he asked.

“Yeah, fine,” I said.

“You don’t seem to be, ummm…”

“I can’t feel any of it, with this new sim,” I said.

“What?!” he said, stopping and sitting up. “Why?” he asked.

“I am only wearing goggles and gloves,” I said. “I can feel you with my hands, though,” I said, grinning at him.

“But, then…?”

“Look, almost all the other girls are in the same situation,” I said. “They manage, we’ll manage.”

“But…” he said, and I kissed him to get him to shut up.

Day 344

The next two weeks were such chaos that I didn’t have a scrap of energy for anything except duty. Andrew stopped, without my even saying anything about it, turning around for showers, and I enjoyed his frank admiration even while I struggled with keeping my emotions under control. It made our evening routine quicker though (I’ll let you figure out how and why on your own) which I was glad for as I needed all my energy for my work. I learned tons more about surgery than during all my classes, and we even had an outbreak of some horrible rash (which I never got, and wouldn’t have felt anyway) that we, after a long struggle, figured out was being caused by some plants that the boys were always having to go through. Andrew caught it really bad, and the computer even had one boy die when the leader (without asking me, I can assure you) had them burn the plants. He inhaled the vapor and was dead, from the reaction, within minutes. I’m afraid I got a little disrespectful toward the leader just then, but Andrew later asked forgiveness for me.

The battle went fine. We won, anyway, and got our wall extended all the way to the river, put the chemicals in, and all that. Andrew could tell you more, I was mostly busy with surgery and all.

So, anyway, it was two weeks more of sim and two weeks before I had energy for anything. So it was two weeks before, after actually delivering one girl of her baby, before (after showering and taking a short break) I got a look at the statistics board. “June?” I said, “What’s up with the board?”

June never did pay much attention to the board, but came over when I called and looked at it with me. “What’s different?” she asked.

“There’s a bunch of people missing!” I said. I had actually been looking at Andrew’s ranking, which showed him rising steadily over the last two weeks. I guess he was doing really good in this sim. But what I had noticed after that was, “There are a whole bunch of people that have dropped out of the rankings. Julie’s partner, for example.”

“Oh, haven’t you heard? They’ve been assigned. They’re ship crew now. They moved, what was it, two days ago?”

“Ship crew? Really?” I wondered how I felt about that. I didn’t really think I wanted to be ship crew. I didn’t know what I did want. I always assumed we would be colonists. Most people were. I had been afraid that we were to be soldiers. Most of the infertile couples were assigned that duty, for the disgusting if understandable reason that if they got killed no breeding power would be lost. “Are they assigning anyone else yet?”

“Not that I’ve heard of. Ship crew is probably the first since, you know, we are already on board ship. They can get to work right away.”

That made sense, I supposed. I looked again at the standings. Poor Andrew. He was moving up but, like he said, he really wasn’t ‘good’ at anything. His overall ranking was OK, but none of the individual ones.

Ironically it was later than, when Andrew and I were on our way home, that I ran into Julie herself. “Wow, Julie,” I said, “look at you!”

She did look good in her grey’s. Good, but harassed. “Oh, hi, Aliya. Nice seeing you.”

But I was having none of that, and grabbed her by the arm. “How is it going? What’s it like being ship crew?”

She stopped. “Oh, it’s great! My partner especially he likes it. It’s how we got in, you know, he’s really good at ship handling. We’ll be getting to go back to New Texas to shuttle people up and down, and I’ll like that, you know, getting to see my folks more often.”

That did sound good. I hadn’t thought of that. I had another question, though, “But… how is the life? I mean, the dorm and all.”

She flushed. “Ah, well, yes, that is hard. Really, really hard. My partner he does OK but… my folks were pretty private and all and, well, living all together like that.” She looked at me. “Well, you can understand that. That was always a very hard thing for you, too.”

I nodded my head and, just then, her wristband beeped. She looked at it, paled, and ran off with, “I’ve got to go…”

I looked at Andrew, who grinned. “I guess it’s good we haven’t been assigned yet,” he said. And then, more seriously, “You would have a problem with their kind of living, wouldn’t you?”

“Oh,” I said, breezily, and not at all accurately, “I’m sure I’ll do OK. The sims were really helpful, you know, getting me used to that kind of thing.”

He looked at me out of the corner of his eye, and I flushed. I’m sure he knew I was lying, but what could I do about it? I knew it was necessary, common logic told me that once I thought about it. So, being necessary, I would have to adapt. And it wouldn’t help me to worry about it now, would it?

“Ah, well, sufficient unto the day,” he said, echoing my thoughts in a rather spiritualized manner. “I’m sure you’ll adapt. You’ve adapted to worse things.”

I looked at him. That was the closest he had come to mentioning… my little problem… since I had told him not to. But I guess it was an OK way to mention it. “How did your day go?” I asked him, taking him by the arm.

“Oh, really well,” he said. “I have some art to show you.”

“You do?” I asked, pleased. “How did you get the time?”

“The computer has been giving me more time to do art,” he said, as he reached out and opened the door. “I guess… oh, hi guys,” he said to XXX and YYY, who were busy getting dressed, “How are you guys doing?”

“Just great,” YYY said, tightening his belt over his shirt, “we got word that we are going to be assigned today.”

“Really?” Andrew said, pulling his shirt off. “What to?”

“We don’t know,” YYY said, “We’re hoping soldiers, of course.”

I looked at XXX, as I pulled my own shirt off. I knew that she was terribly disappointed that she wasn’t pregnant, but we both knew that YYY had joined up in order to be a soldier, so she had been as encouraging as she could be. Her face was a study but, overall, she did seem pleased. Of course, it wasn’t like soldiers couldn’t have kids.

“Well, leave us a note or something so we’ll know, eh?” Andrew said, fiddling with his comp pad. “We’ll miss running into you each of your mornings.”

YYY laughed, grabbing XXX by the hand and pulling her toward the door. “OK, ok, so we’re not so fast in the mornings. You don’t have to rub it in!”

They left and, as I finished undressing (I never could bring myself to finish while they were still there, although it was perfectly legal and the computer was probably docking me for it. Julie had been right, I was going to find group living hard. ) Andrew pulled up some new pictures. “Oh, Andrew!” I said, getting into the shower. “Those are marvelous.”

They were, too, I wasn’t just saying that. He had done a series of animal studies, including that wolf with scales thing that we had fought on that one sim. And he had done a koala bear, too, which was one of my absolute favorites.

“So, soldiers eh?” Andrew said, joining me. “Is that what you want?” he looked down at my stomach, as if he could see the baby growing… which of course he couldn’t, even with me naked, I was nowhere near far enough along for that. “Or do you want to do ship, like Julie?”

“I want to go home…” I said, and then, realizing what that must have sounded like, added “with you, of course.”

“Of course,” he said, kissing me. “But seriously, what job do you want?”

“What does it matter?” I asked. “They’re not going to give me a job because I ask for it. And it’s not like…” I stopped, panicked.

“It’s not like I’m good at anything, in particular,” he said, bitterly.

“I didn’t mean…” I started, but that was a useless lie. “I love you,” I said, “and you don’t need to be good at anything in particular. You are good at lot’s of things in general, and that is what colonists need.”

“So you want to be a colonist?” he asked.

“I guess so,” I said, doing my best to distract him from my foolish comment. I didn’t really care, but if I could convince him that he was good at what I wanted to be. “I mean, the colony’s need doctors and midwives, and you are great at colony skills.”

“Well, not great,” he said, but I got busier with my distracting and he shut up.

Day 345 evening I think

“Well, they did get to be soldiers,” Andrew said to me when he met me in the hallway. “I got a message from YYY today. Apparently he and about five hundred other guys were working with the ship types to make them a dorm. We’ll be getting new roommates.”

We did, too, and I was incredibly excited. It was AAA and BBB and little Lydia and the baby. Lydia was excited too, running around her mother’s skirts and hugging my knees. “Aliya,” AAA said, kissing me, “Andrew. We had no idea, we didn’t even bother to look it up. They kicked us out of our room and just told us to come here. It is so nice it is you.”

It may have been nice, indeed I’m sure it was, but that didn’t mean they stayed long to greet us. They were always rather duty bound, AAA and her husband.

“So,” I said, as we lay together later, “one thousand people picked to be soldiers?”

“Yes. That will be all for them, though. We should be meeting their ship in a couple of weeks, and they will be taken off to their advanced training. And then off to the front. But the others, the ship people and all, they should be getting more and more over the next few days, or so I’ve heard.”

It became a habit, over the next few days, for us to gather, each morning, at the board, and see who had gotten chosen for each job. We all knew that, if it was us, we would get told off individually, but there was still that thrill of suspicion that our name would not be on the list. And then, finally, one day…

Day 350 morning

“It seems to have slowed down,” Jane said.

“It seems to have stopped!” I said. “Two couples yesterday, and none today. Five thousand chosen in total. The rest of us must be colonists.”

One thousand in total had been chosen for ship crew, and four thousand for soldiers. How did I feel about that? Not being chosen. Did I want to be a colonist? It was the safest path except for serving on a ship. And, my heart suddenly leapt, I would only have to share a house with my family. Sure, we would be in tight quarters, if the video’s were anything to go by. But it would just be Andrew, I, and our children. I patted my stomach. I could live with that. I would have to but, still, I could live with that. And maybe we would get put somewhere, some forest or something, where it was easy to build.

“I have to get to work,” I said to June and went and got on my glasses and goggles. Appropriately enough, the lady teaching us announced that we would be learning how to make bread with grains other than wheat today. As I kneaded my first batch I sighed, contentedly, to myself. If this was to be my life, I could live with it.

09b: Newton v Aliyah

Mystarrin was sick. Tummy illness. And no, not because she was pregnant. Her partner had the same thing, and I was pretty sure he wasn’t pregnant.

Anyway, she was sick, so Beth and I were sitting together for lunch, discussing the decision, recently announced, that while I would be going on for full surgeon, Beth would be becoming a ‘medic’… the Pathfinder term for a a first line doctor type person… all sorts of hurry, hurry, stuff… quick intubations and IV’s and stuff. And, ironically, we were both happy with the decision.

“I think you would be great as a surgeon,” I complained.

“You will be great as a surgeon,” she said. “I will be a great medic. I like it, actually. I like the rough and tumble better than the long hours of detailed work.”

Just then the teacher sat down across from us. “Discussing my decision?”

“Yes, ma’am,” Beth said, while I just looked embarassed.

“You’ll do fine,” she said, looking at me. “You poor New Texans, always second guessing yourselves. I suppose it comes from all of your silly feeling based culture. Imagine just choosing a partner, choosing a life work, all based on your own feelings.”

“Well, Beth and I didn’t get our partners that way,” I said, a bit miffed.

“Oh, no! You two did even better. You two tried to avoid your duty to society, to the human race; and got caught. Seriously, did you think that the CF would let anyone with your skills go off to… what was it… be a writer?” she asked, looking at me. “Or a chemist?” she asked, looking at Beth. “Not that there is anything wrong with being a chemist, mind. There are far too many books, unimporant books, but I suppose New Texas needed chemists. But you could have still done that while partnered and producing children. Here we are at war, and we need every child we can get, and you were wasting your most fertile time.”

“You always knew you were going to be a doctor?” Beth asked, while I fumed.

“Oh, yes. Well, since I was six, anyway, when my aptitude tests showed I would be good at it. Even before then my chosen studies led that direction. Your education system is so inefficient. Why, by the time I was six I could name every single organ in the human body, and had a good idea of their function. I liked art, too.”

“How efficient is that?” Beth asked, a bit aggressively.

But the teacher only grinned at her words and leant forward, “The human is more than just a collection of cells. Even we cold unfeeling Newtonians know that. Art is ‘efficient’ at reaching the human soul.”

She sat back and meditated for a minute, “You silly New Texans wouldn’t think we were so cold if you saw my partner and I in bed,” she said, grinning. “But do you really want to try to defend your bizarre system? It seems to me it is neither fish nor foul, Human or Bn. The CF came to NT, which had no desire to join, and had to twist your arms to get you to do the right thing. And then they had to give you a whole bunch of ‘exemptions’ and things. It seems, to me, like the CF has perverted your whole society.

Several of the other girls had stopped their conversations to listen to what we were saying, but they didn’t say anything, leaving it to me to say, “I don’t think so! Sure, the whole recruiting, culling, finishing school is not exactly NT. But you yourself pointed out how much we adapted it to our culture. And the rest of our culture is our own.”

“As if being ‘New Texas’ wasn’t artificial enough,” the teacher scoffed.

“You can’t tell us that being Newtonian isn’t artificial!” I said. “The whole thing was invented from the ground up. No one on Earth ever had a culture like yours.”

“And your partnerships, how is that not artificial? Having some computer pick a partner for you?”

“I can’t imagine marrying a husband I hadn’t even slept with,” a voice from the end of the table said, and we all stopped, shocked. It was Rasine. We all knew her story, their story. A ship crew from New Sparta, her husband had died of an accident with the power plant just before they had arrived on NT, and she had gotten a cull for a second husband: a very nice, and very overwhelmed, boy from the Dallas area. She had been forced to give up her ship position and, grossly pregant and with a two year old, was now with us studying to be a midwife, and probably going to have to change assignments to colonist or something.

“You say your husband is good in bed,” she said, into the silence. “How would you know, when you have never had bed play with anyone else?”

“That’s… that’s just awful,” Beth said, spluttering. “I can’t imagine…”

“Of course you can’t imagine,” Rasine said. “Nor can the Newtonians, or most of you. For all their boast of logic, they still can’t imagine trying out a husband before marrying him. You wouldn’t buy anything else that way, buy the first thing on the shelf without trying anything else.”

“Human relationships are not like toothpaste,” the teacher retorted. “Unlike material goods, human relationships are diminished when they are shared… human sexual and bonding relationships. A husband, like a child, is not something you should just ‘try’. Unless one enters fully into the bonding relationship one hasn’t bonded at all. And to fully enter and then pull out is to deny the very fruit the relationship is supposed to produce, to refuse the deepest and fullest blessing.”

The New Spartan blushed, I’m not sure why, but continued gamely. “Sex doesn’t always need to be about bonding. It can be about experimentation and friendship.”

“The sexual relationship is profoundly different from all other relationships,” Beth quoted, straight out of Gruden’s (although they had called it ‘the intimate and private physical relationship between two partners’). “The bonding that it accomplishes, regardless of the partner’s intent, is one of the most powerful of human actions, and should not be…”

“But how can you know that if you’ve never tried it with more than one boy?” the New Spartan asked.

“What?” Andrew said, when I told him about the conversation that night. “That’s crazy!”

“Well, I thought so too,” I said, as we fooled around in the shower together. “Have you… do you often have conversations like that?”

“About sleeping with girls before you get a partner?”

“No. About different cultures. Hallycone… you remember that. And now Newtonia, New Sparta…”

“Oh. Yeah. We don’t have many people from different cultures, but we talk about it. The Hallyconers know a lot more. New Texas is kind of out of the way, but they get a lot of traffic, a lot of visitors. New Spartans, Newtonians, practically all of the different planets come down onto Hallycone, almost like the whole ‘vacation’ thing worked out for them.”

“Really?”

“Well, they don’t make that much money off it, but, still, they get some. It really helps with the exemptions and all.”

“So, what do they talk about?”

“Oh, different food, mostly. You know guys.”

“Just food?” I asked. “I know guys.”

“Guys whose every word is being recorded on the computer. Food, some about clothes. I told everyone about…” His voice trailed off.

I blushed, “You did?”

“I, ummm, you told me you had…”

“It’s OK, I guess,” I said. “I just hate teh thought of all of those guys thinking about… about me…”

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s OK,” I said. “Just don’t do it again.”

“Hopefully it won’t happen again!”

“With them as roomates? YOu’re kidding.”

“What did the guys say?” I asked, after a few minutes.

“Say?”

“About what happend to us?”

“Oh. Well, they laughed, obviously. And then they started telling their own stories… mostly the Hallyconers. This one told a story about This time that some Rihayalans had to stay a few days on Hallycone, and they absoloutely freaked at the dress code of the women. There was almost a riot!”

“What do the Hallyconers wear? I mean, I know they aren’t freaked but, what, do they swim in the nude? Like, in public? They way they treated me…”

I dunno how they swim,” Andrew said. “This was just their regular, walking around, clothes. They had put the Rihahalns in a stadium, the CF had. But the Hallyconers hadn’t locked any of the doors or anything, so the Rihalans wandered ‘downtown’, saw the women, and freaked.

 

 

 

 

 

09: Aliya, MD

We were two months into our new shift when the announcement came over all of the computers, as part of our morning assignment message:

Vessel dropping into Hallycone orbit at 1600 universal.  Expect new recruits.

Unlike NT Hallycone, being very small, had to basically hold all their recruits, prisoners, and culls until the ship came through… once a month, I think.  I had heard that they had an enormous party, once a month.  On NT that would have meant barbecue, on Hallycone, wet-bamboo grilled fish.  I would have loved to try some but, of course, it wasn’t like we were going down.

Our shifts were all fouled up, of course, and 1800 universal was the end of our sleep shift.  And so, at 1750 it was our turn to get walked in on, with me in the shower!

In the millisecond before I turned around, trying to act casual, I saw that it was a boy and girl, almost certainly from Hallycone, with their arms around each other and the boys eyes gazing at me.

“Hi,” I heard from behind me. “I’m Fenta and this is my partnere Mystarrin. I guess we’ll be sharing your bunks. We just got in and they sent us right here. Didn’t expect such a nice view!”

“Nice view!” I heard and turned at Andrew’s voice, turned just in time to see him launching himself at the Hallycone boy, who caught his arm and twisted him in some fashion. Andrew, his right arm held, tried to hit out with his other arm, but the boy grabbed that too.

“Andrew!” I shouted, running over at him to pull him off while the other girl, Mystarrin, grabbed at her own partner.

But Andrew ignored me, and I was soaking wet so my arm kept slipping off. The two boys struggled back and forth and, finally, Fenta sort of tripped over Mystarrin and we all stumbled, as a group, out into the hallyway.

I struggled to keep hold of Andrew and pull him back. “Andrew, calm down!”

“How dare he!? Andrew said, seeming to notice me for the first time. “How dare he say… Aliyah??!”

I looked where he was looking and blushed. Then I looked up and saw several couples and one grey suited boy all staring at us, at me.

With a shriek I darted back into our room. My training in ‘nakedness’ hadn’t innured me enough to be able to be stared at, naked and dripping, in the middle of our hallway. Blushing I hurried over and dried and pulled on a robe and then, finally, turned around.

Andrew was alone, and the door was closed. “How could you!” I shrieked.

“He… he was looking at you. He said, ‘nice view’, meaning you! How could I stand there…”

“They’re from Hallycone! You’ve been doing the training vids just like me! You know they swim naked half the time, or mostly naked, anyway, and showere in their back yards and all!”

“That doesn’t mean he should… should talk about it!”

“They’re probably used to doing that. Don’t you boys do that? Talk about girls?”

“Not in front of them!”

“Well, maybe they do…”

I stopped as there was a tentative knock at the door. Andrew, glowering, opened it. “I… ummm…” the boy said, but Andrew interrupted him,

“We have to get to our class now,” he said, and stormed out. I gave them an apologetic look, but followed him without saying anything. Indeed I could hardly even look at the boy.

Day 68, morning

Still blushing from the incident I hurriedly was examined and put on my suit.  I was fully expecting to come out and see Andrew, and whatever world we were training on, and was a bit bemused to find myself alone in a large, metal room.  A room with harsh, artificial light.  I wasn’t alone long enough to get really freaked out though as, just a few seconds after I arrived girls started appearing here and there in the room (looking at me as curiously as I looked at them) and then, finally, a soldier dressed girl appeared in the front of the room.

“Good morning,” she said, as soon as we appeared.  “Today is an exciting day for me.  So far, all of our time together, you have been doing basically ‘basic training’.  This is important, of course.  We have no idea, yet, what kind of work you will be doing… colonist, soldier, space.  But regardless, you all needed the ‘basic training’… and of course it is helping us determine what you are good at.”

“But, as I say, you have had your ‘basic training’.  And that will continue.  But for some of you, particularly you here today, you will be adding to your basic training some advance training.  In your case, medical training.”

I looked around, to meet the other’s shocked looks.  In my wildest dreams I had never imagined this! “You each have shown aptitude for the training that you have received so far, and we think you can learn much, much more.  As you know, the life we will be living will, for the most part, be extraordinarily primitive.  And so your training, while the best we can give you in the short time we have, will focus mainly on very primitive fixes… and such more advanced tools as we are able to more easily give you.  For those of you going into space, combat, or even trailblazing, your training will go on past that, eventually.”

She paused and I tentatively raised my hand, “Ma’am, what do you mean by ‘medical training’? We don’t have that long before we arrive at our assignements, or that’s what I understand. What kind of training…?”

“That depends. Some of you will be going on to be full field doctors. Others field paramedics. It depends on your apptitudes.”

“So… so if we do go on to be doctors, how much time will that take?”

“Oh, we’ll have you finished by the time we get to your assignment.”

She saw the looks were were giving each other. “You probably have a wrong idea about two things: firstly what a CF doctor is, and secondly you underestimate our training.”

“Firstly a CF doctor has a lot less book knowledge than his groundside peers. For one thing because we aren’t so bound by history. Our computer diagnostic tools are so much better than they used to have that it is foolish of us to try to stuff so much knowledge into a doctors head.

What we do ‘stuff’ is knowledge into their muscles, and muscle brain connections. It used to be that doctor could only see very few of a certain type of surgery or procedure before having to do it, and do very few before they were considered proficient.

With our CATPRT system this has completely changed. Your sim suits not only know exactly what your muscles are doing, but can force them to do the right thing from the beginning. So when you learn you never move a muscle wrong, until your muscles are trained. Then it starts relaxing control until you do the thing automatically.”

“So each skill that we will teach you will be well taught… but not overtaught. In the old days a tech might start one hundred IV’s before doing one NG tube. So they might have well learned the IV stystem, and be poor at inserting NG’s. Not with our system. Our system learns when you have something down and moves on. And it sees when you don’t have something and repeats it. And refreshes whenever you are in danger of forgetting or falling out of habit.

So, to make a long story short, you will learn very well and very quickly, but not nearly so much ‘book knowledge.’

“Now, to begin, we will be doing study in anatomy.” Suddenly the room flickered and we were each standing in front of a table with a sheet covering… “You have each been given a cadaver.  Don’t worry, it isn’t really a dead person, but a simulation.  But it is very well simulated, and all of the anatomy is correct, and very detailed.  In fact, being simulated means you will be able to zoom into any level of detail that you need to examine various structures.

Working with these cadavors will train you not only in knowledge of the anatomy, but of the kinds of cuts, sutures, and the like that you will need for your medical work.

Now, if you would, take the sheet off of your patient.”

I did, and, just my luck, I got a male patient.  But he was dead, at least, and wasn’t likely to ask me to ‘love’ him, so I didn’t have to compare him too badly with Andrew.  The instructor began discussing ‘gross anatomy’ (a term I thought very appropriate) and I was soon lost in the details of all of the way the body worked.

We had barely touched ‘gross’ anatomy and yet two hours had passed.  “Well, I don’t know about you, but I need a bit of a break,” the instructor said.  “Wash up and the break room is in there.”

We washed up and followed her and, sure enough, there were some tables, one of which had some food on it.  The instructor wasn’t there, however, and we all, after taking some food, looked around a bit awkwardly.  I don’t think anyone here knew anyone any more than I did.  “Hey,” I said, as we finally sat down at the table and I found myself next to a short, serious looking girl with simply enormously long brown hair.  “I’m Aliyah.”

“Beth,” she said, nodding her head at me.

“I, um, we haven’t met.”

“No, I haven’t met any of these girls.  What part of New Texas are you from?”

“Victoria area.  You?”

“A small town near Houston.” There was another awkward pause, and then she blurted out, “I’m a cull, partnered to a young man convicted of fraud.  You?”

“Cull,” I said, almost gasping with relief that we had gotten this part of the introductions over.  I could tell from the way they were looking at us, and almost inching away on their seats, that many, at least, of our classmates weren’t culls.  “My partner was a recruit.”

“Are you enjoying this class?” she asked me.  “I am so excited to get picked for this…”

#

The room had gotten rather quiet, and Beth and I looked around.  There, standing by the door, was a new girl, one that hadn’t been in the class this morning, looking rather confused.  But, when she saw me, she brightened up, “Aliyah!” she said, hurrying over and plopping herself down next to me, “Oh, Aliyah, I’m so confused.  Where are we?”

Everyone was still looking at us.  “Mystarrin,” I said, “this is Beth, and this is medical class.  Or, at least, it will be in a couple of minutes when we get done break.  You should probably get yourself some food.”

She looked around at this and hurried off to the table.  As soon as she was gone everyone started talking, again, and Beth leaned over toward me, “Who is she?”

“New cull, from Hallycone.  Partner some kind of criminal…”

“Oh, Aliyah, I am so glad to be in class with you.  And you say your name is Beth?”

“Yes,” Beth said, rather taken aback by this loud Hallyconer.  Her Ship Talk was almost flawless but her manners were, well, loud.

 

“Did Aliyah tell you how we met, this morning?” Mystarrin asked, grinning.  “Oh, my poor partner, he felt so bad!”

“He felt bad?!” I asked.  “He certainly didn’t act it! I don’t think I have ever met a boy so rude!”

I had spoken way too loudly, and the entire room, again, turned and looked at me.  “Oh, I’m so sorry.  I know your partner was very upset but I… we still don’t  understand.  He… I thought he… what did Fenta do wrong?”

“Well, he shouldn’t have looked at me, for one thing!”

“But… how could he… I mean, there you were… he is a boy!”

“Excuse me,” a girl said, from across the table.  The rest of the girls, embarrassed, had eventually turned away from our conversation but this girl had actually scooshed over closer and was now leaning forward, toward us.  Mystarrin was crying now, and I’m sure my face was red.  This girl had a NT accent but, from her features, I would almost have said she was from Hallycone herself.

“I couldn’t help overhearing, indeed I imagine the whole world couldn’t help overhearing, and I think I might be able to be of help.  You see, I’m from NT, and my father is from NT, but my mother is from Hallycone, and I think I may know what the problem is.”

“Let me guess.  They came, this morning, and walked in on the two of you in the middle of bed play?”

I blushed bright red and stammered out, “No! I was… I was in the shower.”

“Ah, OK, same concept.  And the boy, your partner, he looked at her?”

Mystarrin nodded, tears still flowing down her face.

“And made some kind of compliment?”

“Yes,” Mystarrin said.  “At least, I thought it was a compliment, and I’m sure he meant it that way.  I don’t know what she expected him to say.”

“She’s from NT,” the girl said.  “What she expected was for him to turn around, blush, and stammer out some kind of apology.”

“But, but we didn’t do it on purpose!” the girl said, sounding horrified.

“No, but Aliyah here is from NT, and that is the way they, we, behave when we walk in on someone.  Aliyah,” she said to me, “you have to understand.  That boy, he was probably just as embarrassed as you.  Not in seeing you naked, that doesn’t mean much to those from Hallycone, but from ‘walking in’ on you when you expected to be in private.  And he did his best to apologize.  You see, to a Hallyconer, telling a naked girl, or any girl, that she is beautiful is considered a very polite thing to do.  A little dangerous if it goes too far, but I bet he said something to his own partenere, too?” she asked,

“He didn’t have time!” Mystarrin protested. Her partner attacked him!

“Well, of course he did!” I said. “He was defending  my honor.”

“You… you tried to stop him?” she protested.

“Of course,” I protested, and the girl laughed.

“Oh, Mystarrin! New Texas can be confusing.”

We all stared at her as she explained, “When Andrew got angry at your partner and attacked him, he was doing his job as a NT  male: standing up for a woman, being all chivalrous. Aliyah reacted as she has been taught to, attempting to defuse the male aggression. If there were nothing but NT involved, the girls would have separated the boys, and the boys would have ‘calmed down’… once they knew their girls understood ‘how mad they were’… and the girls would have talked the whole thing out… and then had each other over for barbecue or something.

We all laughed at that last, except Mystarrin. “but I don’t understand why he was angry!”

Hallyconers are rather open about nudity,” the girl said.  “My mother was always getting in trouble about that.  And they are very open about compliments, even very sexual compliments. But New Texans aren’t, especially in mixed company. When your partner complimented Aliyah Andrew took it as if Aliyah was some sort of naked model, for Fenta to stare at.

Mystarrin grew beet red… “he didn’t mean that!!”

“No, but Andrew didn’t know that.”

“So why did he say… what he said?” I asked.

Fenta wasn’t embarrassed that you were naked.  But he could tell that you had expected to be alone, and was trying to ‘make it up’ to you by complimenting you.”

“I can’t tell you how hard it was for my mother, even after years and years amongst us, when people would not compliment her when apologizing.  The NT way of just stammering something incoherent, she always took to be very insincere.  ‘If they really want to build the relationship back’, she would say, ‘they need to say something positive.  Tell me I bake a good apple pie, or something!'”

“Luckily my father was good at compliments and, for a New Texan, rather immodest, so they got along great.”

“I… I…” I stammered out, and suddenly everyone laughed, including me, at my typical New Texan way of being embarrassed.  I turned to Mystarrin, “Let see if we can start our relationship again.  Let me see.  You seem to be a very friendly girl, very nice, have a partner that,” I gulped, “looks very, umm, nice… and I am looking forward to getting to know you.”

Mystariin grinned gain, dried her tears, and said, “Let me see if I can get this right.  I… I… oh, I’m, we’re so sorry for walking in on you… won’t happen again…”

Everyone laughed.  “It’s just like on the videos!” she said.  “There is this video series, ‘The Star of Texas’ and, well, we all like it but we always laughed at this one character who always was getting himself in embarrassing situations and then blushing and stammering and all.  Did I do it right?”

Everyone agreed that she had done it right, and the room went back to break.  “What are you doing here, anyway?” I asked.  “I thought this was your sleep shift.”

“Oh, no,” she said, breezily.  “We were just coming together for our first bed play, and then the computer sent us off to train.”

“Your first… now? Haven’t you been together for a month or so?”

She laughed, “Some of them have, but I didn’t get assigned to my partner till yesterday, and we were too busy at the party to get time for a quiet cuddle.”

“So what are you doing here? I thought this was only for those who had finished their basic training.”

“Oh, I did.  We did.  Hallycone has an awesome set of VR suites, and the CF, since they can’t do what they do with you all, have downloaded all of their programs onto them.  We even have people learning stuff for fun.”

“Oh, Nestin is going to be so upset when I tell him about this morning.  We even talked about it for several minutes before we got started on bed play, if you can believe that.”

“Don’t tell him,” I said.  “I don’t want to make him feel bad.”

“Oh, no, I have to,” she said, shaking her head.  “We need to learn to deal with other cultures, and I’m sure that most of them tend to act more like you than like us… or different in some other way.”

“Well, tell him I appreciate the compliment, then, anyway, even if I didn’t at the time.”

“Oh, I knew that,” she said.

“Say,” I said to that girl, who was still sitting across from us listening to the whole thing, “How did your folks get together, anyway?”

“Just like this, almost,” she said. My dad was recruited, five year term. He has never admitted this, but I think he just wanted to get ‘recruit’ on his resume. He partnered up with a nice girl from New Texas, got her with a bun, and got ‘recruited’.”

They got a month out and she, my dad’s first partenere, started hemorrhaging. It had something to do with the pregnancy and it happened in the middle of the night and she never even woke up. My dad woke up to a pool of blood. It was horrible.

Anyway, they were just getting to Hallycone and they pulled my mother up for him. She still tells us the story. She wasn’t recruited in the regular way. Apparently a couple of CF officials showed up in a jeep in front of her house right as she was about to go to bed. They sat her down, told her the story, told her that they, and the computer, had decided that she would be a great partenere for him.

She told us that she agreed without leaving the couch or asking a question. Her mother was all upset, but she just left, went upstairs, said goodbye to her siblings, and came back, ready to go.

“Wow!” I said, and Mystariin nodded her head,

“I don’t think I could have done that!” she said.

“I know I couldn’t have!” I said.

“I’m Ulina,” the girl said, reaching out her hand.

“You’re a recruit, and you’re willing to talk to us?” I asked Ulina.

Her face fel a bit but she answered, bravely, “Look, we’re all going to end up in the same place in the end, anyway. And have to work together.”

“OK, so regular recruits tend to dislike Culls. Finishing schoolers, always boasting about their education and jobs… not doing their duty to the country… sitting at school while the rest of us wipe bottom… I’m sure you’ve heard it all.”

“And, come on, you’ve got to admit there’s some truth in it. It isn’t like just ordinary people go to finishing school. You’ve got to have something to prove, and some way to prove it. Me, I jumped at the first guy that offered to partner with me. Not that he isn’t a great guy, but I just jumped at him. We…” she blushed.

“I’m sure that I wasn’t the only one jealous at someone brave enough to sign up to finishing school… skipping first choice and risking being culled.”

“You were jealous of me?” I asked. “I mean, not me but people like me?”

“Yeah,” she said. “You’re not surprised?”

“Surprised?!” I said. “Do you have any idea how jealous I was of girls like you? Girls that could say ‘yes’ to a partner… to commit the rest of your life to some guy, to sleep with him, obey him, have his children?”

“Ladies,” a voice came from the doorway, “Time is up, let’s get back to your corpses…”

#

Mystarriin, of course, hadn’t had a corpse but, the computer being what it was, she had one when we got back. She, and a half a dozen other new women that had, apparently, came directly into the room right before we got back. The instructor must have already introduced them to the class because she just had to introduce Mystariin, who ended up right next to me and, right after the introduction, as she started carving, started talking, to me, “So, this is y’alls first day in the class, I didn’t miss anything?”

“Yes,” I said, sort of wondering how being walked in on made us best buddies already. “What do you think?”

“Oh, it’s kind of gross, but I think I’ll like it. I like people, and doing doctor stuff means getting to deal with people a lot, no?”

I guess it did. I hadn’t thought of that. I was enjoying the knowledge bit. This sim was a wonderful way to do this. I could cut and re-cut, and cut here and there and then have it go back together, figuring out how everything worked. I was still embarrassed by my corpses nakedness just staring at me. I would have covered it but… who knows… they might have flunked me for that. Certainly none of the other girls had covered theirs.

“And everyone else is here from NT, eh?” she asked, into the silence.

“Yes, yes,” I said.

“Well, we didn’t bring as many as you did and, well, it is true that most Hallyconers wouldn’t really be up to learning all this. I was considered very odd, back at home. Wanting to learn things instead of wanting to swim.”

“Really?” I asked, startled. I could imagine some of my friends thinking this, but I couldn’t  imagine any of them saying it!

“Life’s too easy on Hallycone,” she said. “Our island was only about two miles across at the widest, and four miles long. So no one was more than a mile from the beach, and most of us a lot less. My house was right on the beach. I would sit there, on the porch, with my reader, and kids from the town would stream past to go swimming.”

“Wow, that must have made it hard to study,” I said, uncovering the liver and staring at the vessels connecting it. Huge blood vessels… which the computer was labeling in mid air, a bizarre kind of sim effect.

“Oh, yuck!” she said and I turned. Yuck indeed.

“You’d better replay that!” I said.

“What?” she asked. “How do I do that?”

Replay wasn’t a common feature of anything but game sims, so I showed her how to get the computer to ‘rewind’ her actions and get the bowel reunited. “Thanks!” she said, as I went back to my corpse.

She kept talking for the next couple of hours and then even she got a bit wrapped up in what she was doing. Several other girls were kind of talkative. But I, I enjoyed listening but couldn’t really talk while I was doing this kind of work.

#

It was kind of late in the day, but I didn’t think it was fully evening, when my world suddenly flickered and I found myself back in the changing room. Pretty much all alone, too. Only Mystarrin was changing with me, and June was there, looking serious.

Aliyah, I’m afraid you are up on discipline charges, she said, once I had my robe on. Mystarrin, you are called to the same hearing, but not under charges.

“I… what?” I said.

“You are up on charges for violating the dress code.”

“I…!!!” I blushed as I suddenly realized what she meant.

Mystarrin and I followed June and she led us down our hallway, then out into the main hallway and for about ten more minutes. She paused at the door of a room, looked at us as if asking if we were ready but she didn’t say anything before keying the lock.

“I bring the accused,” she said, “And the witness Mystarrin.”

Blushing brightly again I moved forward as she moved out of the way. There was a table at the front of the room, at which several officers were sitting. Two in grey and the rest in colors of other branches.

I didn’t have much time to look at them, though, as Andrew was there with a bunch of others, standing to the side of the room. “Aliyah!” he said, trying to come forward and being restrained by a grey suited guard type and a couple of other men, men from our hallway.

“The witness will remain silent,” the man sitting in the middle of the table said.

“I am her partner!” Andrew said, turning to him.

“Noted,” the man said. “Do you need time to speak to her in private? Do you wish to offer her advise?”

“I… no… I suppose not.”

“Aliyah nee Brendon, do you wish counsel?”

“I… I don’t understand,” I said.

“You have been accused of violating the dress code rules. Witnesses have been taken. You will not be asked to testify. Do you wish to seek legal advise before sentence is passed?”

I thought about it. I had broken the dress code, even if I hadn’t done it on purpose…

“Can I ask a question? Of the court?”

The men put their heads together, whispered, and then the head man said, “You may. We will not consider it testimony, so you may say whatever you wish.”

“I… does it make a difference if I did not do it on purpose?”

The head man looked to a man on his right, who, I guess, knew this kind of thing.

“There are three answers to that,” he said. “Firstly, if this were a matter of a true accident, or even an emergency, there would be no case. If the door had fallen off, or there had been an explosion, or even if some illness had presented itself… then your nudity would not be a fault.”

“If you were being accused of willfully presenting yourself nude in the cooridor, as has happened with some cultures, then your punishment would be more severe.”

“What you are being accused of, here, is of a failure to properly control your actions. The witnesses have testified that you were attempting to restrain your partner from offering physical violence in an inappropriate way. He has already been punished for his actions, but his punishment would have been more severe without your actions.”

“However a soldier or other member of the CF must have enough presence of mind to realize where they are at all times. You should have realized that, when the fight threatened to spill into the hallway, your duty lay in obeying CF regulations. The evidence showed that there was no danger of the scuffle becoming overly dangerous… certainly no more than your partner undergoes in his training.”

“Therefore we have ruled that you will be given three lashes, barring any protest you wish to lodge against this punishment.”

Three lashes… and I had been stupid. If I let my emotions carry me away against the BN…

“But it was our fault,” Mystarrin suddenly said. “We didn’t handle the encounter well. We should have apologized quicker.”

The head man took up the talking. “Indeed, you did handle it poorly. This encounter was actually planned by the staff… altho we hadn’t expected it to get this out of hand. All four of you are suffering from a difficulty in understanding alternative points of view.

Andrew,” he said, turning to him, “You are aware that many of the CF cultures view nudity very differently than the NT culture. And that most cultures handle conflict differently. Yet you leapt to the conclusion that Fenta was being insulting of your partner. In general we judge this a result of your own insecurity in your partnership.

Fenta, we know that your training on Hallycone included handling modest culture such as New Texas, New Geneva, or… others. You were aware of difficulties this has made on Hallycone. We do not fault your for trying to defuse the situation, but you will need to work on your immediate reaction of apology.

Mystarrin, we believe you handled the situation well.

Aliyah, let me speak frankly. You are one of the most gifted recruits… well, in your case culls, we have had in a long time. We think that your partnership with Andrew will make one of our most powerful partnerships. You were even chosen, just last week, for medical training.

But in order to use those gifts you will have to develop more situational awareness. A trait you failed in this morning.

Your punishment has been ordered, unless you have further protest.

“I… no,” I said. Three lashes. I suppose I had received worse pain during training. And it was just a neural whip, it would not actually cause any damage…

“I will take the punishment,” Andrew said, startling me.

“What? No!” I said.

“That is your right,” the judge said.

“What?! No!” I said, again, and the judge looked at me.

“As your partner, it is his right. Carry out the punishment.”

I made to move forward, to stop them, but Mystarrin held me back, and a couple of other girls looked like they would help, so I stopped trying. But I couldn’t believe this! Why was he being punished? He had tried to defend me! He had done everything right!!

The punishment was very quick. They had his shirt off and the first lash before I could even really finish my protest in my own head. Andrew screamed and I tried to rush forward again, but the girls were ready and held me back.

When the third lash fell they let me go, and I rushed forward to him. “Oh, Andrew!” I said, coming up and hugging him, then stopping, confused. Did that hurt?

“Well,” he said, hugging me back, “At least I get a hug out of it.”

“Oh, Andrew…”

“It’s not that bad, and it really was my fault,” he said. “Let’s go home now.”

Day 68, evening

I kept expecting Andrew to wince, or limp, or do something, on the way home… still not really comprehending the ‘no damage’ of the neural whip, finding it impossible to reconcile after the pain that I had seen on his face.

“How was your day?” Andrew asked me, as we made it through the door. “I mean, after this morning and before this?”

“Oh… You’ll never guess!” I squealed, glad to change the subject.

“What happened?” he asked.

“I got chosen to be a doctor!” I said. “Or, something medical anyway, and I don’t think a nurse, either. A doctor, or a field paramedic. I’m not sure what those are, but, still, it sounds exciting.”

“That’s what the judge said. How did they choose you?”

“I dunno, they just took us to the class today, first thing, for sim.”

“I noticed you werent’ there,” he said, getting into the showere.  I turned around and took my robe off, hanging it up”So, what did you do?” he asked.

“I had to cut up a dead person,” I said, shivering.

“Oh, yuck,” he said.

“He wasn’t really dead,” I said, “and I get to be a doctor!” I couldn’t control myself any longer and ran across and hugged him.  Which of course got me wet, and so I just stayed in the shower.  But I didn’t care, not today.  Today I was excited. And… and not at all sure how to handle the fact that he had taken what should have been my punishment

We got to bed really late that night, what with talking and duty, and carefully avoiding talking about the punishment, but I didn’t care, I would have been too excited to sleep anyway.

#

“Greetings,” our  instructor said.  “This may seem a bit strange to you, but today we are going to deliver babies.  Our classes for the next few weeks will keep going back and forth.  Once again, you don’t need to worry, today’s patients are all simulations.  Soon, however, we will be delivering real babies.  As you know many women come to us pregnant so we are already busy. But we’ll get a lot busier as time goes on.”

“Now, the most important thing to realize about child birth is that it is natural. Women were designed, by The Creator, to have babies. Men, well, that’s another story, and not one I need to tell you I’m sure. But we women were designed to have babies. Let’s look at a pregnant woman,” she said, and suddenly there, in front of us, was a pregnant woman… naked, of course. Grossly pregnant, too, eight months at least, if I had my guess. “Look inside here,” she said, splitting the woman open with a wave of her hand, and showing us the growing baby inside of it. You probably already know this, but the baby is attached to the mother by a placenta…”

#

“How did today go?” Andrew asked me, that evening.  We had arrived before Mystarrin and her husband had left, but they were dressed, sitting talking. I think Mystarrin actually stayed so she could say hello. We hadn’t gotten to talk hardly at all today, except for break, and I think she was just bursting to talk.

“Oh, I so loved today!” she said, gushing and hugging me, while Andrew and Nestin looked on, grinning.

“I kind of liked yesterday, better,” I said. “Surgery on a dead person is easier for me that dealing with some screaming pregnant woman that keeps telling me what an idiot I am.”

She laughed. We had had a patient like that yesterday, and we had each had to handle her, on our own, before the teacher had shown us how it was done. We had each tried to, you know, defend ourselves. Mystarriin had been practically in tears by the time it was done. But the teacher, working with the patient, practically ignoring the patient while she screamed and cursed her, rubbing her back, encouraging her to walk around.

“Well, we need to go,” she said, reluctantly, with a final hug, leaving me alone with Andrew. I could tell he was hoping for a repeat of yesterday.

“How did it go?” He asked me, getting into the shower.

“OK,” I said. “I’ve had better days, I’ve had worse days.”

“What’s the matter?” he asked, coming forward and putting his (wet!) hand on my shoulder.

“Well, today was all about childbirth,” I said, bowing to the inevitable and taking my robe off and moving with him back to the shower, letting him rub my back

“Didn’t you like childbirth?” he asked, not as distracted as I would have liked by my joining it.

“I loved it,” I said.  “I was just jealous.”

He turned me around, and not so he could see me naked either, but to hug me and say, “You’ll get pregnant! The tests all say we are both fine.  It hasn’t been that long.  Lot’s of couples don’t get pregnant right away.  They say only 85% in their first year.”

“Well, it seems to me like the 85% are already pregnant,” I said, moping.

“Well, we’ll just have to try harder,” he said, grinning, and I slapped him.  But, actually, he liked it when I slapped him like that and pretty soon we were out of the shower and ‘trying’.  But my heart wasn’t really in it.  I was beginning to be convinced that I couldn’t have a baby.

#

That next evening I was surprised, and quite a bit nervous, to see that Mystarrin and I were, again, dismissed early. As soon as I pulled off my helment I looked at June, but she was grinning. “Special evening,” she said.

“What?”

“Both of us?” Mystarrin asked, coming up next to me.

“A special evening, both of you, and your husbands, Room R45, Hurry along.”

Mystarrin and I looked at each other and ‘hurried along’. I knew the layout well enough that I didn’t need directions, and Myst followed me.

“What do you suppose is up?” she asked.

“I have no idea. None of the other girls seem to be  invited.”

“She said it was ‘a special evening’. That doestn’t sound like something work related. Do you suppose Fenta and Andrew will be there?”

“I don’t know.”

“I hope so,” she said, and I tried to decide if I wanted Andrew to be ‘there’ or not. But, if he was going to be there we would have met him, met them, at the door to the changing room, no?

“How far do we have to go?” she asked me.

“It’s quite a ways,” I said. “And we have to go up this ladder.”

 

Up that ladder, then down a hallway, then up another ladder, then to a door, which I opned and… “Andrew?!”

Andrew was standing by an enourmous fire, one of the two in the room.Yes, you heard that right, two fires in this room. It had a high rounded ceiling, with stars or somesuch painted on the ceiling.

“Hey, Love!” Andrew yelled… the room being big and the fire making a bunch of noise. “Help us get ready?”

“Get ready for what?” I asked him, as I hurried over, Mystarrin doing the same thing for Fetna on the other side of the room. “Barbeque!” he said. “We’re hosting a barbeque… and fish steam,” he added, wrinkling his nose.

“We are?”

“Yeah, I got permission from my commander. Our whole group is coming, about fifty people total.  You and Myst need to get the other stuff organized, they’ll all be here in about an hour.

“What?!” I squealed, and looked off to Mystarrin, who was busy talking with Fenta. “What are we having?”

“All the usual… Pork ribs, brisket, chicken… they even had some lamb. You need to get the salads and everything ready.”

“For fifty people?” I squealed. “Where do I get everything?”

“Oh, there’s some fridges back over there,” he said, nodding.

“Oh, my,” I said, hurrying off.

Praise the creator they already had a lot of food all chopped and everything, so throwing together potato salad, coleslaw, and the like wasn’t actually that hard. In fact I got done before Mystarrin.

“What is that?” I asked her.

“It’s our standard fish sauce,” she said. “One of them, anyway. Mayonaisse, pickles and pickle juice, and horseradish. Plus a pepper that we grow on Hallycone. I was lucky they had some.”

I tasted it and kind of squealed. It was kind of spicy, in a very different way.

“you like it?” she asked, as I tried again.

“I might on the fish,” I said. “What are all those?”

“Pickled salads,” she said. “Not that they’ll be that pickled today, I could kill that boy, giving us only a couple of hours to get ready.”

“Andrew said one hour.”

“That’s when the guests arrive. Or start arriving. But the meal will need to be in two hours. Or, rather, she said, glancing at her com, one hour and fifteen minutes from now. Fenta said your partner would have some ‘cracked ribs’ to start with? How do they eat them?”

“Oh, with their fingers. We put them in large bowls…” I suddenly realized that the ‘we’ was me, and rushed off to find the bowls.

Andrew had had the cracker and I had just gotten a half dozen ribs cracked when the door opened and our first ‘guests’ walked in: a couple I hardly knew from our hallway, a different shift.

“Aliyah,” the woman said, and came and kissed me. She was hugely pregnant and we had to lean over her stomach to get the kiss done. “Thank you for inviting us!”

“Well, you’ll have to thank Andrew,” I said, ruefully, he put this whole thing together.

“Oh, you just pass it on,” she said, “the boys are already arguing barbeque technique. I guess Andrew and Fenta have made up?’

“I…” I said, suddenly in my own head realizing that that was what this was, “Oh, yes. They’ll probably end up best friends.”

She laughed, “And you are done blushing?”

I blushed, and she laughed again.

She left a minute later to talk to a friend that had just arrived and I hurried off to Andrew. “Did you do this to make up?” I whispered.

“I guess,” he said. “Fenta and I worked it up together. Surprised?”

“Yes,” I said, kissing him and earning us some cheers. But it had been really well thought of.

 

#

“Oh, Andrew, that went so well!” I said that night in the shower.

“I’m glad you liked it,” he said. “I really am sorry for not controlling myself better, back then.”

“I thought you were wonderful. It is hard dealing with these others, but I think we’ll get used to it. Mystarrin was really fun tonight. I had no idea she could play the guitar!”

I think it was called a ‘lute’, Andrew said. But it was kind of like a guitar, wasn’t it. I love you, you know.”

“I know,” I said. “I love you too.”

As we finished showering I mused on the fact that that was true, and yet I was still furious at him for how he had gotten us together.

Over the next few days we vacillated, but eventually went back to the ‘turn around’ and ‘lights out’ except when I had a particularly good day at the sims… or when he had a particularly bad day.  Which I had learned to tell.

“I’m just not good at anything,” he moped one day, after we got done and he was in his ‘I can’t sleep yet’ mood.  Everyone else beats me in everything.”

“I’m sure you’re not that bad,” I said.

“Oh, come on,” he said, rolling over and facing me in the light of the jungle scene that was our current bedroom wall mural.  “You’ve seen my scores.  I’m not near the top in anything!”

“Well, you don’t need to be.  You aren’t near the bottom in anything.”

“That’s helpful,” he said, grumping.  I held him and, like he always did, he drifted right off to sleep and left me worrying about his problems.  It was true, none of his scores, not that we really knew what they were about, were very good.  Out of the ten thousand people in training, he rarely rose above the 5,000 mark, and that usually only for a few days.  Not that anybody ever complained, and most of our new shift, and most of our old shift, were about the same.

Jill’s partner, on the other hand, was really starring in one of his scores.  They seemed to go up every day.

08: Switching shifts

Switching shifts

Day 29, midnight

Life continued like that for the next two weeks.  I did my duty with Andrew, and he kept his eyes off me.  June finally stopped asking me what was wrong.  Andrew must have continued to do badly in his studies, because his score barely budged.  I did, finally, learn to sleep.  I just pretended that he was some pillow or stuffed animal or something, and he probably enjoyed it.

But I did not enjoy it when, after those two weeks, the computer suddenly woke us up with the light as if we were late.

“It’s only four hours into our sleep shift!” I complained, sitting up and clutching the blanket to myself while Andrew blinked stupidly.

“You are going to be changing shifts and so you need to begin the change today.  Please finish all morning activities.”

Even Andrew didn’t seem to enjoy our bedplay this time, but we quickly finished and showered.  I was too sleepy to even care which direction he faced, and I think he was too sleepy to care (much) either.

I wandered down the empty hall to our sim room, and came in… to emptiness.  That is, there were no naked girls lined up to get in the med chamber.  There was the usual gray suited girl there, who just looked up from her console and nodded at me, “Shift change, eh? I hate those.”

I hung up my robe, “It’s my first.  Do we do them often?”

“Not too often, mostly in the beginning.  They’re messing with the teams a bit, seeing how you react to other girls, how your partner does with different boys.”

“So, any advice on how to handle it?”

“Well, try to be friendly, but don’t break up existing friendships,” she said.  “Shift change is a good time to get close to your partner, as they always shift with you and, for the next few weeks, they will be the only person you know well.”

Oh, great! I got into the chamber, and then into my suit.

“Hey, Aliyah,” Andrew said.  I looked around.

“Where on Earth are we?” I asked.

“It does look like a different sim,” he said, shrugging.  “City life, I guess.”

“Not like any city I’ve ever been in!” I said.

“No, colony cities, I guess.”

We stared in front of us at the extraordinary structure.  Surrounded by a wall, a wall made, it seemed, of stone and mud, the structure was… small.  It couldn’t cover more than a hundred yard, if that, on each side.  But inside that hundred yards there were dozens of structures.  And the smell.

“Come on,” said Andrew, reaching out instinctively for my hand and then flinching back as if burned when I refused him.  “Our bouncing ball leads us forward.”

I followed him, sparing a glance for his clothes, and my clothes.  Right out of a history book they were.  I kind of liked my fluffy dress, but he looked really stupid in those tights things.  I had to admit he was a lot more muscular than when we had first gotten on the ship.  I remembered those first few glances I had stolen at him in the shower…

“Look out,” he said, reaching out and stopping me with his hand.  I looked down…

“Gross! They put that right in the streets?”

“I think there is kind of a gutter thing for it,” he said.

“Still!” I said.

“Bread?” a man asked, yelled really, at me, holding up a loaf from a table in front of him.

“No, no thanks,” I said, accepting Andrews hand as the crowd, which had been coming in and out of the gate, flowed around us and as I tried to avoid getting any of the disgusting flow on my skirts.

“Come, love,” he said.  “Our ball continues.”

I glanced at him, but this hardly seemed the time or the place to object to being called ‘love’.  And besides, I think he thought he meant it.  I pleased him in bed, obviously, and that meant more for boys than for girls, or so I had been told.

“What are we doing here?” I asked.

“I can answer that, actually,” said a voice from besides me.  I jumped, startled.  “I don’t know you, though.  You can’t be new, we left the planet a long time ago.”

“No, no, we’re not new,” I said, talking to the girl.  “We are changing shift.”

“Oh… are you then? Well that explains… that explains why the Smith’s had to leave in mid sim.  Well, welcome to our shift.  We have been doing this sim for a while and it is, well, in some ways it is easy, in some ways it is hard.”

“What do we do?”

“Well, in a word, live… and live on top of each other.  You’ll be assigned some occupation, not too hard, something you can do, and then you… live.”

Just then our little green ball began bouncing away, so we followed it… to a restaurant.  “Ah, good, more help,” the very harassed man at the front desk said to Andrew.  “Your partenere can help in the back, with my partenere, and you can help me up here, setting and serving tables.  The napkins are over here…”

I followed his hand to the back, where several women were busy ‘cooking’.  “Ah, more help?” a woman asked, looking at me quizzically, but coming forward and kissing me on both cheeks.  I guess that was the greeting for this city.  It was better than that primitive sim where the boys (thankfully not the girls) spit on their hands and then shook them.  “You are new?”

“Shift change,” I said.

“Oh,” she said, nonplussed.  I guess it wasn’t common for them, either.  “Well, anyway, we are happy to have you.  How long will you be staying?”

“The computer said twelve more hours.”

“Oh, then you’re on C shift.  Half the people here right now are on C shift.  I’m B shift myself, we get to sleep in about four hours or so.  Anyway, here is what you need to do…”

She set me to work, chopping onions.  I had the standard pack on my back (did I still want that to be a real baby?) but otherwise the work wasn’t hard.  Suddenly I felt a pull on my skirts.  I looked down, “You new?” The small form asked.  It was a little girl, who looked to be about four years old.

“Yes,” I said.  It was the first time I had seen a child on board ship, except for June’s baby and an occasional small boy or girl hustling past me in the halls with his mother or father.  It was certainly the first time I had gotten to talk to one.  “We just came today.”

“Why?” she asked.

“This is my new place to be for right now,” I said, which was easier than saying that the computer, or whoever programmed the computer, had assigned us. .

“Cutting onions?” she asked, going on tiptoe to look onto the table.

“Yes,” I said, “Do you like onions?”

She wrinkled her nose and shook her head, and I laughed.  “I didn’t when I was little either; until I found out that they made spaghetti with onions.  And spaghetti was my favorite, so I decided I liked onions.”

#

“I like spaghetti…” she started to say, when a loud bell clanged out over the town.  Everyone froze for a second, and then went back to work.  But the lady who had met me when I came it came over to me, “Dear, we have to assign someone, some girl, to the walls, and as you are the newest and know the least about what we are doing here, I wonder if you would go.”

“Sure,” I said, putting down my knife gratefully.  “What’s going on?”

“Take off your dress,” she said, hauling me over to a corner, and handing me a very plain dress covered in blood stains.  “Quickly.  Don’t worry, the men never come in here.”

I glanced around and had my dress off in a couple of minutes… it being of a rather different type than any I had worn before.  I slipped the new one on while she talked.

“It is an attack.  All of the boys will be on the walls, and we will have to keep them fed and all.” She started tucking cloths into my waist belt.  “But you and a couple of other girls will start by taking water to them.  The water is over in that barrel there.”

“Attack?” I asked, “By what? The enemy?”

“Oh, no.  This simulation has no enemy, or, if they are, they are too far away for us to worry about.  But there are these other animals, kind of like wolves, only worse.  They hunt in packs, and they hate people.  They come out in the late afternoon and hunt till almost midnight… it is weird.”

“Ah, OK.  What are the cloths for?” I asked.

“Oh, those, we will all have those.  Those are for injuries.  These animals have a mean bite, and their claws are almost worse.  They can jump really high, so stay away from the edge of the wall.”

“Got it,” I said.  “Another combat scenario.”

“Well, sort of.  But this is more a question of living together, of getting along.  You’ll see.”

Wondering, I left, going by the barrel and picking up a bucket.  It took me a while to find the way up the wall, which was a ladder.  Getting up the ladder was difficult, but I was very glad she had had me change, it would have been impossible in the other skirts.

Stay away from the edge? The whole wall was only a meter wide! I came up right behind two men who were yelling and thrusting with some kind of spear.  At least, one of them was, and the other had a sword, a very short sword.  I crept along behind them… against them, really, but they paid me no mind, and then, not able to resist, I leant forward…

“Aaah!” I screamed, leaping backwards, dropping my water, and almost falling off the wall.

“Careful lady!” the man with the sword said, pulling on my shirt and rescuing me from a very painful fall.  “They can really jump.”

Really Jump indeed! I had only seen it for that flash of a second, and I had mostly only seen his mouth, with it’s enormous, jagged, teeth… but it had been very like a wolf indeed.  Well, except for the scales.

“Water?” I asked the man, who was still holding on to me.

“Naw,” he said, letting go.  “Jack and I just got onto the walls.  Maybe along there, there were a couple of guys that had been on the walls for a while, they might be thirsty.  We all will be eventually, though.  Just make the rounds.”

I nodded, and, after going back down for another bucket of water, began walking around.  Sure enough, as he had said, there were a couple of men aways along that were thirsty.  And then, a few feet along, I met Andrew.  He was standing behind some sort of shield thing and he had his bow.  It was his best weapon, I knew that.

“Hey, love,” he said, sparing me a quick kiss.

“Water?” I asked, him, holding out my bucket.

“Not now,” he said, “thanks.” Suddenly he drew back an arrow and fired.

“Did you get it?” I asked.

“I hit it,” he said, but I don’t think I hurt it.  The scales make it difficult.”

“I guess so,” I said.  “Well, I have to go on.”

I hadn’t gotten another four steps before the man in front of me, just before I got to ask him whether he wanted water, jerked back from the wall, screaming.  I ran forward…

“Can I help you?” I asked him, and then screamed myself, as something heavy landed on my back.  I heard yelling, and then felt blood streaming down my shoulder.

“Aliyah? Are you all right?” Andrew’s voice asked me, just after the weight was lifted off my back.”

“I, I don’t know,” I said, staring at the blood.  It was a strange color… I felt myself all over.  “I think so, was all of that from him?”

“Yes, I hope so,” he said, examining me.  “You’ld better help him, though, he said, pointing to the man underneath me.

“Oh, oh, yes,” I said, and took one of the rags off of my belt and began wiping, and then tying it on, his arm.  He had a very nasty slash… I think it got one of his arteries.  I watched as the cloth got tighter and tighter and then, finally, the blood flow stopped.

“Oooow!” he said.  “I hate these creatures.”

Just then the men in front of us stepped back simultaneously, almost stepping on us both.  We scrambled to our feet, I trying to gather my things, and he holding his hand.  “Will you be all right?”

“Getting down the wall is gong to be a bother, but I’ll be all right.  The women have a clinic downstairs, someone will practice their sewing skills on me.”

I shuddered at the thought, but, gathering my stuff I went on.  Twice more men wanted a drink, and then another man got hurt, this time far in front of me.  The men around yelled for me.

This one was worse.  He was clutching his stomach and blood was oozing out around his fingers.  “Let me see,” I said, but he shook his head.

“Don’t bother,” he said.  “We’ve both been here before.  Just help me get out of the way so I don’t bother the others.  You could get me something to drink, if you like.” He looked down at my bucket, “Something stronger than that.”

I nodded, helped him into kind of a corner, and rushed off down the ladder.  “Drink?” the lady at the bar asked.  “Oh, for the walls.  Yes, we have a supply, we keep it right here.  These skins are easy to handle, and easy for the men to drink from.”

“Thanks,” I said, and took it and rushed away.

“Thanks,” the man said, when I gave him the skin.  I looked at him.  I wanted to do something else, but he just waved me on.

The attack ended an hour later.  I learned that we had killed three of the creatures, and driven off the rest.  “there were a dozen easily,” Andrew said.  I got some good shots, but I don’t know if I hurt them at all.  They are very difficult to hurt.  Did you do OK?”

“Yes, but… that man got  hurt.  That was hard.”

“Well, you’ve seen death before.  Simulated death, anyway.”

“Yes, but always you or me.  Never anyone else.  Somehow it was different.”

“Huh,” he said.  “I never thought about it that way.  Well, I guess we need to get back to our regular work, anyway.”

We climbed down the ladder, in the middle of a group of others, and went off to the restaurant… which was suddenly very popular.  “Oh, good, you’re back,” the lady said, looking even more harassed.  “Those onions are still waiting for you, as is my daughter, who seems to have taken a liking to you.”

I looked and, sure enough, there was the little girl, standing by my table, looking at me hopefully.  “She is kind of lonely, poor thing,” the mother said.  “She just has her little brother to play with.”

Well, I liked children, especially girls, so I was pleased to get back.  It turns out she liked stories, so I set her up on the table and told her several that I knew.

“Tell me about you,” she said.  “What is your story?”

“Oh, there is nothing interesting about my story,” I said.

“Do you have any sisters?” she asked.

“Yes, two little sisters,” I said.  “And three big brothers, and two little ones.  One I haven’t even seen.”

“How can you have a brother you haven’t’ even seen?” she asked.

“When I was culled, my mother was pregnant, and she didn’t have the baby before I left, so I haven’t even seen a picture.”

“So how do you know it is a brother, and not a sister?” she asked.

“Because the doctors have a little camera that they can use to look in and see.”

“Oh,” she said, nodding.

“Aliya, dear, could you debone this meat for me?”

I looked at it.  “That’s not…”

“Oh, no, dear.  Vile stuff, that meat.  This comes from a thing kind of like a deer.”

Well, better kind of like a deer than kind of like a wolf, I thought as I started to cut it up and little Lydia started to tell me how much she liked some dish made with this particular meat which her mother made… and which didn’t, at least she thought it didn’t, include onions.  I only understood about half of it but, as it turned out, it was what we were making, so I got to learn how to make it (and it did include onions) and got to taste it, as did Andrew.  They gave the two of us a few minutes together to eat, which was nice.  It was kind of lonely, here, without all my girlfriends.

Suddenly, after a few hours of working, my ‘ball’ appeared. “Oh, guess you gotta go,” XXX said. “Next part of life here.”

The next part was a meal in a different resteraunt, with Andrew. “How was your time ofn the walls?” I asked.

“I didn’t die,” he said. “Those scaly wolves are nasty things. They attack in  packs. No idea why. It’s not like they get to eat any of us. They guys think it is a territorial thing. We interfere with their territory.”

“How do the people live here, anyway? I mean, I know this is a sim but, if it weren’t?”

“The wolves, bizarrely enough, are very diurnal… the only come out during the day. The people here do a lot of work at night. Logging and all. Food is a bit harder, but the wolves can’t eat Earth animals, and they don’t eat vegegables at all, so they don’t touch the fields. They have some tall towers out there at the fields, too tall for even these leaping stupid wolves. This food is good!”

I laughed. “You’ve got the same recipe we were making at the place I was working. I had it earlier. That’s the reason I had this steak. It tastes like pork, but then a lot does, eh?”

He laughed. “Isn’t it about time for our shift to be over?” he asked, and suddenly the world flickered, and changed… and we were standing, together, in a bare metal room with that Newtonian lady.

#

“Take your helmets off,” she said.

“You are going to be undergoing a new simulation today. As has been explained to you, community living within the CF often involves very tight sleeping quarters. So, for all new inductees, especially those from a society such as New Texas, we have a sim designed to simulate this. But, unlike most sims, this sim cannot legally be done in a sim suit. Come here.”

We both walked awkwardly into a small room she took us to… awkward in our suits. “This is where you will be sleeping for this sim,” she said. It was a tiny room with a cot in it. “As soon as you remove your suits I will turn on the wall sim. I am required to inform you that no human will review this sim. The computer will monitor your behavior only to measure how well you adjust to these tight quarters. But no human will be able to review your sexual activities, or listen to your private communications.”

She stopped and we stared at each other, and then, reluctantly, took off our suits. “No shower?” Andrew asked, his voice tinged with embarrassment.

“No, this is a primitive sim. I will bring your suits back to you in the morning. Have a pleasnt evening.”

She walked out the door and, as it closed, the walls lit up and I gave a squeal, as we were suddenly ‘in’ a large room, divided up by blankets. Around  us we could hear dozens of voices, all ages, babies crying and the like. Our little area was divided from the others by hanging blankets but they were kind of droopy so we could see out quite a bit and…

I ducked down onto our bed, blushing. No one had noticed our sudden appearance but I wasn’t wearing anything and the man in the next booth, the one who was yelling at his son well, I could see him so obviously…

“Well, this is different,” Andrew said, sitting down next to me and, well, staring at me. “But, remember, they aren’t real people. That lady said this was all  a simulation. In fact, she was a simulation, you know.”

“What?” I asked, turning to him.

“Yeah. Would have been against the rules, otherwise. Outside of our room she couldn’t have stood there and watched me as I dressed. And, from what they tell me, a Newtonian would have smirked at me as I undressed, this  one didn’t even bat an eye. Just a simulation. Like everybody here.”

“I… yeah, I guess we got to get used to this,” I said, my brain still overwhelmed by the sounds from around us. “You didn’t seem to be OK with her watching you,” I challenged.

“Well, yeah, I mean…”

I laughed, and hugged him, which he really enjoyed.

 

 

 

 

 

<fix>

“Time to go, love,” Andrew said, coming up behind me and squeezing me, in the way I used to like, just a while ago.  “The next shift is here.”

They were indeed.  The shift that had left soon after we had come were back from their sleep shift.  It was good, I was groggy tired.  “How much sleep do you think we will get this time?” I asked.

“Well, I think a full eight,” he said, “Minus shower and all.” He squeezed me to show me how much he appreciated the ‘and all’.  He tried, anyway, but I just couldn’t for get that, if he had run a little less quickly, he would now be dead, executed.  I had to carry on though…

<have them ‘sleep’ in the new city>

#

Day 30, morning

It had been a hard evening but I had concentrated on the idea that I was being graded and that these ‘people’ were all fake and had done, I thought, a pretty good job. Andrew seemed pleased, anyway. I hated not getting to shower, though, and using this awful chamber pot thing, which stunk.

Little Lydia was delighted to see me when I made it to my ‘work’, running over to me and hugging my legs. “Aliyah!!” she said.

“What are we doing today?” I asked.

“You can do some serving,” her mother said. “How was your night?”

“Long and noisy,” I said, breezily, trying to convince the computer that I hadn’t minded sleeping with all of those  other people just a blanket away.

“Well, our breakfast cereal is in the pot there. If you could take bowls of it out. It’s what everyone will be having, so just bring it out.”

“Yes, ma’am,” I said, grabbing a tray and some bowls…

The ‘wolf’ attack lasted for  hours that day, and three boys got killed, although not Andrew.  I delivered water for part of the day, but got to cook most of it.  When we were just finishing Lydia’s mother came over to me, “We’ll see Aliyah tomorrow, too, Lydia,” she said, and I looked at her,

“Tomorrow is break day,” I protested.

“Yes.  I checked, and you are assigned to our break day.”

My face must have fallen, and she said, “Surely you realize that you couldn’t go to your old break day while on our shift.”

“I guess I didn’t think about it,” I said, and sighed.

“We have a very nice group,” she said, patting me on the arm.  “And Lydia will enjoy having you.  She has taken to you so well!”

I bent down and gave Lydia two little kisses.  I wasn’t sure where on New Texas these people were from, but wherever it was the girls all did a lot of kissing of each other, and a lot of greetings overall, and I didn’t want to stand out.  Not that I had gotten to know hardly any of them, except Lydia and her mother.  “See you tomorrow, then,” I said, and Lydia duly kissed me back, smiling.

“How was your day?” Andrew asked me, as we sat down to our evening meal.

“Fine, Break day tomorrow,” I said, “With a new group.”

“Yes, the men were discussing it.  Apparently I will have to participate.”

I stopped and looked at him, “What?”

“Yes.  That is their way.  Each man brings something. Their ‘pastor’ talked to me.”

“What are you going to bring?” I asked.

“I haven’t fully decided,” he said; which I suspected was a slight untruth to cover his nervousness.

“Well, I’m sure it will be good,” I said.

“Want to go on a walk before bed?” he asked me, when we had finished eating.

“In that forest?” I asked. “And get eaten?”

“Nah, I asked, and the simulator will turn off the danger so we can have some private time together. They say that even in the worst of settings we should be able to find somethign to do alone.”

“Oh, well, yeah. That should be great.”

 

 

#

Day 31, morning

 

We woke up in that little room. It had been a very long night. Very long. I think they program had turned ‘up’ to test us. And then, of course, we woke up naked in that room, with that simulated Newtonian standing there with our uniforms. And this time she smirked… “You’re right, young man, I am just a simulation. But thank you for the information on how you determined that. I was meant to be a test for you.”

Andrew just ignored her, and she went on, “You may go back to your room to prepare for break day. The information for it’s location will be on your wall screen.”

It was wonderful to shower that morning. Wonderful. And we both spent a long time in the shower, and talking through the last night.

It was a much longer walk to this break day room, and, for some reason, I was very nervous.  We were almost there when we met up with Lydia and her mother; along with her partner and their son, who he was carrying.  “Good morning!” Lydia’s mother said, as we all went through the greeting rituals.  They were dressed in their robes, and Lydia and her mother both had headcoverings on.  I was surprised by the robes, but I suppose it was legal.  The rules were you could wear, or not wear, anything in the break room so I guess it was all right.  And the robe had to be easier for her to nurse, I thought, looking at their son.  He was a little old, but a lot of mothers continued well until two years old or more, nowadays.  My mother had always thought that was strange, but it was all the rage on New Texas right now.

But my surprise at seeing them was nothing compared to when we got into the room.  They were all in robes! And all the women were covered; their heads, that is.  A little nervously, Lydia’s mother came up to me with headcovering, her partner walking alongside of her.  “It is our custom,” he said to Andrew, “All of our women are covered for service.”

I looked at Andrew, appalled.  I had never, ever, worn a headcovering.  Well, that wasn’t true, I had worn one to a friends church when I was smaller.  But we didn’t…

“She will wear one from now on,” he said, shocking me with his authority.  He had never, before, presumed to give me orders although, by the rules, he could.  Surely he should have left me to decide… I realized that everyone was looking at me and, not willing to create a fuss no matter how much I didn’t want to wear this stupid thing, I quickly put it on and tied it.

“We can begin now,” Lydia’s father said, and everyone began sitting down.  I saw, we saw, almost immediately that it was not going to be like our service.  First of all, everyone was sitting in a great big circle.  Secondly, the partners were sitting together! That was never done in our area.  Kids, sure, they could sit with either parent, although most sat with their same sex parent; but once you were ‘of age’ you never sat with the opposite sex in church!

Andrew, who I’m sure had never done this either, took it in stride, however, and led me to an open spot… with two couples squooshing over a bit to let us in.  He kept his arm around me, which I found doubly distressing, but, looking around, I saw it was the regular rule.  All of the partners had their arms, or hands, on, or around, their partners in some fashion.  I leaned against him, put my hand on his leg, and waited to see what other bizarre things would happen here.

“I’m sure we would all like to welcome the new couple, Andrew and Aliyah Tome’.”

I opened my mouth to protest, but shut it with a snap, glaring at Andrew.  But he just looked placidly on as the leader continued, “They have joined us from another shift, and are both from the area around Victoria.  I have examined Andrew and his doctrine, while different in points, is still, I believe, acceptable enough to allow him to speak in our meetings.  I have warned him to be ready, as their meeting did things a bit differently.”

It sure did, I thought to myself.  The next part of the service wasn’t that odd, as the leader got out a computer board and began a sermon on I Peter 3:15.  It was a short little message and, when he was done, he led us in a hymn: a rather familiar hymn to me.  Then he passed the computer pad to the next man, who, himself, gave another message.  It went like that until it came around to Andrew who, very nervously, pulled up a passage and read,

Psa 86  Bow down thine ear, O   LORD , hear me: for I am poor and needy.  Preserve my soul; for I am holy: O thou my Elohim, save thy servant that trusteth in thee. 

Be merciful unto me, O   LORD : for I cry unto thee daily.  Rejoice the soul of thy servant: for unto thee, O   LORD , do I lift up my soul. 

For thou,   LORD , art good, and ready to forgive; and plenteous in mercy unto all them that call upon thee. 

Give ear, O   LORD , unto my prayer; and attend to the voice of my supplications. 

In the day of my trouble I will call upon thee: for thou wilt answer me. 

Among the elohim there is none like unto thee, O   LORD ; neither are there any works like unto thy works. 

All nations whom thou hast made shall come and worship before thee, O   LORD ; and shall glorify thy name.  For thou art great, and doest wondrous things: thou art Elohim alone. 

Teach me thy way, O   LORD ; I will walk in thy truth: unite my heart to fear thy name.  I will praise thee, O   LORD my Elohim, with all my heart: and I will glorify thy name for evermore. 

For great is thy mercy toward me: and thou hast delivered my soul from the lowest hell. 

O Elohim, the proud are risen against me, and the assemblies of violent men have sought after my soul; and have not set thee before them.  But thou, O   LORD , art an Elohim full of compassion, and gracious, long suffering, and plenteous in mercy and truth. 

O turn unto me, and have mercy upon me; give thy strength unto thy servant, and save the son of thine handmaid. 

Shew me a token for good; that they which hate me may see it, and be ashamed: because thou,   LORD , hast holpen me, and comforted me.

My heart was beating out of my chest by the time he finished but, when he looked up from the computer, he didn’t look at me, but at the leader.  “This Psalm has been very meaningful to me, recently.  I have sinned, and sinned greatly, and hurt people around me, people who I love.  This Psalm is encouraging that, even as I still have to live with the results of my sin here in this life, I can still look to The Creator; both for comfort here and for His final, everlasting love…”

I listened, unsure whether to be angry or… or not.  If he was asking for my forgiveness, he wasn’t going to get it.  And what else did he want from me, anyway? I did my duty, didn’t I? And I held his hand, and cuddled, and did that kind of thing to make him look good in public, didn’t I?

His ‘talk’ was mercifully brief and he suggested a Hymn and we moved onto the next man.  But I paid him no attention, being far too busy with my own thoughts and emotions.

“That was a nice message,” the leader said, coming up to us after the service.  “I sense you had your heart in it.”

“Yes,” Andrew said, briefly.  “I have a question for you.”

“Yes?”

“The dress code.  Not the headcoverings, I understand that, but the robes…”

“Ah, well, that was a decision we made the first week.  You see, we like to emphasize the Sabbath as a day of rest.  And it seemed to us that our uniforms were very much a representation of our ‘job’… so to come to our Day of Rest in our uniform, well, we thought it wasn’t properly symbolic of ‘rest’.”

“I see,” said Andrew.  “Well, we will certainly follow your lead…”

We would? Come to Break Day…? I looked around.  Well, it was us that stuck out now.

It was funny.  They sat together during the service but now, now that service and lunch were done, they sat apart… the boys in one group and the girls in another.  Andrew had taken me into a corner, however, and I sat on his lap, his hands slowly busy.  I relaxed.  I was used to this, anyway, even if I still didn’t care to have him do it.  I knew how important it was to him.  And besides, I was sleepy…

“Wake up, my love,” Andrew whispered in my ear and I sat up with a start.  A couple of the girls looked at me with grins on their faces.  Let them try changing shift.  “It’s time to go home and… go to sleep,” he said, with chuckle.

Home, I couldn’t sleep.  Andrew, after doing his duty, did though.  We were so cuddled up I couldn’t move, which added to my frustration.  I couldn’t stand him, but there was no way to be rid of him.

07: Letters from home

Letters from home

Day 15, evening

I was incredibly excited about getting a letter from home, so much so I was almost bouncing around our cell.  I wasn’t too distracted not to notice that Andrew wasn’t so excited.  “What’s up, love?” I asked him, clinging to his arm, as we waited for the countdown.  “Didn’t you like the letter we sent?”

He brightened up, “Oh, no, that was great.  Much better than anything I could have done on my own.” His face shifted, again, “It’s, well… you’ve never met my parents and… well… I hope you like them.”

Now I was nervous.  He was clearly lying.  The couple of times he had tried to lie, so far, I had quickly caught him.  He hated it when he had done poorly in training and, twice so far, had tried to cover it up.  I had quickly caught it, and challenged him on it, and he had stopped trying.  But I had no idea what he was lying about now.

I glanced up at the clock.  We still had twenty minutes.  “You want a quick cuddle?” I asked him.

So it was that twenty minutes later we were pulling our clothes back on (the letter was entirely one way, of course, but somehow neither of us wanted to face our parents undressed).  The timer counted down and the two letters popped up in our inbox.  “Yours or mine, first?” I asked him, trying to be cheerful.  Our time together had barely distracted him, and I was now totally freaked out.

“Yours!” he said, quickly, and I relaxed a bit.  At least he wasn’t worried about my parents.  I reached forward and pushed play…

“Oh, Aliyah!” my mother gushed.  She stood with my father, my siblings, and what looked like all of our extended clan, including half a dozen nursing babes, and her face was just alive with excitement.  “Oh, Aliyah I was so excited, I just couldn’t believe it when we heard! I so wish I had been there, to give you the salute.  Oh, Aliyah! I’m so looking forward to hearing all about him…”

Andrew pushed play, a confused look on his face.  “Your mother is excited that you got culled?” he asked.

“No, silly, she’s excited that I finally partnered.  Hardly a day went by when she didn’t hint that if, you know, I partnered, then I would get to start having children, and how exciting it would be to have the boy in our family, and all of that.  She is very, very New Texan, my mother, and believes that life starts at partnering… or maybe the first birth.  She’s a midwife for our church, actually.  Not the main one, but a backup one, and a duoula.”

“Oh,” he said, and pushed play again.

It was an incredibly long letter.  My mother gushed about my getting partnered, gushed about Andrew… although when she had written the letter she hadn’t even known his name, gushed about the baby she was sure I was already pregnant with… but if not, don’t worry dear, it will come soon enough.

Then each of my siblings, and cousins, and cousines, etc.  all got their say.  After they were all done my father came forward.  “Well, Aliyah.” He paused.  “The Creator bless.  Bless your partner, and serve well.  And know that we will always be praying for you, and all yours.”

So saying he bowed his head and, the clan getting almost silent for once, prayed, indeed, for me, Andrew (‘Aliyah’s partner’), our work, our children, our elders…

When he finished, he reached forward, and the video stopped.

“Well,” I said, into the silence.  “Shall we play your letter now?”

“I guess,” said Andrew, flatly, and pushed ‘play’.

#

The scene couldn’t have been more different.  The room this letter was in was empty, except for what was obviously his father and, standing behind his father, looking nervous and upset, his mother.  And his father was looking stern, almost angry.

“Andrew!” his father said.  “I hope that you are going to let your partenere watch this letter, because I want, we want, to pass our apologies on in person.  I can’t believe, I seriously can’t believe, that you let it get this far.  The fact that you were willing to wait until final choice was bad enough, but at least there the girls would be expecting a rather abrupt partnership.”

“I can’t imagine what you have put that poor girl through, and all because you failed to man up and actually ask a girl yourself!”

“Anyway, to your poor partenere, our sincere apologies.  We hope that you both will do well in the Colonization Force, obviously, and will be praying for you and your children, when you have one.  Hopefully Andrew…” he stopped, blushed, and changed topics.

“Anyway, we are looking forward to finding out, from your letter, who your partenere is, and meeting her family and all.  Apparently it is the regular thing, I asked around, for the families of Colonization Force partnerships to get together from time to time.  Once you join your unit, we will even have unit meetings.  Not many people in our family have volunteered, so much of this is new to us.”

“Your mother would like to say a few words…” he said, and left.

Andrew’s mother did indeed ‘say a few words’, and nice ones too.  She welcomed me to their family, and told me all about them: much I had already learned from Andrew but some new stuff too.  Then she had his siblings all come in.  They didn’t seem to have caught on that Andrew was in trouble.

But I hardly heard any of it, my mind was whirling with what his father had said.  At first it made no sense, but suddenly it hit me what he was accusing Andrew of.

Everyone knew about boys that were too shy to ask a girl to partner with them.  Every once in a rare while one of them would actually go to final choice.  But most of them managed to find some way to get around their problem: ask a sister or other girl relative to go and ‘sound out’ the girl involved, or just, you know, hang around enough so that she got the point and forced the issue.  I even heard about one boy, this might have been just a rumor, I didn’t know him that well, who actually, you know, went ahead with Gruden’s without even asking officially.  Obviously the girl was willing enough… rumor had it they were in her own room at the time… but he had been too shy to actually ask.

People did volunteer without choosing a partner, however, so what made Andrew so different? And that’s what suddenly it hit me.  He hadn’t ‘not chosen’, he must have ‘not asked’.  There had been a girl, for all I knew there were half a dozen girls, who he would have wanted to ask but, because he had been afraid, he had, instead forced me…

The more I thought about it, the angrier I got.  OK, so prisoners had no choice.  It wasn’t like you could suddenly ask a girl from your prison cell… and even less like they would agree! And if he had just, you know, wanted to be a colonist and not found any girl that wanted to come with him, well, OK, everyone knew that that was a part of what the cull was about.  That even happened to boys, sometimes!

But to have a girl, or girls, that you wanted, or at least were willing to partner with, and then, because you were too shy, or too lazy, to ask them to partner with you, so you just go and  volunteer and have the computer pick a partner for you…! He could at least have gone to the computer before hand! And then come to me… it would have told him my name… and at least asked me!

That was why he had waited to last day! He had probably had half a dozen girls on his list and he had just hemmed and hawed… I knew how he could be… until, finally, he had realized it was too late.  He had realized what a colossal idiot he would look like to go and ask one of them,  on his last day.  And what girl would even accept someone that close to final choice, unless they were days away too!

The more I thought about it, the angrier I got.  I had been so close, and for me to have gotten culled not because some computer picked me, or even because some boy had gotten himself in trouble with the law, but because he had just… waited! Not decided! And as a result I was forced to…

In a hot flash it came over me what he had forced, and what I had allowed.  And not just allowed, encouraged.  I had thought about what a good partenere I was getting to be, pleasing him in bed, in the shower, encouraging him at work, talking about his interests, letting him draw me… and all the time he was sitting there, lying to me, letting me think he had just ‘volunteered’!

It came to me that the letter was over, and he was sitting there, trying to say something…

“Aliyah,” he managed finally, just as I said,

“I can’t believe it! How many girls did you have on your list, that you were afraid to ask?”

“I…”

“And, of course, you were afraid to ask me, too.  You knew you could do that, right? It isn’t like the make a secret of it, or it costs anything.  You could have gone down at any time, to any recruitment center, and just asked who your match was!”

“But I…”

“Obviously your parents didn’t put you up to it.  All this time I thought you just suddenly decided to join up.  I asked, you and you said ‘you didn’t know’ why you didn’t partner.  Liar!”

The word hung in the air between us until I, finally, said, “Lights out!” I had already done my duty to him for this evening and he didn’t deserve to see me undress.

He tried, over the next few minutes, to reach out and touch me, the way we had been doing for the last couple weeks now, but I was having none of it.  I would do my duty, for my country and my race.  But this boy didn’t deserve any ‘affection’.  Everyone knew that you didn’t do… what he did.  You didn’t use the Colonization Force to just force some girl to partner with you!

#

Day 16 morning

I awoke to his hand moving across my back and, for the first couple of seconds, relaxed to the accustomed feeling.  Then my brain suddenly filled with what had happened last night and I stiffened.  He must have felt me, because he didn’t even suggest that we turn the lights on until we were finished and I was dressed in my robe.

“I…” he started, but I cut him off.

“We’ll talk later,” I said.  “We have to get to training.”

“I… OK,” he said.

I normally liked how perceptive June was, but it played me false that morning.  She must have seen something in my face because she came up to me, touching my arm, “feeling sick this morning, dear?” she asked.  “No,” I said, stripping off my robe and getting in line.  “The machine would catch that, you know that.”

“Are you OK?” she asked, with a totally different tone.

“No,” I said.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“No!” I said.  It was my problem, and it wouldn’t help to spread it around.

“But dear,” she said.  Just then, however, her baby cried and she turned away for long enough for me to get in the med chamber.

“Hey,” I heard from behind me, and turned, reluctantly.  It was Andrew, of course.

“Hey,” I said, turning back toward ‘my’ sector.  The weight on my back, representing the baby I was supposed to have for this boy, weighed more heavily on my back than it ever had before.

“I’m sorry…”

“I don’t want to talk about it,” I said.  “This is training time, not personal time.  We’ll talk about it tonight.”

“OK,” he said, lifting his rifle and picking off an Enemy, long range.  Today’s geography was very, very different: mountains, cliffs, tall trees.  And, just in front of us, an enormous, rapid, river.  It was a hot day and, after an hour or so I wanted nothing so much as to go swimming in it.  Not that I would, of course, not with enemy about… including the enemy walking alongside me.

Suddenly the green ball disappeared and Andrew put his head to one side, then said, “OK.”

“What?” I said.

“Orders,” he said.  “We’re to find high ground and snipe.”

“Oh,” I said, looking around.  “Up there?” I asked, jerking my head, ‘pointing’ at a ledge about fifty feet up.

“Yeah, that should be great,” he said, then he looked at me.  “Tell you what, let me carry the ‘baby’ up, while you cover us.”

The… oh, “Are we allowed?” I asked.

“What? Of course,” he said.  “You think I won’t ever carry our baby once you have him?” he asked.

“Or her!” I said, as I reached around and unstrapped my pack.

“Her?” he said, indignantly, and then laughed, “Or her, love…”

His voice trailed off at that last and, without another word, he started up the cliff.  I turned and faced outwards, watching until I heard him yell, “OK, come on up!”

I hated to admit it, but I was very  glad he had taken the pack away.  It wasn’t that hard a climb, and of course I knew I was in sim, but still, it would have been very hard with that pack on.

“Here,” he said, when I got close enough so he could reach his hand out to me.  I reached out and grabbed him, and let him pull me up.  I didn’t want to even touch him, but I was exhausted.

“Great,” he said.  Now, which side do you want?

I looked around and realized what a mistake I had made.  And it was my fault, too.  I had picked this ledge to do our ‘sniping’ on and, well, it wasn’t very big.  I sighed, “I’ll take this side,” I said, pointing to the upstream side.  I took my pack back (I didn’t need him to owe me anything else) and laid down, focusing my attention on the river and nearby.  Andrew lay down and, glancing back, I could see he’d done as good as he could to not touch me.  In fact, “I won’t bite,” I said.  “You don’t have to fall off the ledge just because I’m mad at you,” I said, and he moved his legs over on top of mine.  I wiggled, he wiggled, and we eventually arrived at a kind of compromise which didn’t make me too uncomfortable… and which he probably enjoyed.  He enjoyed far too much of this, in my opinion.

“Bang!” Andrew shouted, causing me to jump.

“Andrew!” I said, “you almost made me fall off!”

He looked over his shoulder at me, “No chance of that, love.  Not with that backpack on your back and our legs all knotted up like that.”

I fumed to myself.  He was enjoying this far too much!

This was a good position, though.  No way they could get at us here.  The closest they came over the next few hours was one adult who managed to launch an arrow or whatever at us.  It fell dramatically short, and my shot took him in the… well, not heart, but that liver/kidney thing, after passing through his lungs/chest.

I felt Andrew twitch, but didn’t hear a shot.  I turned, and he had his head turned, like they do… “What’s up?”

“Lunch call,” he said.  “A ways up the mountain from here.  Come on.”

Lunch? I wasn’t sure I could face everyone.  I felt him pulling at my pack, but I jerked away.  “I can do it!” I said, and his face fell.

“Don’t be like that!” he said, “It isn’t your fault you aren’t as strong as me.  I’m your partner, it won’t be just your baby your carrying.  And you know, in real life, you would let me carry it down this cliff.”

“Oh, very well,” I said.  He was right, the idiot.  I gave him the ‘baby’ and followed him down the cliff.  “Which way?” I asked him.

“Up here,” he said, and we started off, with him in the lead, since he knew where we were going.  Why hadn’t the computer told me? Why always Andrew?

“There they are,” he said, pointing up ahead.  I had to say, the computer had picked a gorgeous place for our meeting.  A plateau overlooking a bend in the river.  The gang was already there, different folks from yesterday.  I didn’t know many of them, which was good.  Jeryl was there, and I went up and sat next to her.

“Hey,” I said.

“Nice day, eh?” Jeryl said, which was about the worst thing she could have said, but I put that aside.

“Very pretty,” I said.  “What’s for lunch?”

“I dunno,” she said.  “I haven’t opened the basket yet.  How was your hunting?”

“Profitable,” I said.  “Sniping is certainly less dangerous than just walking through a field.  We must have killed a couple of dozen Packs and Juvies, and we each killed a couple of adults, too.”

“Well,” Jeryl started, but just then her partner plopped himself down behind her,

“My turn off duty,” he said, reaching his hands around her.

“Well!” Jeryl said, again, “We had a good time on duty!” she grinned as he hugged her.  “I like being a sniper, as long as I get to do it with my partner!”

I did my best to keep my feelings off my face, and listened to a couple of other girls, who were talking about being pregnant.  No one else was worrying about lunch, yet, so I took it on myself to start preparing it.  Lisa came and joined me.

“Did you have a good day?” I asked her.

“Well, I find all of this killing hard,” she said.  “I know we have to do it, but I wish I didn’t have to.”

“Maybe you ought to get a job on shipboard,” I said.

“Oh, that’s what I’m hoping for,” she said.  “Jeremy doesn’t particularly like all of this, either.”

I looked at Jeremy as I pulled the meat out of basket.  He didn’t look like the kind of guy that would enjoy this.  Small, skinny, he looked like he would be happier in a library.

“What is that?” Lisa asked me, and I looked down at the ‘meat’ I was holding.

“I dunno,” I said.  “Some kind of bird, I guess.”

“With two sets of wings?” she asked me, picking one  up.  Sure enough, it would have had two sets of wings, and feet, too.  And a long neck, which they had left on when they roasted it.  Oh, well, I hope it tasted good.  We’d probably be catching and eating them on the next sim.

Our reverie was interrupted by a burst of fire and Lisa, along with the rest of us, spun around weapon in hand.  It was a pack and the boys had already downed three of them, but there seemed to be about ten… which was big for a pack, at least in my experience.  When the rest of us opened up we finished them off quickly enough.  “Want to cook some Pack?” One of the boys asked.  Technically he was asking his partenere, but she looked at us.

“It would taste better,” I said.

“But it’d be a lot of work,” Jeryl said, sitting down on her partners lap again.

“And we might not have time to finish before our lunch hour is up,” Lisa finished, so we let the Pack lay there and finished taking out the rest of the meal.

The meal was very awkward.  For one thing they asked Andrew to pray.  How had he gotten a reputation for religion? And then, of course, they gave Andrew his turn ‘off’, which the rest of them were using to, well, cuddle, with their parteneres.  He came nervously up to me but, not willing to utterly humiliate him in front of his friends, no matter what he had done to me, I sat him down in front of me, and hugged him, like the other girls were doing, or, almost, anyway.  We didn’t talk but, we might not have talked anyway.  Several other couples weren’t talking.

Still, all in all, I was glad when lunch was over and we moved off together.  It turned out, ironically I thought, that our very next assignment was to kill and cook lunch, which turned out to be Pack.

#

Day 16, evening

Andrew came out of the boy’s door at the exact same second I came out of ours, and we both paused, awkwardly.  Then we walked down to our room and, even more awkwardly, had to wait while the other couple finished dressing and left.  This wasn’t the first time this had happened but it was always awkward, with everyone facing away from each other and all.  Finally they left and, as I walked toward the shower Andrew said, “I…”

“Turn around!” I snapped.  When he did I said, “Well?”

“I… I’m sorry for what my Dad said…”

“Was it true?” I asked… and the silence answered me even before he said,

“I guess so.  I mean, I didn’t plan it that way! I just… I just couldn’t ask anyone… and final choice was coming closer and closer.  It was probably too close for me to get anyone anyway, who wants someone that has waited that long? My sisters told me that any girl I asked would feel like they were just asked because I was desperate.”

“And I was desperate.  I really did want to partner! I’ve always wanted to! But I never could ask anyone.  And then I was walking to work from the bus stop and, there it was, the induction center.  And all I could think of was I would get a partner, and everyone would be so proud of me because I had volunteered.  Honestly, I didn’t think about…”

“About me?!” I asked, and he almost slumped over.

“Who was she?” I asked, and he started to turn around to ask me,

“Who was who?”

“The girl you were going to ask? The girl you wanted instead of me?”

“Instead of you?” he asked, doing his best to sound bemused, as if he didn’t know what I meant.

“There must have been some girl you wanted to ask, some girl you dreamed of!” I turned off the shower and started drying.  “Some girl you just couldn’t bring yourself to ask because she was just too good.  So instead you forced me…!”

I pulled on my robe and pushed past him, and he turned and undressed.

“It wasn’t like that, honest!” he said.

“There was no other girl you wanted to ask?” I asked him, and he blushed.

“Well, I would have…” his voice trailed off and he finished showering, and the rest of our activities, with neither of us speaking.

#

Day 17, morning

The next morning I felt June’s eyes on me as I stood in line. I tried to act relaxed but I obviously failed. As I turned to go to my suit she pulled me aside.

“Aliyah,” June said, her voice almost motherly, “You need to tell me what is wrong.”

I turned to face her.  “Is this an official thing?” I asked.  “Do I really have to tell you?”

She shrank back as if I had slapped her.  “No, no dear, but…”

“Then leave me alone,” I said, and turned back toward the med chamber, everyone’s eyes on me, shocked. Few peopel were ever rude to June. And I felt horrible about it. But I felt worse about what Andrew had done to me, and I knew what she would recommend: forgiving him. But what he did was unforgiveable. Absoloutely unforgiveable. If only he had told me, it might not have been so bad. If he had told me right away. But to let me live with him, do Grudens with him, all these days, thinking he had just ‘signed up’!

#

Day 17, morning

“Hey, Aliyah,” Jill said, coming in sim with me the next morning which, thankfully, I was doing ‘alone’, ie without Andrew.  It was a space warfare sim, which was about the most boring thing in the world, and I was glad to have someone come sim with me… both of us sitting at our own consoles, but we got to talk, anyway.  “What’s up with Andrew?” she asked.

I sighed.  I desperately wanted to talk, but not about me and Andrew! “Oh, nothing.  Why?”

“Well, something’s up.  His rankings are in the toilet.”

“What?” I said, sitting up and looking at her.

“You didn’t notice? I guess you were too busy talking with June.  Yesterday he was at 2100 on the overall rankings… not too bad, almost top fifth.  Today he’s at 7602.  That’s quite a drop for one day.  Did he tell you how his day went yesterday? Did he royally fail some test? Crash some spaceship or something? I hear the boys have been doing a lot of work with ships.”

I cringed at her words.  It hadn’t been a ship that had crashed.  Did they listen to what we said… and did… in the Dorm? My outraged modesty clashed with fear that they knew what Andrew had done to me.  What would they do to him? Not that it was, technically, illegal.

“Not that I heard,” I said.  “I’ll ask him tonight.”

“You do that.  Did you hear that Marsha is pregnant? You and I are going to be alone in the full sims, soon.”

I didn’t know what to think about that, actually.  I was embarrassed that I wasn’t pregnant, even if Jill was exaggerating a bit, it couldn’t be more than half our class that had already gotten pregnant.  It was something that I was… we were supposed to be doing, our duty, and, while I knew I wasn’t failing at my duty, maybe the other girls might start thinking I was.

But, at the same time, the very thought of carrying his child was disgusting.  I wasn’t even sure I wanted children, but the idea that they would be his children, because we had…

“Yes, I saw her light turn red,” I said.  “She was excited.”

“Jealous?” Jill asked, startling me.

“What, I, well, aren’t you?”

“Yes!” she said.  And then, “Is everything OK with you and Andrew? Are you still… you know?”

“Yes!” I said.  “It isn’t because of that.  You know what they told us, we can’t all get pregnant every time…” Suddenly I realized what I had heard in her voice.

“Is everything OK with you all?” I asked her.

“I… I hope so.  I didn’t think boys were supposed to be ‘too tired’.”

I blushed.  I couldn’t believe that I was having this conversation.  But, she was obviously hurting.  “Is he often too tired?”

“Just this last week,” she said.  “He certainly never was before.”

“Has anything changed this last week?” I asked her.

We talked for quite a while and it turned out that, a few days prior, they hadn’t been quite dressed, afterward, when the other couple came in.  Her partner hadn’t said anything but…

“He was probably really embarrassed,” I said.  “And now, whenever you two, when… maybe he thinks about that and it makes his scared or something.”

“But what should I do?” she asked.

I blushed, but gritted my teeth.  She obviously really wanted my advice.  “Wake him up,” I said.  “In the middle of the night.  You can’t get walked in on then!”

“Do you think… but he tells me he is too tired…”

“Don’t you think that is just an excuse?” I asked.

“Maybe,” she said, and we moved on to other topics.

Space Sim was very boring and obviously the computer thought I was getting out of shape and I needed exercise, because, after about six hours of space sim, I was suddenly back on the beach, running in the sand.

Which gave me time to think about something other than Jill and her partner.  After a few hours thought I came around to Andrew’s scores I realized that they probably hadn’t listened to us in our dorm… they wouldn’t care anyway that he joined because he hadn’t been able to get up the nerve to ask a girl.  They just cared how he was doing.

And, just as obviously, he was probably doing badly because he was all freaked out by what had happened between us.  Any idiot would know that a boy who had a partenere that was mad at him wouldn’t do as well in his training.  And I knew they listened to us during our training, and, well, we hadn’t been doing well then, either.

Did I care? I guess I did.  We were partners, and what he did would reflect on me.  But… I couldn’t just turn off being mad.

Day 18 afternoon

“Hello, Aliyah,” I heard, and turned to see June. “Are you done being mad at me?”

“I… I wasn’t mad at you,” I protested. “I’m mad at Andrew.”

“Of course you are. And it is killing you.”

“Well, of course! He…”

#

Day 17, evening

“Listen,” I said, that night.  “I’m mad at you.  You know that.  What you did was… it was almost unspeakable.”

“I…”

“But we’re partners, for life.  You can’t change that, and I certainly can’t change that.  So I don’t want you thinking I’m not going to do my duty, or that you are going to come home to…” This had sounded so good when I had said to myself earlier in the day.

“I will be a good partenere,” I concluded, lamely.  “I don’t want you to be afraid to come home.”

He stood there, staring at me.  “I’m sorry,” he said.  “I never meant to hurt anyone, and, I would never want to hurt you, honestly.”

I stared at him.  I had no idea what to say.  “Lights out,” I said, finally.

#

Day 20, mid day

“Hey Jill,” I said, blushing.  I didn’t really want to talk about her problem again but I knew I couldn’t really avoid it, so I had accepted her ‘invitation’.  “How did things go?” I asked, deciding to go ahead and bite the bullet.

“Oh, Aliyah, I can’t think you enough!”

“It worked, then?”

“Yes, yes, although I really didn’t tell you the truth.  I didn’t know it myself, I think.  I woke him up, like you said but, when I thought about it, I had to figure out what to say! I couldn’t just ask him, you know, if he wanted to.  So I decided, I decided to say that I wanted to.”

That worked, like a charm, and it was just like before.  Better even.  And, after we got done, I suddenly realized that it was me that had been nervous.  Because I wasn’t nervous… in the middle of the night.  He must have sensed this, that next night.  So, once I told him I wanted it, why, he was back to his old self.”

“Ah, well, good.” Hard to believe that I was giving advice on partnership! I hardly knew what I was doing.

“How’s it going with Andrew?” she asked.

“Better,” I said.

“What was wrong?” she asked.  “You two used to be real cuddly and then, bang…”

“I can’t really talk about it,” I said.  “I got mad at him over something I can’t talk about and then June read me the riot act.”

“June’s good at that,” she said.  “She wasn’t so helpful with my problem, not as much as you, anyway.  She was all full of advice about being gentle, and willing, and all.  But nothing so practical as ‘wake him up in the middle of the night’.  You need to go into counseling.”

“Oh, please,” I said, laughing.  “I would hate that! I’m glad I was helpful but… sitting in a chair all day saying, ‘tell me how your are feeling…'”

Jill had the grace to laugh and started talking about how her partner was doing with his space sims which, apparently, he loved.

#

The beginning of the trip, when it came, was very anti-climactic.  Everyone knows that you don’t slip into underspace directly from a planet’s orbit, and that thrusters, well, that thrusters are the slowest part of a trip, but, still.  We were even in sim when it happened, and got to watch, and it was still nothing.  Just New Texas starting to get smaller and smaller, and then the sun getting dimmer and dimmer until, after about an hour, the entire view was replaced, first by the grey of underspace, then an abstract star chart and then, “Back to work, darling,” Andrew said, when the ‘sky’ vanished and our current world replaced it.  “We need to learn how to plant these potatoes.”

I groaned, and leaned back down, the weight on my back seeming like it threatened to sink me into the dirt itself.  Meant to simulate the weight of a (very heavy!) baby Andrew didn’t have to wear it.  But, then, he wasn’t wearing much at all, except weapons; just a kind of loin cloth thing.  And the weapons… completely primitive for this simulation.  I still didn’t really believe that we planted colonies and let them devolve this completely.

This sim had started the morning after Andrew and I had our ‘fight’, and Andrew had seemed to decide to just paper over my anger and pretend that we were real ‘partners’.  His use of the word ‘darling’ was an example.  But it didn’t seem like objecting would help… especially in a sim where everything *was* getting recorded and analyzed.

“There’s a Juvy!” Andrew said, suddenly, and, carefully got out his bow.  It was a very young one, which meant it was still very stupid… ‘twang’.

“Missed!” Andrew said, as the Juvy ran off.

“No, no you didn’t,” I yelled.  I saw it go in.  You must have just injured it.  Go after it!”

I had yelled kind of urgently, as I was hungry, and in these sims you literally didn’t eat unless you caught something, or had something ‘stocked up’; which meant I had to cook it.  Actually, in either case I had to cook , but some roast Juvy would go very well with these potatoes if he would just… I watched him lope off.  At first I had been mad at him for going so slowly, but had learned, myself, that his seemingly slow lope was not only actually rather quick, but that he was able to keep it going for a long while.  I stood up, and wiped my brow.  Either way, we would be eating some potatoes.  Now I just had to plant these, by myself, and then go inside, get some water boiling, chunk and boil the potatoes, set the table with spices and things and… if I was lucky and had time, take a quick bath with some of the water as it heated.

#

Day 22, evening

“Hey,” Andrew said to me, coming in to our cell.

“Turn around,” I said, “or turn the lights out.”

“OK…” he said, disappointment evident in his voice but dutifully turning around and taking his clothes off.  “How did your day go?” He asked, nervously.

“Fine,” I said.  “Yours?”

“Pretty good, actually.  I got to fly this shuttle… by sim, of course… and I had to bank it around this…”

“Turn around!” I snapped as he began to move his hands in a half circle that, I knew, would turn him toward me.

“Sorry,” he said.  “Anyway, it was cool.  What did you do?”

“Space warfare,” I said.  “Totally boring.  You can shower now.”

“Thanks.”

I lay in bed, later, and glowered.  This room was so small that he basically had to touch me when we slept but the kind of intimate embrace that, just last night, I had welcomed, was now irritating.  But he was asleep, what could I do? I couldn’t wake him up each time he moved over, could I?

How could he do that to me? Let me live with him all that time thinking he was a recruit…

“Aliyah?” He put his arm around me and tried to roll me over, but I resisted him.  “Aliyah, is there anything I can do…?”

“You’ve already done, quite enough, thank you,” I snapped.

We lay together in silence for a few minutes, and then I felt his back relax where it lay against mine.  The idiot was asleep! How could he sleep when I… I cried, more, quietly this time.

06: Leaving and calling

Leaving and calling

 

Day 7, morning

“Hey, Love,” Andrew said, and I turned around, startled.  I had just gotten in the simulator and did not expect him.  “I guess we get to sim together today,” he said, pulling me toward him and kissing me.

“Ummm, I guess so,” I said.  I had known this was coming, but it still took me by surprise.

“I have been looking forward to simming together!” he said, unwrapping his hands and taking mine.  “Look, the little green ball.  Let’s see where it goes.”

We were walking across a beautiful flat plain, similar to New Texas.  Ahead of us I saw a river and, looking down and seeing that I was in a soldier suit and carrying one of those big rifles, I tightened my grip and starting watching out on one side while Andrew stared out the other.  Even with our attention our first alien took us by surprise, and I had to fire three times before Andrew, turning, killed him with a head shot.  I cursed, to myself, and tried to pay even more attention.

It was difficult fighting, however.  Whoever this was has planted crops, reasonably tall crops, right down to the river side, and the aliens could come out of the fields at a dead run, continuously surprising me.

I was also surprised when it wasn’t me that was killed first.  I had just killed a Juvy that had come out on my side when I heard a choking noise and turned to see Andrew, attacked by three Pack at the same time, going down with one of them on his throat.  They were so busy killing Andrew that I got all three of them before they could turn on me.  I stared in horror at Andrew’s body on the ground and then, hearing rustling, had to turn and fight off my own pack of Pack, one of which bit me soundly, but rather ineffectively, on the chest.

I was rubbing myself where it had bit me when I heard, from the ground behind me, some decidedly non-Christian language.  I turned and saw Andrew getting up, his throat miraculously repaired and once again breathing.  He had the grace to blush, “Sorry, but that was really painful.  I’ll try to not use that kind of language again.  Especially over a little thing like dying in sim.  Look out!” he shouted and I turned and was rather proud of the way I took the adult coming at me with a hip shot.

“Thanks,” I said, hearing him get up and turn back to back with me.  “Come on, our ball leadeth us.”

He chuckled at my Biblical allusion and we continued walking, talking, and killing.

“Ouch!” Andrew said, when the computer brought him back from his second ‘death’.  “That hurt!”

“I’m sorry, Andrew,” I said, “I couldn’t get my gun around in time.”

“It wasn’t your fault,” he said.  “I’m supposed to be able to defend myself, you, and the baby.  That’s the partner’s job.”

“And what’s my job?” I asked, wearily picking up my pack again, as the stupid little bouncing ball moved on again.

“Why, you know,” he said, awkwardly.  “Having kids.  You remember what they said, about how we breed so slowly.”

We breed slowly, anyway,” I said.  “Another girl showed up pregnant this morning.”

“Don’t worry,” he said, slapping me on the back.  “We’ll succeed one of these nights.”

“I hope so,” I said.  “I would like to have your child.”

“Children, dear, children,” he said, slapping me again.  “Many, many children to fight the enemy…”

Suddenly we had real enemies to fight, and our conversation was over for a while.  But my thoughts weren’t.  Children, breeding, fighting… that was what my life was reduced to.  I thought, jealously, about the job that I was missing… the job I had actually been hired on for before I graduated, subject, of course, to my not being culled.

This job… we were practically animals.  Harvest, eat, breed, sleep… fight.  I dropped asleep each night physically exhausted.  I was tired in places I didn’t know you could even have muscles.  And, of course, none of my tiredness slowed Andrew down in his attempts to get me with child.  Not that I thought he would slow down once I was with child! He had made that clear, as had the Newtonian.  And, in their own way, Gruden’s and my mother.

“Ouch!” Andrew said, again, and I looked over to see him killing an alien who had just bit him in the leg.  I hurried over and put pressure on his wound.  “Ouch!!” he repeated, scanning all around us.  “Those teeth are sharp!”

We had a very nice surprise at lunch time, coming around a corner and seeing five other couples standing around what was obviously a picnic.  June and Marten, Grant and Jane, Jill…

“What’s this?”Andrew said, as we came closer.

“Lunch!” Marten said.

“Time off?” Andrew said, looking out into the brush.

“I wouldn’t count on it,” Grant said, seriously.  “We’d better keep guards out.”

I sighed.  Must be always training? Were we never going to get to just relax? I was exhausted.

As it turned out I didn’t have to worry about myself.  The boys took turns guarding and we girls, except for when we were actually being attacked, which only happened about five times during lunch, mostly sat around and got stuff ready or cleaned it up… and ate, of course.  The meal itself was delicious, sandwiches with roast, sliced, cold Juvy… and some delicious pickles that I didn’t recognize.

And it was really neat to meet with our ‘gang’ outside of official break time.  Martin prayed for lunch, of course, but outside of that there were no ‘spiritual’ bits; not for us girls, anyway.  I heard the boys discussing something called ‘preterism’, but I ignored them.

“This is so beautiful,” Jill said, after lunch, as we sat there putting things away.

“Just like home,” I said.

“Except for the enemy,” Jill added, laughing.

“There is that,” I admitted ruefully, with a quick glance at the other major thing that was different from home.  He was listening to, but not participating in, the discussion.  “And the food,” I added, lifting up a bit of roast Juvy.

“Well, we’ll be eating a lot of it where we’re going,” Jill said, “We’d best get used to it.”

#

We broke for lunch and Andrew and I went our way together, walking the rivers edge and killing aliens all the way.  I think, once, I even got a shot at an enemy female, and we found, and destroyed, a nest of eggs twice.  Stripping out of my suit and pulling my robe on, I went to the door and came out just at the same time as Andrew.  “I loved spending the day with you,” he said, reaching out for my hand.  Several other people were coming out the door and we had to hurry out of their way.

“Me, too,” I said, almost meaning it, but definitely feeling the difference in our relationship.  Our walk wasn’t long since out room was in the same hallway as our training room, and I was on the side toward the door when we got there, so I reached out and put my hand on the plate.

#

Day 7, evening

“Oh!” I said, when the door opened to reveal a boy, obviously just out of the shower, pulling on his shirt.  “I’m so sorry,” I said, embarrassed and looking back at the door plate.  I thought…”

“Come in, come in,” a girl said, from next to the door.  “It’s all right, you didn’t get the room wrong.  The computer said that you would be along.  Sorry we’re so late getting ready to go, but we’ll be out of here in a second.”

“I… I don’t understand,” I said, as Andrew pushed me into the room so the door could close.  The boy, as he finished pulling on his shirt, said.

“It’s called ‘hot-bunking’.  In the end there will be six of us in each room, for eight hours each.  Sorry.”

“It’s not your fault,” Andrew said as the boy, the girl in tow, scooshed past us toward the door.  “See you…”

“Tomorrow morning, our time,” the boy said as the door closed, laughing.

“Well, that’s new,” Andrew said, pulling off his own shirt.  “Come shower with me? I thought of a new passage, today,” he said, as we undressed.  “I even thought of something to say about it.  I realized, last night, that I really should try to pick something neutral.  It isn’t like I’m really ready to ‘preach’ to you.  So I found a passage that really talked to me, when I was younger.  It’s in Philippians chapter four…”

He must have been excited about that passage because we actually did our ‘worship time’ before, you know, other things.  I lay there, afterward, wondering how I felt about this new super spiritual husband.  He would probably forget all about it after a while, I decided.  He was just reacting to Marten’s admonition.  And, besides, it was probably good we got together, religiously, before we suddenly had children.

#

Day ten, church, morning

 

“Ladies and gentlemen,” Martin said.  “I’ve been asked to make an announcement.  As you all know the ship is getting full, and ready to leave.  So soon you will get to make your first, and only, ‘letter home’ during this training period.  Here’s how it will work.  Today you can record your letter.  It can be as long as you like, and to as many people.  The letter will get sent down to the planet and then, when you time comes, it will get sent to your parents or whoever you send it to.  At the same time any letter or letters that people have sent you will come up.  Your letters downplanet will, of course, need to be screened.”

“Screened?” Jane asked.

Censored,” he said.  “Now that you have been told the truth, they have to make sure you don’t let it out.  The computer can do a lot of it, but, in this case, they want a person listening in on each call.”

“Someone will be listening?”

“Yes.  Some random member of the crew, who will not care how much you say you love your mother or whatever.  They will just care whether or not you give out the secret.”

“Where will we write these ‘letters’?” another girl asked.

“In your rooms,” Martin said.  “That is the only real place where you have any privacy.”

It was a good thing he said that this week.  Last week I would have thought that my cabin was the worst place for privacy.  I squeezed Andrew’s hand, and he looked at me in surprise.  Boys.

“And then, the big news you all knew was coming, in a few days we will be heading off to the front.  Which gives us a huge load of things we should be praying about…”

Andrew and I, after service and lunch, were cuddling in a corner.  A lot of other couples did this, more and more each week.  I found it very restful now that, well, now that we were really partners.  “Are you excited, or terrified?” he asked me.

“About the enemy? Or writing a letter to my mother?”

He laughed, “Both, I guess.”

“Both, I guess.”

He laughed again.  “I’m so glad to be going with you,” he said, cuddling me closer.  “I was worried about what kind of partner I would get.”

“I suppose we all worry about that,” I said, cuddling back.  “but, really, what can I say about you in the letter? I feel like I hardly know you!”

He gave me his ‘evening’ look and I punched his arm, “Outside of that, I mean.  And I know how many brothers you have.  But, really, do you have any hobbies?”

“Well, I did,” he said.  “I really liked to draw.”

I sat up, “That’s right!” I said, “Can you draw something for my family?”

“I never have any time, nowadays,” he protested.

“Well, you have time today,” I said.

“But, I don’t have any materials,” he said, again, more weakly.

I darted off and, after a short conversation with June, opened a cupboard and came back, “Can you do chalk?” I asked, holding up the computer chalkboard.

“It… It’s my favorite,” he said.  “Now, hold still.”

“What?” I squealed but,

“Hold still!” he ordered again, and I ‘held still’.

It was annoying, holding so still for so long, and not getting to see.  I could see his glance darting back and forth from my face to his board, and see the quick, long, strokes he was making, the board held carefully on his crossed legs.  “Are you… can I see?” I asked.

“Hold still!” he said, again, more sharply, and I settled back (without moving) to wait.

“There,” he said, a half an hour later, and handed me the board.

“Ooooh,” I said, for it was me! Laying there with my legs crossed in my uniform.  You could really tell.  I thought he was just, that he just ‘liked’ to draw.  But he really could draw.

“Like it?” he asked, nervously.

“Jane!” I said, as the only girl that wasn’t actively wrapped up in her partner.  “Jane, come look!”

Jane, and Grant, came over.  Jane ‘ooohed’ appreciatively, but Grant, picking it up, nodded.  “Good job.  No wonder you are so good at maps and things.  You really have an eye.”

I stared at Andrew.  “I’m not really good at them,” he said, “Just better than at some other things.”

Grant  laughed and slapped him on the shoulder, “You’re OK, Andrew,” he said and then, taking Jane by the waist, went back to their area.

“Wow,” I said, cuddling up next to Andrew and holding the board where we could both see.  “This is really good.  What else can you draw?”

“People are my favorite,” he said.  “But I like animals too.”

“Can I… can I show my mother?”

“What?!” he said.

“Can I show my mother, can I send a copy? I think it will help, help make you, you know, a real person.”

“Ummm, sure.  It’s not my best.  Here, let me try again.”

“OK,” I said, “But I am going to copy this one, as your first.”

“My first… oh,” he said, grinning and took the board back after I had entered the necessary commands.

He did another picture of me, then one of June nursing.  Martin came over to oogle his wife on paper, and that caused everyone to come look and Andrew to be mightily embarrassed.  In the end practically every partner wanted a picture of his partenere and Andrew was busy the rest of break day.

#

Day ten evening

“Do you want to start?” I asked Andrew, as soon as we got back to our room.

“huh?” he said, caught in the act of pulling off his shirt.

“The letter,” I said.

“Oh,” he said, pulling his shirt back on.  He thought for a minute.  “So you want to do them together?” he asked.

“Huh?”

“The Letter.  Do you want to do the letter together?”

“Oh.  Oh, yeah! That should be great!” I said.  I had thought we would just take turns, but together would be so much better.  My folks would just love it, I was sure, as would my siblings.  I sat down in front of the computer and, zipping his shirt back in place, he sat down next to me.

“Computer! Record, voice and video,” I said, and the screen lit up.  I changed the focus some, I didn’t really want my folks to see the tiny room we were living in, and started.

“Hey, Mom, Dad, kiddos! Remember me?” I giggled, “This is Andrew, my partner!” I drew him closer to me.  “He’s been really great to me and we’re doing all sorts of training.”

I went on and on about the training for a while, and then, “Oh, and I’ve met some new friends…” and told them all about June, and Jane, and Jill, and then suddenly I remembered and said, “Say something, Andrew!”

“Umm, hi,” he said.  “My name is Andrew Tome and my folks live in La Grange, and Aliyah is just great.  I… I was going to be an artist and Aliyah has a picture that I drew of her that she wants to send you.  I’m not sure what else to say.”

“Silly, Andrew,” I said, clinging to his arm.  “He is kind of shy, mom, can you imagine me with a shy boy? And no, Mom, not yet, but hopefully soon,” I said, talking my way around a question I knew she would want answered.  “How is everyone back home?” I asked.  “How did graduation go without me there? How did my poor stand in do? Did anyone partner?”

It was a strange phenomenon, but most graduation parties resulted in several partnerships.  People who had lived through the stress of cull all year suddenly broke down after they were safe and partnered.  “I gave you my exemption, Beth,” I said, “Although I doubt you will need it.  I’m sure you will just say yes to the first boy that asks.  But if you do you can give it away to someone else, or sell it, Daddy will like that!”

“Well, we’ll record more later, bye now,” I said, and told the computer to stop recording.

“Are you ready for yours?” I asked, and then suddenly realized we were supposed to be doing it together.  “Oh, I’m so sorry!” I said.

“No, no, my folks will love that,” he said.  “We can attach them together, and then everyone will get both letters.”

“OK,” I said.  “Your turn?”

“I’m kind of tired,” he said, “Let’s do it tomorrow.”

“OK,” I said, and we got undressed, showered, and went to bed.

5b: Weapons of War

Weapons of War

Suddenly the scene changed and I realized, to my chagrin, that I was naked again.  Alone, luckily, or, not quite alone.  I was standing in front of a female soldier type who looked at me with a very business like attitude.  “Today you are going to learn to wear the Cf’s soldier suit.  It is not very complicated, but, still, there are things you need to learn.  First of all, the underwear.  Not that it is ‘underwear’ properly understood.  It is your most intimate garment and will help with your physical needs during combat.”

The garment, underwear and all, would only have taken her a few minutes to put on and, I was assured, a few seconds once she was used to it.  But the explanation of all the various bits… the inbuilt armor… the auto med capability… took at least an hour.  And then there were the weapons… that took the rest of the day.  It became obvious, very early on, that the ‘girl’ was only a simulation, and I relaxed and felt free to ask questions, as many questions as I wished.  Sims were good for that.  With a real person you always felt as if you were annoying them, or embarrassing yourself, asking too many ‘stupid’ questions.

Finally, however, I ran out of questions and the sim proceeded past suit and weapons to actual firing.  A test range and then, hours later, ‘real’ enemies… that is simmed aliens.  Hours and hours, or so it seemed, until, finally, my world ended in darkness and I reached forward to unhook my mask.

The girl next to me was half undressed already, and looked at me.  “Hey,” she said, her voice a bit flat.  “Can you believe it?”

It took me a few seconds to remember the incredible news from this morning.  “I guess I have to,” I said, beginning to strip off my suit.  She finished and put on her robe, coming over to help me.  By now we had several other girls undressing.  “It doesn’t really make a difference, does it?” I asked, thinking about it.  “However we got into the war, we are into it, and we have to win it.”

The girl chuckled dryly, and I realized what I had said.  “I know what you mean,” she said and, dressed, we left together, arm in arm.

#

 “Have a hard day?” Andrew asked me, from the shower.  “I should be out in just a second.”

I started to undress.  He finished and we slipped past each other.  “I had a horrible day,” I said.  “They told us the truth.”

I looked out at him, startling him into turning around.  “I’m sorry,” he said.

“It’s not your fault,” I said.  “They told us the truth today, the truth about the aliens.”

“Ah,” he said.

“Did you know?” I asked him.

“I did a whole simulator on it a couple of days ago, but they told me not to tell you yet.  I wanted to.”

“It was probably good you didn’t,” I said.  “I think I would have freaked.  It was good that you didn’t.”

Everything was silent for a few minutes, and then, when I turned the shower off, he said, “Lights out?”

“Yeah, sure,” I said, not bothering with my robe.  After all, I would just have to take it off again in a few seconds.

“How was your day?” I asked him.

“Hard,” he said.  “We went on this incredible run, down a beach yet.  That’s why I took the shower first, I was so sweaty I didn’t think you would even want to be in the same room as me.”

I wasn’t sure I ever wanted to be, but, “Well, that was nice of you,” I said.  “Why did you have to run?”

“I dunno, just part of our training.  I tell you, Grant is great at running.  He beat us all.”

I giggled, “There’s something else he beat you all at, too.”

“Oh?” he asked.

“Jane’s pregnant.”

“Really? That’s so great.” Then, after a pause, he asked, “We’re you upset?”

“Oh, no,’ I said.  It’s not like you haven’t been trying…

<8/5/2095 5:55:00 AM>Day 5 morning

I woke up a couple of hours later to screaming.

“Lights!” I said, rolling over to look at Andrew, who was rolling over and over on the ground, holding his calf.  “What’s wrong?”

“A cramp!” he said, writhing in pain.

“Roll over,” I said.  “here, let me do it.”

“Aaah!” he yelled.  “Not so hard!”

“Sorry,” I said, “here, let me stretch it.”

“Aaah!” he yelled.

“Should I stop?” I asked, concerned.  “This is what they taught us to do for cramps.”

“No, no, don’t stop, it just hurts… aaah!”

I stretched it for a couple of more minutes, until his yelling moved down to a dull roar.  “Let me get you a banana,” I said, moving over to the food processor.

“A what?” he asked.

“A banana,” I said.  “They taught us they were good for cramps,” I added, handing it to him and watching him while he ate it.  “They have potassium or something.”

“OK,” he said, dubiously, swallowing the last of the banana.  “Do you mind if I take a shower now?” he asked.  “I think the hot water will help…”

“Sure, go ahead,” I said.  “I’m going to try to get some sleep.”

“Do I need to turn out the light?” he asked.

“No, just dim it,” I said, pulling the blanket over me and laying back down, as he dimmed the lights.  A few minutes later I felt him crawl in with me.  “Better?” I mumbled sleepily.

“Yeah.  It’s not gone, but it’s better.”

I reached out and felt, eventually finding his ankle, and began a slow, deep rub.

“Oooh,” he said.

“Does that help?” I asked him.

“Ooooh, yes, oooh.”

It was an hour later before I finally stopped.  “Thanks Aliya,” he said.  “You’re wonderful.  Love you…”

“… love you…” I said, not really believing that I was saying it, and not sure whether or not I meant it.  He rolled over and kissed me, then rolled back.

#

<8/6/2095 9:55:00 PM>Day six evening

Our next day’s instruction covered a lot more about the Enemy.  We learned several dozen ways to kill their eggs, and a dozen or so ways to cook their young.  Apparently, if the simulator was any indication, the young ones who had just left the water were delicious, and even the slightly older ones were good.

Cooking them meant, of course, gutting them.  On New Texas pretty much everyone butchered their own meat, but I had never had much to do with it.  This sim insisted I do it all by myself, though, getting all over blood.  Luckily it pretended there was a stream nearby and I got to wash in it.  Not that I was really all over blood, of course, but the sim made me feel that way.

And, of course, in order to gut them I had to kill them first, and that was something girls, on NT, almost never did.  I especially didn’t do it because I had lived in a town, unlike my girl friends.  I would have found it hard, in real life, but of course, in sim, the computer made sure you got your shot right before it let you fire, and then had you practice again and again and again on the same shot until your muscles had it memorized.

That was great for gutting too.  You’ve probably gutted an animal so you know what I’m talking about, but it is all full of tricks, of finding the exact place in a joint that makes a cut really easy, and the end meat roast look really nice.  The computer had me practice again, and again, with each age of enemy and each cut, until my own muscles could do it.  And it told me what I was cutting, too, which was kind of interesting.

The enemy physiology was really different from ours.  They didn’t have a heart, for example.  Instead they had several places in the body where the muscles were moving anyway, like the lungs (which were also really different) and it put a lot of blood through those muscles.  Every time they moved, that pumped blood.  So the enemy never had what we would call a ‘systolic’ blood pressure, the blood just kind of flowed continually.

The liver and kidney were all in one organ, too, a really big, flat, brown organ right above the back with all sorts of arteries flowing into it.  It didn’t use a bladder, but dumped the urine directly into the digestive track.

None of this made much difference in killing it, however.  The brain was in the normal place, in the head and descending down the neck.  And they were super fast, which made them really hard to kill.  That was something else the computer had me practice again and again.

Luckily I didn’t have to practice alone.  For the first time I succeeded in getting June to come and do something with me.  “I haven’t really been able to do so before, dear,” she said.  “Most of what you’ve been doing I’ve already done.  But target practice, well, we all have to do that.”

We shot together for a while, and then she said, “So, how is it going with Andrew?”

I looked at her a bit annoyed.  It seemed she was always prying into my personal affairs.  But I guess she was sort of the pastor’s partner, and so that made it her job.  And I guess it really was important that I get my relationship with Andrew down.  We were going to be partners for the rest of our life.  “Oh, pretty good,” I said.  “Last night was good, I think.  He got a cramp and I helped him with it.”

She made me tell her all about it, dragging stuff out of me… “Well, how do I know if I love him?” I asked.

“But, dear, you are supposed to love him.  It’s not a feeling, you know; or not just a feeling.  Love is an action, a relationship.  You remember I Cor 13?” she said, and proceeded to give me a little lecture/sermon on what I was supposed to be doing to be ‘loving’.

“How does that help me know if I love him?” I asked, when she got done.

“But dear…” she said, sounding as frustrated as I felt.  “Dear, you are his partner.  There are things you are supposed to do.  You are supposed to love him, to act lovingly toward him.  Part of that is telling him that you love him.”

“Even if I don’t know if I do?”

She sighed.  “Dear, tell him you love him, act like you love him, and the feelings will come.  He seems like he is trying hard to be a good partner, in spite of our difficult circumstances.  He has a step up on the rest of the boys in our group, he didn’t drag you in because he committed some crime.  Accept what he is doing as his way of showing that he loves you, and…”

“He just wants to ‘love’ me in bed,” I said, finally bringing up what was really bothering me.  “That’s not all I want out of the relationship.”

She smiled.  She tried to hide it but she smiled.  I guess it must seem funny to her, who was on the second boy in her bed, and having had a baby and all.  “Well, dear, they go together.  The boy wants sex first, and the relationship second.  We girls want the relationship first, and sex second.  Martin talks to the boys about this as well, but I am talking to you.  You need to please your partner in bed, and then hope, and pray, that he will learn and grow in the relationship.”

“Andrew is very, very shy.  I’m sure you have learned that.  Martin tells me that it is painfully evident in his training, and he is sure it must affect your relationship.  You will have to learn how to draw him out.  But you won’t do it very successfully, in my opinion, by threatening him or being cold in bed.  You need to get him to trust you, to really trust you, and then he can open up with you and move toward the kind of relationship you want.”

Just my luck, I thought, getting a shy boy.  She was right, though.  Every time I tried to get him to talk about himself he clammed up.  Unless it was about his art, of course.  And even then he would rather draw me than talk about his drawings.

“I hope I’ve helped, dear,” June said, incongruously right after totally decapitating a Juvy with the rather powerful rifle we were training with.

“Oh, yes,” I said.  “I knew all this, of course, from my mother.  But it’s different when I actually have to live it out.”

“Yes,” she said.  “And I wouldn’t want you to think that I have always done perfectly.  I remember how hurt Martin was when I…”

#

I got back to the room that night before Andrew, and made it in, and out of, the shower before he got there… all wrapped up in my robe.  I watched him take his clothes off.  “Andrew!” I said, “you’re all dirty!”

“We had to work in the ‘gardens’ today.  Apparently there will be times when we will actually need to work with real dirt.”

“But, you’re dirty all over!” I said.

“Yeah, well, I had to shovel the stuff.”

I watched him get in the shower and, suddenly, made a decision.  A decision I knew June would approve of and I, finally, was ready for myself.  I slipped off my robe and got in behind him.  “Here, let me wash your back…”

#

Our time together that night went much easier than before, and Andrew loved it.  But I was surprised when, when we had finished, he sat up and got out his computer.  “Love?” I asked.

“I keep forgetting,” he said.  “I keep forgetting our worship time.  I remembered today, though, and even had a text I wanted to share with you.  Where was it?”

I sat up, feeling very awkward, and wondering if I should at least put on a robe? I mean, praying and preaching, like this? But Andrew ignored my discomfort, having found his passage.  “Here it is!” he said.  “I was thinking about this passage while I was simming.  Solomon wrote it about the perfect partner.  I don’t know how he knew about you…”

I blushed and leaned over, while he read the passage from Proverbs 31, a passage I was very familiar with.  He tried preaching about it, but, in the end, he kind of just kept telling me how wonderful I was and, eventually, he just prayed for us and we went to sleep.

I lay there, grinning, reminded of when I was a little kid and my folks would come ‘do prayers’ with me.  He was funny, Andrew…